Rapier's Wit

A few months ago I landed on Wiki-How thanks to a link on Pinterest. As a result of that I began following Wiki-How on Twitter. Now and then, I click the link. There are some useful things and others are simple things that one might assume everyone knows how to do. For sake of experimentation and boredom, I searched what I think is the simplest thing on Earth to make: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Wiki-How did not disappoint. It has instructions complete with photographs. It, however, uses the wonkiest piece of bread they could find. I'd post the actual photo of said wackadoo slice of bread, but I'd probably be violating some copyright and I can't even afford to pay GoDaddy! to use my other blog let alone some legal fees to defend my intention to merely point fingers and laugh rather than steal. OK, this is the link to the Wiki-How to make a PB&J . Did you check it out? Scroll all the way down and they've added how to really jazz up your sandwich, as w...

Rather than being that little steam engine who chug-a-chug-a choo choos its way up the mountain and glides down when it reaches the other side, I blast full steam ahead into a new project.  What happens when you blow your wad of excitement and energy at the beginning of the race? You haven't anything left to finish it.  In school I was always great at sprints and hurdles in physical education.  It's surprising that ability never encouraged me to try out for the track team.  Long distance running was not my forte.  My life, in general, embraces a similar facet of junior high school P.E.  I get really passionate and excited about an endeavor only to not give a rat's ass about it just as I start to turn a corner.  There are literally three books and two audio books that were tapped into months ago and I've yet to finish them.  Short term goals and I get along famously. Another tid-bit about Miss Riss that I recognize is this: If progress isn't ap...

I haven't kept it a secret that my 45th birthday is approaching.  Yes, I'm still pushing for it to be a national holiday.  Hey! Lofty dreams aren't a crime.  It's a rarity for the scenarios that happen in my noggin to occur in real life. Therefore, I know I won't awaken to find a loin clothed hotty serving me breakfast in bed nor will that be followed with a chauffeured escort to a spa where I'll receive my first ever full body massage -- happy ending optional.  Instead, my day will consist of one known detail: I have to renew my driver's license. It didn't dawn on me until last night that this is the year it expires.  How often do you look at your state ID? The only reason my peepers got a look at mine is because I took it from its hermetically sealed entrapment in my wallet.  Why? Because, now don't laugh too hard, I was going out and thought some silly ass might card me.  Shut! UP! The signs behind the bars always say if you don't look 99 ...

Yesterday I lamented how it seems in the world of dating I am a poster child for Murphy's Law.  Thanks to the Internet, we're now (and have been) able to meet people around the globe.  No longer do we have to wait for happenstance to introduce us -- vacations, business trips, etc...Simply log on to a social network and the doors of hospitality open. It's a work in progress and who knows how it will all unfold. hmmm I wonder how I can incorporate a vacation with Mancub into the mix :)  Now, for the stupidstitious thing that left me with a smackerel feeling of angst.  Mancub and I went out for some low key retail therapy.  It's unusual for me to indulge in this sort of activity. In typical fashion, I spent the majority on the boy.  Target had some cool, vintage looking t-shirts. He selected Captain America and Ghostbusters shirts. I got a hypoallergenic eyeliner (woo! big spender) and stocked up on allergy meds and the like.  I'm a maniac!  In a...

I have to admit that I wish I had the inclination and ingenuity to invent an item that would earn me millions. From atop my pile of money I'd laugh with a hearty snort as I watched the fools purchase my idiotic yet ingenious product.  The SNUGGIE is one such item. Stop. It! Stop slobbering all over them and having parties and wearing them in public.  They are enormous, fleece hospital gowns. To those of you who piss and moan about pajama bottoms being worn as outer wear yet applaud the Snuggie, you should be ashamed. If you've purchased a Snuggie for yourself or a loved one (really, how much do you love them? What's next? Arsenic Lolli-pops?), you are to watch this video and follow their lead.  This is what happens when you succumb to the Snuggie phenomenon. Several news channels are putting these suckers to the test. The verdict? Other than the obvious, is that they need to be washed alone or everything in your wash and subsequent washes will be covered in the fuzz...

Both of my parents instilled in me the belief in miracles and angels.  My mother was more likely to tell me a story about a harrowing event in her life where her guardian angel protected her from harm. My father, on the other hand, was more philosophical in his telling of incidents that solidified his belief in a higher being.  Our family was loosely Catholic. Read: Lots of the guilt inducing practices and none of the church-going, sacramental requirements.  Regardless of the methods and theories taught, we were a spiritual clan with the ability to find reason and cause to why we were fortunate in the face of often dismal times. I recall as a little girl my mother telling me to always listen to the little voices in my head because that was my guardian angel giving me direction. "She knows better than you do. So don't ignore her."  In my child-like mind's eye, angels have always been filmy, beautiful, ethereal beings with wings and halos.  That is, after all, ...

Twenty-six and a half or so years ago I stood alone on a stage wearing a lovely costume while a spotlight shone upon me. My character, Helen, had finally come to grips with the fact that the subject of her affections would never be hers to have and to hold.  She gracefully accepts her fate and with morose resolve sings : I have wished before, I will wish no more. Love, look away! Love, look away from me. Fly, when you pass my door, Fly and get lost at sea. Call it a day. Love, let us say we're through. No good are you for me, No good am I for you. Wanting you so, I try too much. After you go, I cry too much. Love, look away. Lonely though I may be, Leave me and set me free, Look away, look away, look away... from... me. There's no psychotic outburst that one might see portrayed today.   Helen, dejected, walks away with only the memory of hope ... her head held high. Little did I realize when I was cast in that role that my own life would lead a ...