Rapier's Wit

This looks nothing like my dental experience...the chair is all wrong Today was our sixth month cleaning at the dentist. The folks there always treat us as if they see us weekly. I don't know if they keep dossiers on their patients or they are just that good. Granted, we have been going to this particular dentist for quite a few years. Still, considering we only see him every six months or so, he remembers conversations we've had. That brings me to today's chat with the dentist. After the hygienist picked, flicked, flossed and polished my choppers, dentist extraordinaire came in asking if I was still doing the Beachbody thing. After referring to my pudginess with an uncomfortable chuckle, I told him no. See, we'd babbled between drilling and filling (and other dental things that might sound sexual), we discussed what was once my weight loss success. I guess when a person is stretched back in a chair with a light shining in their face, weight loss is noticeable.....

Dear Pixar: As always, I am behind on watching movies. Ever since my son hit puberty we aren't as prone to racing to the theater to see your movies. He's into fart humor flicks and action/adventures. So, this morning I was flipping through the 100s of channels offered up and stumbled upon your film BRAVE .  Since I had not seen it and nothing else piqued my interest, I opted to view. First off, let me applaud the design of the wild haired Merida. It's clear in the very beginning she is not the usual 'live in a shiny castle upon the hill' sort of princess. Secondly, it was refreshing that none of the first born males of the other clans were strapping, handsome warrior sorts with the heart of gold. You almost always throw some stud in the mix that the wild eyed princess fawns over completely losing sight of her identity. Again, thank you. Thirdly, encouragement from the father to remain independent reminds me a lot of my own relationship with my dad. My mom,...

No, that is not me misspelling a word in the title. It's a play on the phrase. Sheesh. The weather has been less than agreeable given that it is late Spring. Today, it was a brisk 53 〫 at a local arts festival. Celebrate strawberries and jazz. At least it is referred to as the Strawberry Jazz Festival. In rebellion against the weather as it was, I wore what would normally be appropriate for this time of year when the temperatures are usually in the upper 80s and sunshine would be baking my shoulders: A sundress and flip flops. My fingers and toes went numb, but damn it! I proved a point to Mother Nature while looking like a fool in comparison to those dressed for the cloudy, chilly weather. Bah. Who cares. I don't embrace fitting in anyway. There were many art and food vendors. We went specifically for the live entertainment. I should mention this is the first outing the boy has made since graduating. Oy. Even with the cloud cover I hope we got a good dose of Vitamin D. ...

Here I am noshing on a Honeycrisp apple. If you've never eaten one then you're truly missing out on one of nature's most delightful snacks. But that is not what this post is about.  Nope. I just wanted to explain the reason my keyboard is sticky -- an excuse for my typos, by the way. I worked all day and it wasn't until around 4:30 that I was struck with a serious case of the yawns.  My sleepiness can be blamed on staying up later than my usual 10:30 PM bedtime.  I know! Outrageous party animal am I!  It was around 12:30 AM when my phone was going dead for the second time. Obviously the cosmic gods were telling me to go to bed. You see, Saturday night brought some serious catch up with the best friend I've never met.  My house phone battery went belly up -- yes, I'm a weirdo with a land line. Immediately after that I grabbed my cell which had been charging.  I knew my Blondie gal in Cali and I had babbled and laughed for a few hours.  It wasn't unti...

The title of this post is nearly longer than the actual post itself.  When my friend Clark Brooks asked me to guest blog for him earlier this month I thought there was no possible way I could possibly fill in for him.  Clark is unique in his writing style.  That is intended as a form of flattery.  His ability to take what one might consider a mundane observation and turn it into an entire blog entry leaves me awe stricken.  Without a thought of what I'd write about, I sat here at my eight or more year old Dell computer handed down to me by the sister of a good friend when she got all fancy shmancy by upgrading to a Mac.  What transpired is pure gold.  It's as if the spirit of F. Scott Fitzgerald overcame me and my deep seated mental issues became my muse.  Please, go to Clark's blog, aptly titled, Ridiculously Inconsistent Trickle of Consciousness and read my entry.  But do not stop there. Peruse his other mindless ... err, well thought out...

