Rapier's Wit

The approach of Father's Day always gets me thinking. For one, it makes me miss my own father very much (he died in '99). That was the same year I went through my divorce. We were 800 miles away from the nearest family and I had to go through it without my rock, my father. You can tell me he was and always has been with me in spirit but those are just empty words when all one truly needs is to have the presence in human form of the embodiment of unconditional love. He wasn't a man of many words despite his articles in The Kankakee Journal's Voice of the People and other various publications. When it came to his kids, his thoughts were many, but his words profound and few. Our relationship hadn't always been ideal. As a little girl, I was undoubtedly his baby. The last born of the brood he had with my mother, he seemed determined to do right by me. We had a special bond. Then, when my mother passed away in '81, it was quickly severed and we hit years of rough...

I have been working too much.  That fact became glaringly obvious yesterday evening.  It's ridiculous that my son has suffered the consequences of the shortcomings of my work place and I have to fix it.  Tuesday brought me a day off. Finally.  I'd worked 8 days straight with the majority of those days keeping me away from home due to working until closing (9 PM). Mancub and I haven't spent much quantity or quality time together.  He sees that I am stressing.  He's not a selfish boy. He's compassionate and due to that, he has spared me any additional stress. Or so he thinks that is what he's doing.  But last night all that he's bottled up came to a head and he let out how much he hates his school and the kids that inhabit it.  He's a big kid, but a gentle giant. He's easily upset by rude remarks.  They know it and pick at him.  His efforts to ignore it are often futile.  The beasts know if they keep at him he will eventually displa...

"The essence of love begins when infatuation ends." ~ Unknown As elementary school children, we develop likes for boys or girls. When it's unrequited these likes are referred to as crushes. Or, when the other person is unaware of your affections it's a crush or secret crush. Unfortunately, as we age, the premise doesn't change. Oh, we might have more courage in expressing ourselves, but the bottom line it's downright frightening to embark upon the unknown and risk having your heart torn to shreds. "The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned." ~ Somerset Maugham When I was married, I'd get crushes on his friends, male acquaintances, or co-workers. The expectation was that the lines of decency would never be crossed. After all, what might the point be? I surmise that their flirtation and attention filled a void. Had I accepted or invited their advances, it would create a seriously disturbing situation. I admit that in the bac...

( part 1 , part 2 , part 3 of Ah-Dumb) Ah-Dumb dropped a big bomb on me. Naturally, I wasn't going to just roll over and take such a pathetic email to end things. I called him and he was patronizing and rude. When I asked what made him think an email would suffice. How RUDE! He had the audacity to chortle at my ' inability to be mature and accept the nature of things ." Yes, he said that. I erupted! That didn't help my cause any. I reminded him that I was counting on him to help me move the washer and dryer from my ex-husband's residence to mine. He said he'd still do that since he knew I needed the units so I could stop wasting money at the laundromat. Plus, I'll admit I was making a desperate attempt at seeing him again. I've never managed to keep a man with my wiley and feminine ways. I'm too earnest for such antics. I would, however, not stoop to trying to seduce him and leave him hanging cold. He'd shared that he wouldn't see his prefe...

( part 1 & part 2 of Ah-Dumb ) Adam and I talked that night about our hopes and dreams. We discussed how well we got along. He spoke of kismet. My heart swelled that such a lovely man could possibly be falling for me. We made plans to see each other the following day. In that conversation we discussed my house ware needs. When I divorced I left behind many things. I took what was mine. I took what my son required. Adam wanted to help me rebuild what I had lost. I needed a vacuum (I borrowed a friend's.) I needed a dinette. I needed a washer and dryer. I had those to take at my ex-husband's home, but transporting them couldn't be done without assistance. The following morning Adam called requesting my presence at the local Super K-Mart. He stated that he knew it wasn't high end goods, but it was a start. I happily complied and met him and his little girl. We had a fun time while we looked for bargains that would help me make my home more homey. Dining table sets wer...

part one of Ah-Dumb Day 3 November 3 There I stood on my porch in astonishment of the gifts bestowed upon me. Adam, his toddler and I adjourned to my living room. It was clear she wasn't sure what to make of what to make of me or this new surrounding. She plopped herself in the safety of her father's lap as we sat on the floor. He grabbed the bag he brought in and one by one started handing small tokens to me with explanations of why he wanted me to have them. First, was a box of chocolate covered cherries. He remembered me saying how much I loved them, but they were such a rich indulgence. Second, a pair of silver drop earrings. They were simple and perfect for everyday. He thought they'd be ideal and not get in the way when he nuzzled my neck. Third was a book. "365 Days of Kisses." He inscribed the inside front cover. "Let's work our way through this -- Ah-Dumb." It goes without saying that I was immediately smitten. Oh yes, I was deep in smit! Th...

