Rapier's Wit

This was originally written October 24, 2009. It popped up on Facebook's "On This Day" feature.  Today is Saturday and next Saturday is Halloween. I requested the day off. It wasn't really necessary since my son is 15 and no longer dresses up and sets out as a beggar for the night pleading for candy. Those days of knocking on doors and holding out your bag (in my case a pillow case) seem to be dwindling. Because of the lack of porch stomping, costumed children I make certain to buy candy we like. Left overs must be pleasing.  It's a shame that the children of today have to miss out on the random hijinx of days gone by. Maybe I'm off base and the kids from less fortunate areas are taking a charter bus to the affluent neighborhoods. I know we weren't above that. We'd convince someone's parent or, more likely an older sibling who could drive, to take us out where it was rumored that full size candy bars were being handed out. The last yea...

New Year's Eve is coming up in a couple of days. When one searches on Google random things can pop up. I like this word. . . a lot. Sometimes I experience this. . . then, sadness strikes. One cannot do this alone. Here's to ringing in 2014 kissing my pillow.

YOU'RE WELCOME! HAPPY THANKSGIVING NIGHTMARES ARE ON ME.

Yep. When I choose a wine, the label had better be interesting. My good friend chooses wine similarly. His boyfriend confirms that the contents could be skunk piss, but as long as the bottle is interesting he will buy it. A few years ago, before I could afford cable and internet, we frequented the library. My driver's license had an address within the public library district and I was able to obtain a card at no charge. Now, I have to fork over nearly $200. per year because I live outside city limits. OK, sorry. Distracted by detail. Prior to cable and internet I checked out dozens of books per month. Chick lit mostly because all I wanted was to be entertained. Perusing the shelves looking for specific titles and authors didn't do the trick. Not being an avid reader, I had no favorites and Danielle Steel no longer did the trick. So, with that in mind and knowing all I needed was lightweight smut and girly adventure, I sought out pink and purple stereotypical feminine ...

June 30, 2013 marked my first attendance at a gay pride parade. It won't be my last. I support equality -- and the freedom to eat Vietnamese sandwiches Where shall I begin to share the tale of my first Gay Pride Parade? It didn't take me long to say yes to going with my friends Frank & Justin. There was some hesitation because of the weather, but it turned out to be the perfect day. Here we are pre-parade. I'm so glad they invited me. We met up with my sister and her wife who had already staked out a place for us to watch the festivities. It was fate that we were near a restaurant selling sangria to passers by. Yum! Prior to the parade starting we hoofed it down to Walgreen's to pick up liquid provisions. Good lawdy! Everybody had the same idea. "All purchases except cigarettes taken at the pharmacy" was announced and we bee lined it to the back of the store. Why wait behind 50 other people? With refreshment in hand, we made tracks back t...

Kitty cats and video games.  The two things that my son loves. Our cats only give me attention when he's not around. Otherwise, they snub me for his attention.  I don't know what it is, seriously.  They dash away from me and run under beds.  Yet, with Mancub, they willfully go to him.  Silver is especially skittish with me. There's no chance of me holding her in my arms.  She becomes this spastic, skin shredding psycho.  With Mancub she's docile.  She anxiously awaits him each morning.  Every night after he showers she paces for him to emerge. Then, she races to the couch, meows as if commanding him to sit down so she can hop up on him and snuggle.  What really gets to me is the smug look she gives me as she cozies up to Mancub. After posting a few photos of my son with his furry companions, my friend and fellow blogger Angie Bailey asked if Mancub would like to be part of a regular feature on her blog Catladyland : Men Who Love Cats ....

Blogging about one's life can be a sticky wicket.  Obviously, I don't lead a completely solitary life.  So, for that, writing about my daily adventures often brings other people into the picture.  I can change their names to protect the innocent (or not so much depending on the situation). However, it's not that hard to figure out who it is I'm making reference.  This is why my blog posts have been inconsistent.  You come here hoping for something new.  Your Google Reader doesn't show anything for Marissology. You swing by just in case it is a network glitch and .......... nada. A week passes by and there is nothing posted. What the hell? Something that hasn't changed is my quest to be fit and healthy.  Slowly but surely my weight is dropping.  Jeans that are three sizes smaller than those in March, 2010 were purchased.  Yet, I don't find the need to report daily on my workouts or food intake.  There's more to my life than losing w...

I blame my sister Mary for this Friday night affliction.  I posted a Schick Bush trimmer commercial on Facebook and some how she discovered this wack-a-doodle or free spirit, if you will.  Ever since I've been watching her dance around in various ensembles. Frightening close ups, sweaty clavicle, terrible lip syncing. What's not to love? It's like crack without the residual stench, but rehab may be required.  May you all sleep well -- Remember, dance like no one is watching and make certain to hit record on the video camera when you do it.

Listen to your heart closely today, because it's going to alert you to a new romance or love opportunity. This might not involve romance in the terms of a significant other -- it could very well mean that more romantic ideas and concepts are becoming more prominent in your life. But either way, you should keep yourself open to new opportunities and do whatever you can to honor a recent commitment you made with someone you have known for a very long time. ....and right before Halloween. Maybe this would be more appropriate on April 1.  For as long as you've all known/read me, you've probably gathered that I am a hopeful sort.  While I get discouraged and over-think e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, I still keep the faith that one day my time will come to have all the warm fuzzy feelings of romance and not find them skipping town at the first notion of me reciprocating. I don't like being toyed with.  For sure there are people who get a thrill from that cat and mouse game.  I d...

No, Adam Lambert didn't technically win American Idol Season whateveritwas.  Kris Allen was crowned the winner.  But he's kind of under the radar right now.  Being runner-up isn't as bad as it may seem, ya know.  This is a track off the John Cusack blockbuster 2012 .  It appears California is crumbling into the Pacific Ocean or something.  It's likely I won't see it until it comes out on dvd and is available on Netflix.  While many of you might not be Lambert fans, I do like his flair.  Yeah, I said it. I do admit the song is a formula tune. It's very Aerosmith circa "Armageddon" love theme, don't ya think? You'd be hard pressed to  find something on the radio that isn't formulaic. Especially when it's being churned out by the American Idol master machine operators.  It'll get plenty of airplay. I'll sing it. Or rather I'll attempt to emulate the wail of Lambert. To anyone over hearing it they might be inclined to call 9...

Maybe it's just me, but this video heightened my interest in frosting. What's that? I'm nuts? This is useful since I couldn't care less about the cake. Perfect tips for hand to mouth frosting feeding frenzy.

I'm not at home. For those thieves who might know where I live, don't bother. There's nothing of real value there. Plus, consider yourselves warned if you're immediately attacked by two felines. I can't be held responsible for their actions upon violating the security of my domicile. Silver, as some of you may remember, has a deafening yelp and howl. Perpetrators will beg for mercy. Mo-mo stops, drops and rolls in front of her assailants thereby causing a nasty spill which renders them helpless. Fear the felines. I've not felt inspired to write lately. I suspect going from my house to my sister's house is taking a toll on me. Perhaps I need to be in my comfort zone. If you read my previous post you fully grasp how my brain operates when I'm not in familiar territory. That was mighty scary. I'm going to let my mind ramble and discuss the mundane. You're giddy with anticipation, aren't you? One of the perks of being employed in optic...

Basically I am lacking in creativity. I'm also acutely aware that many of my readers (OK, the 5 of you that regularly visit) might have missed out on some of my proudest posts. I apologize to those of you who've read these previously. Who knows, maybe my shared thoughts about breasts and shopping for over the shoulder boulder holders have been painfully pushed to the deepest recesses of your minds. And now I am forcing you to have instant recall! (and recoil.) One of the reasons the subtitle to this blog involves "pursuit of the perfect bra" is due to my inability to find an ideal fit for my basooms. It's not rocket science, or is it? I don't think it's my fault that I am not able to find a brassier that fits comfortably and properly. Manufacturers are sadistic bastards. That's what! What made me think of these revealing tales was a test that I took on Facebook. Yes, those are not only major time sucks but they are completely and utterly (udder...

+ You know you want me. Oh yeah. Sexy, tipsy and regular. It's the side of the cougar television never tells you about. Rawr ... now, can you point me towards the ladies room?

Today makes the third day off work. Seriously, I need to find a way to make money doing this; screwing around online and in the process maybe hammer out a coherent thought that resonates with whomever stumbles up on my blog (either by accident or intention). This mornin g I had no inclination to do my laundry after Mancub left for school. No, what I fully planned was crawling back into bed for another hour or so. Then, once fully re-rested, I'd make a pot of coffee and chillax with the morning news. Oh, who am I fooling? I would have parked my carcass at this amusement box and goofed around on Plurk or Facebook with an intermittent perusal of one of the blogs I have listed over there ----------> Maybe I should always plan on being Miss Slackerass because, rather than going back to bed, I put on clothes, sorted laundry and hauled my tuchus to the local gas n'sip /launderette. Small town living is just so freakin ' peachy. For a Monday, the gas/laundry facility was ...

Whenever I go out and about, I try to find humor in the mundane. I've been making this a quest because I need levity. We all need that, right? What's bad about my endeavor to get a giggle at the expense of others is that I tend to have a shoddy memory. Yeah. I forget things as soon as they happen unless, of course, it happened to be directly. How dorky would I look whipping out my nerd-a-rific 3 x 5 spiral notebook? Perhaps if Attitude Bunny was kept in my back pocket?? Or would that be the equivalent of carrying a comb in my pocket that matches my ensemble? At 43 should I be worried about appearing odd? At this rate, at least it might draw some kind of attention, eh? Yesterday while at work, we were discussing the cleanliness habits of our co-workers ... or lack there of. A particular co-worker has been observed only rinsing out a cup he uses regularly before returning it to the cupboard. He doesn't use hot water or soap. Needless to say, the word got around not ...

My morning started with quite a conundrum. In fact, it was awful. Not only did I feel that I didn't get enough sleep -- thank you Alka-Seltzer Plus -- I couldn't make coffee! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS TO A CAFFEINE ADDICT LIKE MYSELF!? Sorry for all the caps. I'm tense. Or, at least I was ... that is, until I turned to my personal wealth of information. Plurk. Yep. Blah, blah, blah. I'm bragging up on my pleeps on Plurk. I put the water in the coffee maker. Then, it happened. THE HORROR! I remembered I used the last coffee filter YESTERDAY. I went to the grocery store after work YESTERDAY. It was snowing. All I had on my mind was getting in and out of that place before traffic got heavier with idiots. Oh, the creamer found its place in my basket. Bagels, cream cheese, chicken, bananas, marshmallow fluff. You know. The essentials for any gourmet. Yet, never did the coffee filters plunk themselves into my cart. Damn it! I posed this issue on Plurk. The first suggestion ...

Today was a very dreary, cold day in Kankakee, Illinois. When I walked to the garage sleet was pelting me in the face. Thank God for my smelly mousse application. It made my hair poofy enough that my skull wasn't damaged by the ice particles falling. For a reason totally unknown to me *coughplurkingcough* I was late to work by twelve minutes. I'm usually Jenny on the Spot when it comes to getting to work. I was so surprised by my own tardiness that I exclaimed, "whoa! I'm really late!" To which my co-worker nodded and said, "Yeah. You really are." I felt scolded. But not to worry. She didn't care and due to it being Veterans Day, a trip to the bank wasn't required. Many customers were waiting outside the gate like the zombies in Dawn of Dead. It's a nightmarish sight for us. It's especially frustrating when they over exaggerate the motion of looking at their watches. Our clocks are computerized and we go by that time, grandpa. With the on...

Here it is. Yet another Friday that has me feeling undeniably cheeky. I'm all sassified!! I can't quite explain it. The last time I declared this I was giddy over getting to consume mass quantities of fair food . By the way, last Friday I over indulged on cotton candy, corn dogs and soft pretzels. That carbohydrate inhalation left me comatose. I woke up feeling as if I'd been doing tequila shots all night long. OY! So, here I am off work. It's a cloudy, rainy, yucky day; yet, I'm impervious to the doldrums usually brought on by weather that's less than favorable. When I say I'm feeling cheeky, I don't mean this: It's this weird feeling I don't often wake up experiencing. I feel positive. How can that be? Am I not supposed to be feeling the stresses of financial sparsity? Shouldn't I be grumpy because my fling was flung -- presumably since there's been no communication? Nope. I am delightfully content.

I'm so happy it's Friday. It's unusual for me to be thrilled. Screaming TGIF doesn't have a normal spot in my vocabulary because, in my line of work, a weekend just doesn't take on the same meaning it does for those of you who work Monday through Friday. Chances are I'm not sleeping in on a Saturday. I'm waking up, slurping down java in haste and rushing out the door only to find myself sitting on the bench outside the store because the management thinks its exempt from being on time. *shew* This Friday is different! Due to my involvement in Kankakee Valley Theatre Associations production of STATE FAIR, I am off all weekend. Sure, I'll have my hair in curlers for hours prior to curtain time. I'll wear 3 times the average amount of make-up and a color totally unlike my natural skin tone. Aqua Net is dragged out of the 80's and sprayed feverishly. I'll be dancing in shoes that are clearly a modern day version of Medieval torture. However, none...