A little over a week ago I received a phone call at work.  The voice on the other end offered me a promotion.  Out of left field and in a flash I became a manager.  It's pretty stinking cool because in the past there were some hoops to jump through in order to obtain a higher position. However, the powers that be can and will change the rules when necessary.  And this time I benefited from such a decision.  What's really surprising to me is how quickly my mind and focus shifted from " time to make the donuts " mentality to " what am I going to do today that will strengthen our team ?"  What's even better is my overall sense of purpose.  Finally, it feels like I can make a difference. With more energy being exerted on my career, I am actually able to focus better on the home front and declutter my life both physically and spiritually.  Now more than ever there's an empowerment toward being a living, breathing Wonder Woman . I truly feel it wa...

Morning comes too early for me on most days.  I go to bed at a reasonable hour mainly due to the fact that even if I turn in late, dawn breaks and pushes my tuchus out of bed regardless of how exhausted I may be.  It sucks.  On rare occasions sleep will resume after a trip to the bathroom, but those instances are much like trying to catch a shooting star.  You see, my brain clicks on with the light of day and I'm unable to shut it down. You could say my mind has a mind of its own.  And lately, I have had too much on my mind ... excessive amounts of what ifs and why nots. As I announced in my previous post, I have a young man staying with me for the majority of the summer.  He has family locally who are making plans with him, but Maison du Rissa is the base camp.  His comfort and happiness are partial contributors to my brain running on over time.  Giving him the unquestionable sense that he is welcome and loved is a priority.  He's still ad...

This summer is introducing Mancub and I to an entirely new experience.  Reporting that we're headed to Disney World or taking a long awaited holiday in Costa Rica would be ideal, but alas we're tethered to good ol' Kankakee for another vacationless season of humidity and mosquitoes.  What's new is that we're providing a homeland vacation spot for the son of my closest and dearest friend.  It's surreal to say the very least, much like my whirlwind reconnection with my prom date and object of deeply hidden affection.  Well, deeply hidden until the last few months.  It's one of those things that will likely never come to full fruition, but the friendship is undeniable.  I'm effed. You can go on and say it. Our adventure of the summer began with a trip to O'Hare International.  It is here where I'll mention my poor sense of direction (both figuratively and literally).  My friend Jen and her two daughters accompanied Mancub and me in the van graciou...

Oh, don't get your panties in a wad. I'm still me.  The wildhaired girl blood still pumps through my veins.  But it was time to take on a new moniker.  My world is ever expanding.  In fact, there will come a time when you may regard me as galactic! Not long ago I decided to take a leap and invest in myself.  I'm not certain at what point it hit me that my personal value warranted it, but taking care of my body became vital.  Sure, that's something we should all deem necessary, and quite frankly, a no-brainer. Unfortunately, not all of us do that and I was the grand marshal of the self-defeat; self-loathing; self-deprecating parade.  With that newly discovered sense of pride and good health came the decision to own my domain -- I'm the master of my domain !! Heh. " Wait a minute! " you might be yelling in your mind, " How in the hell do you go from changing to a healthy lifestyle to buying a domain name, weirdo!?"   I'll tell you -- I foun...

In popular music, a cover version, or simply cover, is a new rendition (performance or recording) of a previously recorded, commercially released song... Cover songs, in my opinion, should only be done if the artist is creative enough to maintain the integrity of the original but improve upon it. Most attempts are copy cat or diabolically atrocious. Case in point is the reason I am writing about this today.  I stumbled upon a Jonas Brothers' attempt at Aha's 'Take on Me." Really Joe, Kevin and Nick? I'm sure your fan base adore the invitation. Don't you love how the instrument playing brothers really rock out. Wooooo! Thrash that perfectly coiffed hair, boys. Some covers outshine the original.  The artists own it like they wrote it. The following examples are such endeavors. Naturally, this is just my opinion, but if you disagree I would appreciate you just shut yer pie hole.  Oh, I will fight you ... Katie Melua covers "Just Like Heaven" orig...

Life is good, love is grand and the world is a wonderful place to be. One of you has finally gotten up the courage to mention exactly how you feel and the other has responded with an enthusiastic 'me too!' There's no catch, either. For the next few days, if not weeks, you'll be right on top of the world -- and when you're happy, everybody's happy! Be sure to spread the good feelings around. It's only fair. That's my horriblescope for today. The 'you' portion is crystal clear, but is the 'other'? Do ya? Do ya love me, huh? Stopping reading these things would be most advisable, no doubt.  One thing speaks volumes in all the babbling from the heavens: " When you're happy, everybody's happy! "  Truer words never spoken. Just ask my coworkers and they'll confirm this. The concept of me sharing these good feelings by way of spreading them around has me concerned. If I'm feeling good and happy then, by association, ...