National Blog Posting Month . I'm participating. I figure it'll be a challenge. The challenge for me is remembering that I signed on to do it. OY! I'm not going to post everything I write there on here, but I am going to share with you a very short lived saga of Ah-Dumb. Here's how the memory of this man came to coincide with NaBloPoMo. I must stress that I am a bit wiser regarding dating ...particularly those men I've met on the Internet. DAY ONE November 1 I wasn't sure if I wanted to join in on this phenomenon called NaBloPoMo. I'm not one who lives up to committments to non-living things. When it comes to writing on my blog I consider myself whimsical. I don't plot out what I'm going to do daily. I write by inspiration. I've gone countless days without putting up a post. I like being unpredictable in my writing because I'm so predictable in my daily life. This will most certainly be a challenge. When I awoke this morning I had someone o...

Hi there. I have no idea what to make of anything in my personal life. I keep praying I'll maintain patience. And when patience doesn't pay off with dividends I find palatable, I pray I'll have keen understanding and solace. I'm still back at square one with Alton. Actually, I don't even think we're on square one. If this was a board game we'd probably be sitting on the "do not pass" square while awaiting the spinner to land on "1" -- at least I'm waiting for a move that is minuscule, but will be wildly significant. We still talk. As of late, it's been my doing. I've made the call. On Saturday I chucked caution and called the cell phone that he got because of my influence. Directly to voice mail. UGH! I left a babbling message fitting for my reputation. "Marissa Randomosity" as he's coined it. The very randomosity he finds/found endearing and charming. Once I hung up, I gave myself permission to call him at work...

First let me apologize for the lapse in posts. If you were rabidly awaiting Alton updates, I'm sorry. I thought it'd be dreadfully boring to report hand holding and smooching. Things with Alton were going along quite swimmingly. He's a wonderful man. He's the most consistent and considerate man I've dated. Ever. I swear it. Naturally that made me giddy. I had to force myself to contain my excitement. I didn't to scare the poor man away. After all, it had been a month! That's longer than anyone else ever made it since 2001. Whoa! This was monumental and newsworthy, but you know me. When it comes to dating, I'm a skeert little kitten in a den of voracious Dobermans. Even though he'd shared that my randomness and expressive joy was charming to him, I still had misgivings about really letting it all hang out. I admit that to those who do not know me (and even to those who do) I can be a bit overwhelming. My sister's Kris tells me I remind her of Barb...

The fellow that was nicknamed Sum Yung Guy will be changed to Alton as it better suits him and doesn't remind readers of the skeevy joke with Sum Yung Guy in the punchline. Due to the events leading up to my sister's surgery I have been derailed about discussing my personal life as it relates to dating. I hope this blog post will be an entertaining means of catching up. Alton and I went out for the first time on August 15. We dined at a local steakery and then headed over to the 2nd Annual Bishop MacNamara High School Mac-Bash. This is a fund-raiser/welcome to the new school year party and the entire community was invited. Live music was enough of a lure for us. A good time was had while we people watched and continued to talk about anything and everything under the beer tent. Since Alton isn't from Kankakee, I acted as chauffeur. I handed him my iPod and let him choose the music for the drive over. He selected my 80s music playlist. He so scored points with that. Once the ...

I am in need of whimsy due to a call that I received at 3:11 p.m. central time. It's a call that I knew would come, but didn't want to take. However, avoiding the necessary wouldn't be prudent. The Asshat formerly known as Running Man (or Cute Tushy if you follow my plurks) made the error of darkening my Verizon doorstep. I haven't talked to him since July 27. He called and quickly ended the conversation with an abrupt "gotta go! can't talk. I'll talk to you later." And before I could get out the word 'bye' he was gone. At that time I shut my pink Razr phone with disbelief and irritation. A few other expletives followed; muttered under my breath. We'd hardly talked that entire week prior and no word would follow until ... ... August 1 at 11:39 p.m. a familiar chime came over the phone. I jumped with hopes it was a friend texting me from the Regeneration Tour Concert in Las Vegas. My heart fell seeing it was from Asshat Running Man (ARM from...

I'm a realist. I've said it before. I'll say it again. I'm a realist. I know a red flag when I see it. I recognize the sting as it bitch slaps me across the face. The laundromance hit a spin cycle that can only get out of control. For the sake of protecting myself I will not go into details. However, I know when I'm not compatible with a person. I'll cite lifestyle as the cause for hanging this romance out to dry. I am not an authority on relationships. Nor do I fully understand the proper protocol for dating. Perhaps there isn't a rule book. I have never been inclined to play by anyone's rules. I make them up as I go. However, I do have a stern set of expectations. I know what I need. And what I don't need is for someone create drama for me. What I don't need is to get lectured on maturity. What I don't need is for someone to change their demeanor on a dime. That all being said, you can all return to your regularly scheduled programming. T...

"You deserve to be happy." Those are the words my 13, soon to be 14 year old son said to me last night. We'd taken a walk to the post office and, like usual, I took that quiet setting as a time to discuss important matters with Man-cub. We'd been strolling along and I asked him how this new man entering my life made him feel. I stress that it's important for us to be open and that I will not dismiss his concerns. It's been many years since I've dated or met someone whom I felt strongly about. Moreso, worthy of being in the presence of my child. The conversation went something like this: Me: "So, I spoke with Running Man today. He asked how we were enjoying my day off." MC: "You talk to him a lot. I think you really like him. He seems like a nice guy." Me: "Do you feel OK about that? I know it's out of the blue for you. We did, after all, just meet. So, we're getting to know each other. " MC: "Yeah. I...

"Re-entry into earth's atmosphere is complete ... welcome back to reality" In case you're wondering, that's what the voices in my head told me this morning. I'm back from outer space. My head has become one with my body and is no longer out in the stratosphere of googily eyes and puppy dog's wagging tail. Regardless of all the flattery and warm fuzzy feelings meeting Running Man brought me, I know that I can't stay in that 'head in the clouds' mental state. I am a realist. I can't let myself get too wrapped up in the romance of being wooed. It sucks to be me, but that's how I roll. We had a lot of walking and talking at our disposal over the past weekend. It was fantastic. I felt a protection and comfort that is strange to me. And because that overwhelming feeling of just letting go came over me, I needed a serious sit-down-firm-get-a-grip talk with myself. As I lie in my bed awake last night these words flew from my mouth: SNAP OUT OF ...

Today's forecast: Brilliant. Extremely perfect. Nary a cloud in the blue sky. The temperature; ideal. Breezy, but far from windy. I couldn't have selected better weather that exemplifies my mental state. Yesterday evening, Running Man and I managed to get together for a couple of hours. It wasn't formal or pretentious. We met at a local park that is situated along the Kankakee River. It's the place where I spent many days as a child. Numerous things have changed since I took to the swings like soaring bird, but one thing has remained: Sunsets are glorious along the river. All the homes with their unique architecture are new to Running Man. He's fascinated with the very things I saw as a little girl. I shared stories about walking to the park and finding new friends and being occupied with the limitless activities offered to kids on summer break. That was then. Now, the homes are hit or miss with care. Yet, with new eyes he manages to see what's beneath the peeli...

People tell me to enjoy the ride while it lasts. I get a little agitated because who says the ride is going to end? I prefer to be less of a pessimist. I want to be optimistic and live for the day. I can do that. It's my heart. If you tell me to save up my pennies for a rainy day, then I need to think to the future. I know most people are well intentioned, but I just met Running Man and already I'm getting opposition. I've not requested a transcript of his entire past; nor, insisted on viewing his financial records. I pray he never ask for mine. It's a mess. What I do know is that we've spent over 10 cumulative hours talking. Talking about life, hopes and dreams. I am unsure of his favorite musician, movie or book. He doesn't know my favorite color or shoe size. I do know that he's a God fearing man. He knows that my son's well being is of utmost importance and will never take a back seat to my own pursuits. Man-cub will always ride shot-gun with me. Run...

This is the continuation of the blog down yonder. Just scroll a little. If you've not read about my laundromat liaison, you must read the previous post before going further with this one. If you have read Tales From the Spin Cycle, then you're fully aware that I met a guy at the laundorama. You'll also be privy to the fact that his blog moniker is Running Man. In addition, you're in the know that I possess his phone number. Being completely void of calling protocol when given a number aka digits aka the proverbial ball, I had to consult the great and mighty pals at plurk.com. Their advice was unanimous: Call! Now! Don't wait! No games! So, you're saying I should wait a couple days? I'm thick as a brick. (Jethro Tull, thank you very much) I didn't call him Sunday. I was struck with panic: What if it's a fake number? What's the chance he won't remember me? What if, if, if!? Monday at work I asked one solitary male co-worker how long a woman o...

Sunday is typically my day to do laundry. I get up pretty early, make coffee, check emails, visit a couple favorite blogs. Then, I load up the car and head out to the laundromat with hopes of getting there before anyone else does. I like the solitude of me and nothing but the the hum of the washers and dryers. My only companion is my trusty iPod Nano. Once in awhile the owner or his in-laws will be there to clean up the joint, collect money from the machines, etc... I've explained in a previous post that I rent a house that isn't equipped with a washer and dryer. I could buy a used set, but the water pressure here is so pathetic that it's a challenge to rinse shampoo and conditioner from my hair daily. Don't leave me yet. I promise this will get better. The good stuff is coming. Just be patient and let me set the scene. It's crucial! Sunday, July 6, 2008 my routine went askew. I woke up later than usual: 7:00 a.m. Instead of making coffee and bothering with my compu...