Rapier's Wit

...glitter on the mattress... Not so fast, cowboy!! The other night the snow was falling as I drove home from work. The temperature was below 15°F. The flakes were small, but not pellet like. Going the speed limit on I-57 wasn't optional. There was no rush to get home because the headlights shining on the freshly fallen snow was magical. Wet, big flakes don't have the same sparkle quality of the colder snow. If you live in a region where it snows you will understand. Don't laugh. For once in my life it seemed as if the roads were paved with glitter just for me. Shut up. I said don't laugh. When you're a woman like me, you have to find moments that make you feel exquisitely special. Those moments often have to be created in the mind. If only it could have been captured in a photo. The snow causes the world to hush. I loathe the cold, but snow brings with it something so ... comforting. At last my path was lined with glitter. I took it as a sign from...

The other day I received a wrong number text. Instead of being quick by telling the sender 'wrong number,' I got creative like all those people who end up on Tumblr and Buzz Feed. First, I had to high tail it to Google and search a photo. My initial thought was an image depicting a person excited about cookies. Search: COOKIES Enter the screenshot. Hmmm That photo wasn't going to do the ... WAIT A MINUTE! Wait a cotton pickin' booger flickin' minute! What is Google suggesting as a related search? Let me point it out Who would have thunk to add THAT to cookies or any baked goods. I imagine Martha Stewart sitting at her kitchen counter after a tryst with the gardener or the butcher ... ya know, she's whipping up a post-coital snack to rev back up to go in for a second round...and BAM! What ever could she do with excess semen? You're welcome! Now we both have that disturbing image in our heads. Ho, ho, ho. Here's the screenshot of the te...

The other night while babbling with a friend on the phone we segued into things that annoy us. Some stuff is personally unique while other items are likely commonplace irritants for many. Off the top of my head few things sprang to mind. As the days have marched on I managed to make a mental list.  Oh, you think Thanksgiving Day doesn't seem to be the right day of the year to voice those little things that eat away at me? Ask yourself for as long as you've known me have you seen me follow the typical path? When everyone else is posting heartfelt, earnest posts, I want it to be known that I'm different. If that irks you... oops. You are reading the wrong blog. OK. Shall we commence with the Rissues list of November 2013? Whispering in movies and commercials. I don't know what it is, but it makes me ears bleed... and mother like son. It drives Mancub mad, too. Couples who share a Facebook, social network, email account. You never know which one of them ...

June 30, 2013 marked my first attendance at a gay pride parade. It won't be my last. I support equality -- and the freedom to eat Vietnamese sandwiches Where shall I begin to share the tale of my first Gay Pride Parade? It didn't take me long to say yes to going with my friends Frank & Justin. There was some hesitation because of the weather, but it turned out to be the perfect day. Here we are pre-parade. I'm so glad they invited me. We met up with my sister and her wife who had already staked out a place for us to watch the festivities. It was fate that we were near a restaurant selling sangria to passers by. Yum! Prior to the parade starting we hoofed it down to Walgreen's to pick up liquid provisions. Good lawdy! Everybody had the same idea. "All purchases except cigarettes taken at the pharmacy" was announced and we bee lined it to the back of the store. Why wait behind 50 other people? With refreshment in hand, we made tracks back t...

Sunday, Father's Day, Mancub and I were returning home in the late afternoon. When making the turn for our block, I noticed a lone duckling quickly waddling from the church parking area making its way to the street. STOP! Look! A duckie! I put the car in park and grabbed the phone to take this photo. See the little feathered friend in the gravel? Mancub hopped out of the car -- no one was coming from either direction -- because the duck vanished and we feared he'd gone under the car. Alas, he'd diverted to the front. Poor thing had to be bewildered. Mancub safely escorted the duck across the street to prevent an oncoming car from hitting it. At that point I had exited the car to take another photo. Why did the duckling cross the road? He's center just within the shaded area. Shortly after the above photo was taken the duckling took cover in the bushes at the neighbor's house. Mancub dashed in the house to use the bathroom while I kept watch. Oh, I h...

No, that is not me misspelling a word in the title. It's a play on the phrase. Sheesh. The weather has been less than agreeable given that it is late Spring. Today, it was a brisk 53 〫 at a local arts festival. Celebrate strawberries and jazz. At least it is referred to as the Strawberry Jazz Festival. In rebellion against the weather as it was, I wore what would normally be appropriate for this time of year when the temperatures are usually in the upper 80s and sunshine would be baking my shoulders: A sundress and flip flops. My fingers and toes went numb, but damn it! I proved a point to Mother Nature while looking like a fool in comparison to those dressed for the cloudy, chilly weather. Bah. Who cares. I don't embrace fitting in anyway. There were many art and food vendors. We went specifically for the live entertainment. I should mention this is the first outing the boy has made since graduating. Oy. Even with the cloud cover I hope we got a good dose of Vitamin D. ...

Today after I received multiple injections in my left leg -- part of treatment for totally grody varicose veins -- I walked across the clinic's parking lot to imbibe in coffee and a bagel. (French toast crunch, if you must know.) There I sat sipping my hazelnut coffee and scrolling through Google News when a woman who, judging by the volume of her voice, seemed oblivious that she was inside a restaurant where most people read and chill rather than a rock concert, came strolling over.  She was greeted by a couple others and went on to explain why she was late to what sounded like a weekly gathering. It was then that it seemed a grand idea for me to post what I overheard to Facebook. Rather than retype what has already been put into words, I copied and now shall execute the paste: FYI, apparently the plural of breakfasts is breakfastes ... At least according to the woman behind me. Marissa Rapier   A man sitting across from me has the u...