Rapier's Wit

I adore my Wednesdays. You may wonder why. Most people celebrate TGIF! FRI-YAY!! Fridays are okay, too. However, Wednesdays mean I am off work from the office. I get to sleep in (dogs willing). Easing into the day rather than racing to beat the clock. Wednesday means a cup of coffee tastes better because I can sip and enjoy it while watching WGN Morning News. I still have to go to work, but it is my day to work at the library. My happy workplace. As I have stated before, full-time status is not possible so I sought out employment elsewhere. Luckily, I managed to maintain my job at KPL (Kankakee Public Library). What makes it my happy place? The environment is unlike any other place I have worked. Positivity. A warm, welcoming staff. It possesses a culture unlike anywhere else. Treasuring hump-day has put many things in perspective. Still having to work yet finding myself relaxed and happy brought on an epiphany, if you will. I was presented with such contrasting work pl...

As reported on Facebook, my sleep has been filled with oddball, subconscious visions. WEIRD dreams, yo. It seemed a perfect blog topic. It could become a regular thing. If my dreams do not fulfill the spot I might suggest friends report their sleepy time oddities to me. Anonymity would be the name of the game, naturally. As for me, there's no shame in my game. Typically, my dreams aren't vivid. From time to time there will be one but recall is fleeting as I'm awakened by my 53 year old bladder. In an effort to quickly fall back to sleep once nature's call has been answered, I don't allow my brain to explore what had been experienced during nocturnal slumber. Weird dream #1: In this dream I was dating one of my favorite characters from my absolute favorite television program: Schitt's Creek. If you haven't seen it yet, but are a fan of Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara (Second City TV and Christopher Guest flick fame), you must find it. I watch it on P...

This post is from August 22, 2010! Man, what a difference 5 years makes. I've been through a lot in that time. One major change is that ... well, the change has occurred and the subject matter of the post below is moot. However, it is amusing to me all the same. I found it while looking through notes posted on Facebook. I didn't realize they existed anymore. I thought Facebook had done away with them long ago. Anyway, enjoy my ramblings about being 45 and facing hormonal changes. Also, enjoy my collar bones and singular chin in the photo to the left. I'd lost over 40 lbs. I'm mega fatter in comparison now. Sadness. Working on that again.  Right to the point: I'm a girl who has needed a check up from the neck up. Thumbing through the Yellow Pages for a shrink isn't what is inferred. Although, that would probably do me a world of good. After all, there are plenty of reasons for the manner in which I act and react to situations in my life. Knee jerk reactions t...

Whoa! So much time between posts. What gives, man?  A quick synopsis: Cancer Chemo Radiation Scans Blood work No more cancer 50th birthday  The most earth shattering event ... we cancelled cable!! I'm also no longer strapped to a wireless contract. I know what freedom truly feels like, kids. Although, Netflix has me wrapped around its little finger. For a time, Amazon Prime streaming held me in its grasp. Rather than renew, I sweated through the withdrawals ... or was that menopause? Anyway, Netflix provides us with plenty of entertainment. Cutting the cord was not nearly as traumatic as I had always pictured it being.  When I called the demon company to cancel I was prepared for battle. If you ever had an AOL account and tried to end the relationship you know what I am talking about. You get passed from automated message to automated message that declares you're next to be helped. Then, a human being answers. However, you press 1 out of habit and accidentally...

A week and a half ago I awoke with pain in my jaw. More specifically, my tooth. This particular tooth has a crown, which by no means equals royalty of the molar world. In the past it has given me a bit of issue, but nothing alarming. X-rays would indicate it was just me clenching my jaw when I slept.In the past, my dentist would readjust it to suit my goofy bite. So, my chemotherapy treatments are scheduled on Wednesdays. Every Wednesday. The treatment I was due to receive is what I call the mega-dyna-whoppin' treatment. That one packs a wallop. Before getting that treatment blood work is done and I meet with my oncologist or nurse practitioner to have vitals checked and to discuss the blood work results. If the stars are aligned then treatment is a go. Sadly, my platelets were not high enough to safely deliver the infusion. So, it had to be postponed. The lighter of the treatments was given with hopes the following week my platelets would be higher. Enter funky tooth. A visit ...

Hello, 2014! Welcome to my life. You bring with you the promise of clean pages on which to write. I won't leave the old chapters behind, but it is time for a new book to be written. A new saga in a series. In general, grand resolutions aren't made in the house of Riss. However, seeing it as a marker for a new start suits me. Making promises and not keeping them seems foolish. Why not adopt something that will bring enlightenment and joy? As I said in yesterday's post, I am ready to take a chance again. Throw some caution to the wind and let my heart soar instead of being sore. Who's with me? Anybody wanna jump on the new attitude train? I was going to say the Riss-train, but that would some how be turned into a perverse notion and the next thing you know invitations to partake in a human centipede would arrive. Yeesh. As part of my new attitude campaign, the look of this blog has changed. It is a tad spiffier and spruced up. We've parted ways with th...