I've probably given the impression that I'm not a shop-a-holic. Finding styles that I like in my size isn't limited to bras. I'm tall and have plenty of junk in my trunk.  That combo makes finding really stylish clothing a hassle. But my dislike of shopping isn't limited to personal fashions.  What's involved in shopping is a lot of math. Meaning I deliberate thusly: I worked X number of hours to earn the money item Q costs. No item is alluring to me unless a deep discount is attached to it.  If I'm not going to get tons of use out of the item I usually pass it by.  Grocery shopping makes me break out in hives... Thank you ALDI for making this experience less itchy and scratchy. I'm big fan of shopping online. Quite often I can find items far less expensive than what's available in stores. I watch for FREE SHIPPING and easy returns.  A rush overcomes me when I get to the check out and it ask "do you have a coupon" -- and I DO!! But when ...

Hey! I stumbled across this while exploring my latest addiction : lala click the link on the player. Look me up and we can be friends. You know friiiiiieeeeeeends . Shy Boy - Katie Melua You might remember Katie Melua from an earlier post. She did a cover of The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" that, in my humble opinion, encompasses far more emotion than the original. It's just an opinion. Don't tar and feather me. There was a time in my life when I was drawn to bad boys. The hard to attain boys. The guys who made me jump through hoops for their attention. In other words, total asshats . Then, I married one. hahahahahaha OK, not really a laughing matter. He wasn't a bad boy. He was a do-whatever-I-want-to-boy; without-facing-consequence-boy. Believe it or not, I'm a shy girl when I truly want to pursue a relationship. I'm ballsy and forward when there are no stakes. Flirting without fear of rejection is second nature if I'm not being serious....

I sit here as the sunlight peeks through the slits on my mini-blinds that cover the bay window in my oh so humble abode.  There's a lovely autumn hue that coats my living room thanks to the sunshine casting light through the mighty maple in my front yard that has turned gloriously golden.  The days of bright sun and barely cloudy skies are limited in autumn; yet, I find myself loving the season for its crisp temperatures and smells.  My mind knows what will follow. Winter. The shortened days wreak havoc on my state of mind.  I try not to think ahead, but rather enjoy today. Here I sit.  The aroma of tonight's dinner from the crock pot fills my home.  The appliance is rarely if ever used during warm months.  But a chilly fall day calls for it.  I love the idea of managing a delicious meal for my son without doting in the kitchen.  I'm freed up to go out for a brisk walk with my camera in hand (before they turn numb).  I woke early ou...

Before you get all excited and look for pictures of the flowers, candies and stuffed animals hugging sateen hearts, I haven't changed my view about Sweetest Day (3rd Saturday of October -- this year Oct 17) because undying love and devotion were bestowed upon me by means of materials expressions of love.  That didn't happen, but I'm far less angsty over it because I was linked to the origins of Sweetest Day .  "Once known as a day to spread love and cheer to the unfortunate..." I suppose some one might consider me unfortunate in my unattached state, but I don't see it that way.  If I'm given a gift, I want it to be from the heart not just because it's a nationally recognized calendar holiday. According to the article in Wikipedia...   It is described by Retail Confectioners International as an "occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember not only the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose hel...

GLEE premieres tonight. I couldn't be more excited. Seriously, this is huge! I thought I'd missed it last night, but I didn't! My days are so confused with Labor Day. What a relief to hear the announcement on FOX this morning. GLEE is a show about kids who are just like I was in high school. Though, I don't think as members of The Celebration Singers we were laughed at or regarded as doofuses. Maybe we were but didn't care. I've talked about this before on my blog. Without show choir, I didn't care about high school. That tightly knit group of kids who sang and danced on stage is what kept me sane. While the football stars recall the glory days of making that touchdown at the last second, I recall the the thrill of learning harmonies and managing perfect choreography while singing my heart out. I was no Rachel. Though, I longed to sing well enough to be given solos. When that didn't always happen, I still gave it my all. I can relate to these...

The date is 09-09-09. September 9, 2009. What better way to honor it than with music. ..but probably more commonly known tunage: