Rapier's Wit

As reported on Facebook, my sleep has been filled with oddball, subconscious visions. WEIRD dreams, yo. It seemed a perfect blog topic. It could become a regular thing. If my dreams do not fulfill the spot I might suggest friends report their sleepy time oddities to me. Anonymity would be the name of the game, naturally. As for me, there's no shame in my game. Typically, my dreams aren't vivid. From time to time there will be one but recall is fleeting as I'm awakened by my 53 year old bladder. In an effort to quickly fall back to sleep once nature's call has been answered, I don't allow my brain to explore what had been experienced during nocturnal slumber. Weird dream #1: In this dream I was dating one of my favorite characters from my absolute favorite television program: Schitt's Creek. If you haven't seen it yet, but are a fan of Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara (Second City TV and Christopher Guest flick fame), you must find it. I watch it on P...

Well, the holiday season is in full swing. This year you won't be getting a bah humbug from dear ol' St. Riss.(Yeah, I saw that mighty eye-roll.) via GIPHY Sorry (not sorry) about the seizure inducing GIF. As my previous post expressed, it has been a mighty long time. Usually, by this gift giving season, yours truly finds all the cheerfulness quite menacing. It all starts with the 30 days of gratitude in November. This year, I do have plenty to bitch and moan about, and I will surely share some of those laments later because it can be entertaining. At this very moment, however, I feel content. If you are reading this and aren't a friend in reality nor are you a friend on Facebook -- who hasn't unfollowed or hidden my posts -- then it is new to you that I no longer work for Lenscrafters after 21 years of employment with the optical giant retailer. They decided a one hour lab was no longer needed in several locations including the one where I was a manager. Suck...

Years ago on this blog I used this image as part of my header. In the early years it was called WildHair . With that in mind, the wigs made sense. What brings it forth today? Well, I was perusing my blog image photo album. Had I been consistent with writing a year ago, this image could have been used as I decided which hair style to don. Chemo made me bald. Most of the time I preferred not to put anything on my head because hot flashes were intense. Head coverings simply made it unbearable. Scarves and hats were my staple until I returned to work. Then, I really wanted to look less like a cancer patient and just blend in. Wigs gave me license to be playful in a way I had never been with my hair in the past. I bought long, short; dark and light auburn; brunette. NEVER blond. Not that I didn't try it out. I looked washed out and terrible. My natural hue is salt and pepper. There was consideration given to sporting that shade, but why? Why not be adventurous? After what I had en...

Hello, 2014! Welcome to my life. You bring with you the promise of clean pages on which to write. I won't leave the old chapters behind, but it is time for a new book to be written. A new saga in a series. In general, grand resolutions aren't made in the house of Riss. However, seeing it as a marker for a new start suits me. Making promises and not keeping them seems foolish. Why not adopt something that will bring enlightenment and joy? As I said in yesterday's post, I am ready to take a chance again. Throw some caution to the wind and let my heart soar instead of being sore. Who's with me? Anybody wanna jump on the new attitude train? I was going to say the Riss-train, but that would some how be turned into a perverse notion and the next thing you know invitations to partake in a human centipede would arrive. Yeesh. As part of my new attitude campaign, the look of this blog has changed. It is a tad spiffier and spruced up. We've parted ways with th...

Dear Pixar: As always, I am behind on watching movies. Ever since my son hit puberty we aren't as prone to racing to the theater to see your movies. He's into fart humor flicks and action/adventures. So, this morning I was flipping through the 100s of channels offered up and stumbled upon your film BRAVE .  Since I had not seen it and nothing else piqued my interest, I opted to view. First off, let me applaud the design of the wild haired Merida. It's clear in the very beginning she is not the usual 'live in a shiny castle upon the hill' sort of princess. Secondly, it was refreshing that none of the first born males of the other clans were strapping, handsome warrior sorts with the heart of gold. You almost always throw some stud in the mix that the wild eyed princess fawns over completely losing sight of her identity. Again, thank you. Thirdly, encouragement from the father to remain independent reminds me a lot of my own relationship with my dad. My mom,...

"The Wedding Singer" presented by our community theater ( kvta.org ) came and went without so much as a blog post from me. Why? Well, I was preoccupied with work, rehearsals, social-life. Wait, what? Did you just read social-life? Indeed you did. Now, don't get too excited thinking I found me a may-un. No, no. What resulted from being in a musical production of the movie by the same name is friendships. Say that one more time. Friendship. Local. Easily accessible. Let's back up a little bit because the performances of "The Wedding Singer" deserve some attention. I had the best time performing on a stage where my high school days were spent. Additionally, my son and niece were also in the show. Our little winter production even received a review from the newspaper. That hasn't happened in a long time. See, this presentation didn't come without some controversy. The Daily Journal called us "racy but worthwhile." Yep. For this theater gr...

As part of a promise to myself and coaching through Beachbody, I partake in daily personal development.  It might be viewing a Joel Osteen clip on youtube, reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen or, more recently, listening to a Dr. Wayne Dyer audio book to and from work in my car. Now, this may not be something any one of you reading this finds interesting.  Some of you may think my choice of authors/orators is bumpkiss and foolishness.  But guess what? I take away with it what is useful to me toward improving myself inside -- the outside will follow suit as I continue on the path of having a love affair with moi. There is one particular passage that has stuck with me as I listened to Wayne Dyer discuss what it is that makes him do what he does in his lectures and seminars.  What persuades him unknowingly to take on projects.  Motivation is an external force while inspiration is an internal force. Motivation is focusing on the external – a goal, an outcome...

This is it! Once again this girl is on her way to improved health and fitness!! Aren't you just thrilled for me? I could use some back up to hold me accountable through the holidays.  The tab labeled "join my team" is calling out to you. Anyway, back in the swing of things with my workouts. On Team Beachbody there's a schedule for the workout program that I am using --  TURBO FIRE.  When I log into the WOWY Supergym, it tells me which dvd to use.  The rest is up to me.  Plus, each time I log into WOWY I'm entered for a chance to win cash or prizes.  No longer am I doggin' it and taking the easy way out.  My mind tells me I can jump and tuck so my feet and legs do it. Kind of. I mean, I'm not four feet off the ground with my knees under my chin, but I DO leave the ground. Today is the renewal of eating well.  That is harder than a marathon series of sumo burpees.  Focus is my champion right now.  To further motivate me I'm turning t...

It's rather cliche' to say that I'm a work in progress.  Aren't we all? Sure, yours truly needs a lot more work than the average gal.  At least when I look in the mirror that is the resounding affirmation.  It's not my appearance, though that is part of it.  It's what goes on beneath my thinning mix of gray and brown locks.  The other day I posed a question on my Facebook wall about online dating site. So, who out there has found a decent human being to date through an online dating service? My curiosity is for .. uh, research. Yeah, that's it. If you're a long time reader of this blog then you know of the dating woes I've experienced at the hand of Match.com and eHarmony, as well as, meeting men the traditional way.  What came of that question in the thread was an unraveling of Marissa.  What was even more surprising (to me) was an outpouring of compassion, reassurance and thoughtfulness.  What I learned is that I don't see in myself what o...

The title of this post is a comment that a friend sent to me on Facebook. I started a Marissology fan page and sent out invites for people to join. I suspect this friend saw new photos of me. The play on words caused me to laugh my ever decreasing tushy off. I won't call him out on it since he did send his thoughts in a private message, but it was just too cute for words not to share. I do havesome BIG! Ginormous!! HUGE-GANTIC!! news to share. Kind of ironic considering the gargantuan news is about something getting smaller.  Yes, another weight loss update. *cartwheel* Today, August 29, 2010 I stepped up on the scale to have it remain for a week solid on ....... never mind the number.  It tells me that I have lost FORTY POUNDS of back fat, booty slap, jiggling cottage cheese and BINGO! wings since my decision to get healthy began with three shakes a day for 3 days with Shakeology on the 3-day Cleanse. It has not been easy.  There is absolutely no sense in tryi...

Friday night was a blast!  The weather cooperated as a small group of us laughed our asses off around the fire pit at Julie B's Backyard Tiki Lounge.   I'd go into detail but not I'm not willing to risk incriminating the slightly inebriated (they know who they are).  The camera was left in my purse.  The flash of a digital camera just breaks up the flow anyway.  It was totally bitchin' to get to yap some classmates I hadn't seen in forever! One of the best moments was delivering a letter and photo that had been sitting on my desk for over a month.  The photo was proof that when a bunch of football playing high schoolers get together for camp, it's not just about bashing opponents and talking about hot girls.  Although, I'm sure some of that did happen ... but a moment in time was captured on film that spoke volumes about camaraderie. The weekend isn't over.  A long weekend, at that, for most.  I get today off and that's it. So, someone else...

I have to admit that it was a little intimidating at first. I had absolutely no idea what to do with what had been put before me. Fortunately, my handsome date was more than willing to guide me in proper handling.  The most difficult part was getting it to my mouth without making a mess all over myself.  My hand eye coordination is usually spot on, but I'd had a little wine and it went straight to my head ... not to mention the mere presence of the charming man was quite intoxicating in and of itself.  Oh, and he smelled absolutely delicious. He promised what I was about to devour would send me over the moon and into a near orgasmic state, but to be wary of too much wasabi on the first bite.  It would certainly clear out my sinuses. Sushi.  Ever since that first mouthful I have craved it.  They aren't lying when they say it is edible art.  Gorgeous, but not so much that it didn't stop me from filling my gullet.  It shocked me how filling it is....

Yep. Spring forward. Blech. I always get so messed up when we have time changes. I can't understand how people who travel to and from different time zones don't lose their minds. Typically turning the clocks ahead one hour doesn't bother me unless I work that Sunday. Which, tomorrow, I do. Blech. I said that already. At least I'm working with someone who makes me laugh my tushy off even when we're stressed and pissy. The clocks and time aren't the only things on the horizon that are changing.  I am.My thoughts about my health are so different then they were two weeks ago. I don't understand it, but there's no question that I'm embracing it. When I awoke today, I didn't sit down at the computer and lolly-gag until I needed to shower and get ready for work.  Instead, I worked out on the Wii. More proof that old habits are fading as new ones replace them. Pizza from Papa John's was purchased for the employees.  I love, LOVE that pizza an...

Yes, weigh! After three days on the Shakeology cleanse, my weight lost total is SIX AND A HALF POUNDS . I'm feeling quite well and energetic today. Most of the cleansing plans I've read about advise participants not to do anything strenuous. Also, they caution not to be too far away from a bathroom. One actually suggested wearing dark pants and carry a change of clothes in case of an accident (eww).That is not the case of Shakeology. In fact, it's not a gastrointestinal attack or cleanse of that nature. It's a whole body cleansing of toxins built up from all the funky crap I was putting in my body only days ago. Because I don't work until later today, there was plenty of time to do some much needed housework.  A week ago I might have returned to bed or passed out on the couch while watching some nutty, craptacular programming on the telly.  But something strange had over come me -- energy.  I wanted to move and do stuff that didn't involve stuffing food in m...

One thing people should never ask me is where my thoughts come from. Sometimes crazy stuff just pops into my head and blurt! My internal filter often malfunctions. Without asking for opinion, I do believe I'm getting better at biting my lip. With that being said, here are some random thoughts that jumped into my head thus far today: Valentine's Day is coming up. Should I bother shaving my legs? The whites of these organic eggs look vaguely familiar...are we sure they aren't orgasmic eggs? Why are the hairs on my chin course and whiter than white? Why do I change the ring tones on my phone? They are rarely utilized. Did I really babble and giggle for 1.5 hours? I should write a note of apology Man! My hands are really ugly Oh bloody hell! Someone needs to suck up the imposter lady bug carcasses. I wish I was cooler than being cool. Pretty brides in pretty dresses. Bitches. If I could fly I'd be there for lunch. There you have it. Perhaps I should keep jou...