The other night while babbling with a friend on the phone we segued into things that annoy us. Some stuff is personally unique while other items are likely commonplace irritants for many. Off the top of my head few things sprang to mind. As the days have marched on I managed to make a mental list.  Oh, you think Thanksgiving Day doesn't seem to be the right day of the year to voice those little things that eat away at me? Ask yourself for as long as you've known me have you seen me follow the typical path? When everyone else is posting heartfelt, earnest posts, I want it to be known that I'm different. If that irks you... oops. You are reading the wrong blog. OK. Shall we commence with the Rissues list of November 2013? Whispering in movies and commercials. I don't know what it is, but it makes me ears bleed... and mother like son. It drives Mancub mad, too. Couples who share a Facebook, social network, email account. You never know which one of them ...

Yep. When I choose a wine, the label had better be interesting. My good friend chooses wine similarly. His boyfriend confirms that the contents could be skunk piss, but as long as the bottle is interesting he will buy it. A few years ago, before I could afford cable and internet, we frequented the library. My driver's license had an address within the public library district and I was able to obtain a card at no charge. Now, I have to fork over nearly $200. per year because I live outside city limits. OK, sorry. Distracted by detail. Prior to cable and internet I checked out dozens of books per month. Chick lit mostly because all I wanted was to be entertained. Perusing the shelves looking for specific titles and authors didn't do the trick. Not being an avid reader, I had no favorites and Danielle Steel no longer did the trick. So, with that in mind and knowing all I needed was lightweight smut and girly adventure, I sought out pink and purple stereotypical feminine ...

The other day I questioned why this blog sits empty more and more. Then, it hit me. Twitter and Facebook. You see, what used to be the topics of babbling on the blog have become 140 character mind bytes. Then, if those meandering thoughts and opinions strike a chord or nerve with those who read them, they'll comment, like or just ignore. Immediate gratification. I tweet it. Boom!  The thoughts and ideas vamoose leaving me with nothing else to say... well, nothing more than 140 characters. I miss this. You know, putting words together to form sentences that create paragraphs. Sure, my grammar is often questionable. The good news for me is that I don't give a shit. HA! The good news for you is that I know the majority of lessons we learned in primary school. Do not request that I diagram a sentence. We learned that in 8th grade when I had a language arts teacher nicknamed Bubbles. The hormonally charged class spent so much time psychologically tormenting the extremely sensi...

If you've been stalk following me for more than a year, then you know I had some issues with my left leg. Wait, did I blog about that horrible experience or did I manage to keep it to myself? I keep very little about my life to myself. What I mean is that I may have only reported the ugliness on Facebook. OK. In March of 2012 a funky bump appeared on my lower left leg. I, being stupid, picked at it. Despite bandaging, treating it with triple antibiotic cream etc... the damned thing would not heal. After 2 months of that nonsense I sought out WebMd. (You thought I was going to say medical treatment, didn't you?) There was a myriad of possibilities and I treated the wound accordingly. From soaking it with apple cider vinegar to coating it with hydrogen peroxide, it only got worse. Surprise! Hey, I wanted a homeopathic remedy. In the long run it was foolish. Don't you dare wag your finger at me. When our vacation to California was quickly approaching, I made haste, fina...

It's on my head. The gray matter. Not surprising to some of you who know me. No, not my brain or manner of thinking. Although, there are days I wonder how I manage to get my underpants on without falling over. Anywho ... In July of 2012 I decided that coloring my hair every four weeks to hide the silver roots sprouting forth was far too much. Hated it! Loathed the cost even more and that was with box color. L'Oreal 'cos I'm worth it and all that jazz. My dearest friend had taken me to a Chicago salon for color correction because box color and my lack of knowledge really botched up the roots. Those bright red roots were not intentional During the voodoo this adorable young man had to perform to bring me to a more natural state, he insisted that I never do box color again! I promised. The salon maintenance does not agree with my meager pay. What's a poor single mama to do? Go natural. After months of explaining that I wasn't failing in touching up my roo...

What else is there to do on the day after Mother's day other than video blogging? I could have written some things down ... earnest things ... but the mood wasn't there. Instead, I give you the following. I felt redemption was in order regarding my aesthetic in the above video. Just watch and I explain. Sort of. Kinda

"Things will go wrong at times. You can't always control your attitude, approach, and response. Your options are to complain or to look ahead and figure out how to make the situation better" — Tony Dungy

When I first started recording video to post on this blog I used a webcam.  A cheap one at that. The resolution was awful. In a moment my rosy complexion would turn Yoda green.  Then, I bought a digital camera that also had video capabilities. Unfortunately, natural lighting is required as the flash isn't steady when filming.  Recently, I adopted a Droid.  Sure, I could read the manual from cover to cover and watch the handy dvd that came with it, but why do that when I can sit for hours tinkering with it and getting utterly frustrated. Only at that moment do I consult the manual... or the 22 year old who works for me.  The Droid has a cam-corder app.  Seeing that thrilled me to pieces! Plus, there's lighting! The quality isn't too bad once I figured out how to adjust brightness. Prior to that my face was so illuminated that my nose literally vanished off my face.  Trust me, with my honker that is no small feat.  The problem arose when I tried pos...

Ladies, let's face it! Being a woman is difficult in the realm of ... well, nearly everything when compared to men. That's particularly true when it comes to losing weight.  Difficulty goes up when you're a female over 40. Now I'm over 45 (just turned in August) and I read articles about the collection of belly blubber thanks to my ever decreasing estrogen levels.  Seriously, hormones can just suck it!! Hey, at least my libido is decreasing, right? With no applicable suitors hot on my tail, I guess that's a perk. Another downside of trying to lose a lot of weight at my age is that ye olde metabolism is ridiculously slow. Imagine Barney Fife trying to push a stalled Amtrak uphill while wearing stilettos. In the snow. Yes, it's laughable! Working out is my best defense partnered with eating right. It's ever apparent that, unlike my early to mid twenties, that doing 45 minutes of high impact aerobics four times a week and eating 'as usual' will not ...

Rissy is so spaced out.  Today has been nothing but a challenge for me to keep focused.  I have no idea what is going on in my head.  It would be easy to use allergies as a scape goat.  PMS has come and gone. So, that's a no go.  Besides, I read on the back of my tampon box that women are prone to heightened intelligence when they are menstruating.  TMI? Get over it. You're on my turf, baby. At work there was an overwhelming cacophony; stimulus overload. Several voices entwined with a new printer alarm, machinery being operated, phones ringing, fax machines tweeting and buzzing. Add that to the droning sounds of monotonous pop radio.  Egads! I wanted to scream at everyone in my path like Sister Mary Elephant.  Seriously. My pulse was racing. All I wanted to do was run.  RUN AWAY from all the noise and discord of the day.  This week has been emotional for me.  Apparently my status updates on Facebook had a couple of my friends co...

People often say to me, "Marissa, you're a fun girl. I bet you have a hellagood social life." Here's photographic evidence of my Friday night. "Best Friends Forever" -- Pinot Grigio et moi You love me. You really, really love me. Soon the numbness will set in Viewing life through Pinot colored glasses

The following is the remaining 2 minutes that wouldn't transfer in spite of how much work I put in to it... sheesh! OK, not that much work for someone who does video editing all the time. For a first timer it was tedious and frustrating. I hope you appreciate it.

Right to the point: I'm a girl who has needed a check up from the neck up. Thumbing through the Yellow Pages for a shrink isn't what is inferred. Although, that would probably do me a world of good. After all, there are plenty of reasons for the manner in which I act and react to situations in my life. Knee jerk reactions that often leaving me wishing I was someone else. Stop. The eight sided, fire engine red sign is held up in my mind. Maybe it is progress that I'm capable of catching my negative responses to even the simplest things. However ... you knew this was coming, right? This past week has been very trying. Why? Well, facing my increasing age is not something that weighs heavily on my mind.  Getting older means I'm still here on planet Earth.  Good, right? Yes, but as a woman it's often a battle of the hormones. Guys, this might be the point where you wince or stop reading.  It is your decision, but it could get graphic.  I'm writing this ...

Last night I slept peacefully after spending nearly four and a half hours floating on a raft on the lazy river at our local water attraction.  To answer inquiring minds, yes, I wore my sunscreen.  I'd fallen asleep in the recliner watching telly with Mancub.  I think I mosied upstairs around 10:30 and zonked out the second my head made contact with the Egyptian cotton. Anywho, it wasn't until I woke up at some point in the weewee hours of the morning that my sleep was disrupted. Mind you, it didn't take long for me to get back to sleep. Typically, I am up by 6AM.  At the latest, 6:30AM.  Not on this Saturday when clock in time at work was 9AM.  I awoke at 8AM!!! Holy alarm clocks, Batman! That's not the news.  What is even more odd than me sleeping in was the dream I had minutes before waking up startled by the time on the digital clock.  What I recall of the dream is that I was bestest friends with this young man . Click the link and come bac...