Rapier's Wit

Here I am noshing on a Honeycrisp apple. If you've never eaten one then you're truly missing out on one of nature's most delightful snacks. But that is not what this post is about.  Nope. I just wanted to explain the reason my keyboard is sticky -- an excuse for my typos, by the way. I worked all day and it wasn't until around 4:30 that I was struck with a serious case of the yawns.  My sleepiness can be blamed on staying up later than my usual 10:30 PM bedtime.  I know! Outrageous party animal am I!  It was around 12:30 AM when my phone was going dead for the second time. Obviously the cosmic gods were telling me to go to bed. You see, Saturday night brought some serious catch up with the best friend I've never met.  My house phone battery went belly up -- yes, I'm a weirdo with a land line. Immediately after that I grabbed my cell which had been charging.  I knew my Blondie gal in Cali and I had babbled and laughed for a few hours.  It wasn't unti...

In 1999 I found myself newly single and totally out of my element regarding dating. I'm not one of those girls who finds herself drowning in male suitors. I'm also inclined to have more male friends and acquaintances than female. Men do not fix up their chick friends with guys they know. It was once explained to me that guy friends don't do this because it will cause one of two things to happen (possibly both): 1. Should the female friend ever get drunk enough to have friendly sex with him , it surely won't happen if she's dating one of his friends. 2. If things don't work out, he might lose a really good friend or two. I sought out attention and possible dates via the Internet. I was broke and unwilling to pay to put my mug on a dating website. That left me trolling the AOL chat rooms. I had various screen names. I learned that having anything with sexy, hot, gr8, etc in your name was a sure fire exclamation from chat roomies yelling, err, typing in caps PICS? ...