Life is good, love is grand and the world is a wonderful place to be. One of you has finally gotten up the courage to mention exactly how you feel and the other has responded with an enthusiastic 'me too!' There's no catch, either. For the next few days, if not weeks, you'll be right on top of the world -- and when you're happy, everybody's happy! Be sure to spread the good feelings around. It's only fair. That's my horriblescope for today. The 'you' portion is crystal clear, but is the 'other'? Do ya? Do ya love me, huh? Stopping reading these things would be most advisable, no doubt.  One thing speaks volumes in all the babbling from the heavens: " When you're happy, everybody's happy! "  Truer words never spoken. Just ask my coworkers and they'll confirm this. The concept of me sharing these good feelings by way of spreading them around has me concerned. If I'm feeling good and happy then, by association, ...

Please accept my apologies.  I've not been diligent about writing. Sometimes the mood just doesn't strike. How other people write daily is beyond me.  To those of you who check my little corner in the blogosphere for new material, I am dutiful sorry for my absence.  It will happen again so I won't make empty promises I cannot keep. With that being said, my creativity is still lacking.  Blame the bitter cold.  In the thirty minutes that I've been at my computer the temperature has actually dropped two degrees.  Currently we have a reading of -11°F.  Yes, that is a negative sign sitting arrogantly in front of the eleven.  I walked to the post office and little grocer yesterday. I thought it was foolish to warm up the car for just a 2 block hop, skip and a jump.  My tushy, in spite of all the blubber layering, didn't manage to lose the chill for a couple hours. What's really shocking is that my fingers and toes didn't lose circulation and turn...

The people you encounter today are going to love loving you. Everyone who thinks you're cool is ready and raring to let you know it. Accept compliments graciously, because you'll get lots of them. But try not to let it go to your head. Vanity is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, but it's something to indulge in with careful consideration . There you have it.  My horoscope for today.  I read it after making the following video.  Y'all know what you're obligated to do now.  Hey, we can't go upsetting the stars and proving them wrong, now, can we? We, of course, being you :) I'm graciously awaiting

Listen to your heart closely today, because it's going to alert you to a new romance or love opportunity. This might not involve romance in the terms of a significant other -- it could very well mean that more romantic ideas and concepts are becoming more prominent in your life. But either way, you should keep yourself open to new opportunities and do whatever you can to honor a recent commitment you made with someone you have known for a very long time. ....and right before Halloween. Maybe this would be more appropriate on April 1.  For as long as you've all known/read me, you've probably gathered that I am a hopeful sort.  While I get discouraged and over-think e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, I still keep the faith that one day my time will come to have all the warm fuzzy feelings of romance and not find them skipping town at the first notion of me reciprocating. I don't like being toyed with.  For sure there are people who get a thrill from that cat and mouse game.  I d...

Growing up the youngest in a family of eight kids left ample opportunity for someone else to do things for me. I had brothers and sisters who taught me to tie my shoes,cheer me on when I learned to ride a bike (that was an all neighborhood affair)and learn my multiplication tables. It is family urban legend that not only my siblings were involved in naming me, but also the neighbor kids.  Throughout childhood someone always had my back.  Plenty of free reign was given and I ran wild in the 'hood with my posse of Big Wheel riders. But someone always had a close eye on our whereabouts. As maturity increased it was only natural that I'd learn self reliance.  Mistakes were made along the way. Human nature is defined by such.  When my mother passed away in '81, maturity had to speed up.  Without digging through the trunk of broken dreams, I moved in with my Maureen who is 10 years older.  Though she didn't make much money, we managed miraculously.  I wasn...