Rapier's Wit

This looks nothing like my dental experience...the chair is all wrong Today was our sixth month cleaning at the dentist. The folks there always treat us as if they see us weekly. I don't know if they keep dossiers on their patients or they are just that good. Granted, we have been going to this particular dentist for quite a few years. Still, considering we only see him every six months or so, he remembers conversations we've had. That brings me to today's chat with the dentist. After the hygienist picked, flicked, flossed and polished my choppers, dentist extraordinaire came in asking if I was still doing the Beachbody thing. After referring to my pudginess with an uncomfortable chuckle, I told him no. See, we'd babbled between drilling and filling (and other dental things that might sound sexual), we discussed what was once my weight loss success. I guess when a person is stretched back in a chair with a light shining in their face, weight loss is noticeable.....

Everyone knows that when you are on a quest for improved health and, more specifically weight loss, you must reduce or totally eliminate empty calories.  Alcohol is a ginormous cavern of pointless consumption in regards to fueling the body.  On a side note, if you have not given up the booze, even a couple drinks a week, that could be stunting your endeavors to see smaller numbers on the scale and waist band size. With all of that being said, I bought a candy apple red martini shaker last year when Target had their holiday merchandise marked down to nearly nothing.  I couldn't resist it.  Like a beacon it beckoned to me.  Impulse buying at its finest and the justification that it cost as little as a 2-litre bottle of Diet Coke.  Since that purchase it has resided in a cupboard.  That is until recently.  After a super intense workout like Turbo Fire, it's necessary for me to refuel and hydrate.  Beachbody offers a great product called P90X R...

Once again it's all about me. Here's the link for the video down yonder just in case the embed doesn't work. Sorry if it feels like you're on a bumpy road while viewing this vlog entry.  Still without a tripod, I just extend my arm out and shoot.  Hey, at least I'm not making the infamous "duck face" then entire time.

The title of this post is a comment that a friend sent to me on Facebook. I started a Marissology fan page and sent out invites for people to join. I suspect this friend saw new photos of me. The play on words caused me to laugh my ever decreasing tushy off. I won't call him out on it since he did send his thoughts in a private message, but it was just too cute for words not to share. I do havesome BIG! Ginormous!! HUGE-GANTIC!! news to share. Kind of ironic considering the gargantuan news is about something getting smaller.  Yes, another weight loss update. *cartwheel* Today, August 29, 2010 I stepped up on the scale to have it remain for a week solid on ....... never mind the number.  It tells me that I have lost FORTY POUNDS of back fat, booty slap, jiggling cottage cheese and BINGO! wings since my decision to get healthy began with three shakes a day for 3 days with Shakeology on the 3-day Cleanse. It has not been easy.  There is absolutely no sense in tryi...

Technically I'm a few days older than I was the last time I wrote on my blog.  My birthday came and went without incident.  Driver's license was renewed at the facility that time forgot.  I would swear that when the phone rang (a ring not unlike that of the avocado green colored phone that hung in our kitchen back in the '70s), the person answering would be greeted by Ernestine "One ringy dingy" the phone operator.  Lavender and ivory roses were delivered sent to me by my 'dearest'.  Attached was a beautifully written, personal message -- hint: I'm not telling you.  The rest of the day was spent with my Mancub.  His birthday gift from his dad finally arrived via Fed Ex and he was anxious to spend it. I happily obliged. Then we went out for lunch.  That brings me to the next order of business.  My diet has been absolutely dreadful for about three weeks.  Honesty is the best policy when holding oneself accountable.  Since being em...

Summer was once a season of dread.  Oh, I loved the longer days and vast sunshine. It's always a welcome relief for school to be out.  I'm one of those parents who is more stressed during the school year.  Summertime is glorious with exception to attire.  Less clothing is required.  My former body preferred being covered in over-sized sweaters; turtlenecks.  This summer is vastly different from decades gone by.  No more do I suffer with 3/4 length sleeves in the heat. This time around I have bared my arms on a daily basis! Showing off the infancy of defined shoulders, biceps and triceps has me shopping (in the clearance section) for tops that are more fitted and sleeveless! Back flubber is diminishing which means I don't always try to position myself with my back against a wall to keep others from seeing it.  You wouldn't believe how often I'd avoid walking in front of people or remain seated just to eliminate the possibility of people seeing my g...

Yes, slightly less big girls do cry. This isn't baseball! On March 27, 2010 I promised that when I reached 90 days I would post my before and after photos. This wasn't an easy task because my vanity often gets the better of me. Honestly, it wasn't my trite sense of narcissism that held me back from posting full length photos. I just never wanted anyone to know exactly how fat I was. This journey is a lifelong quest for improved health. Thank you for coming along for the ride and, quite possibly, joining me on your own path toward healthfulness. Now, enjoy the video and pardon the mess.

Late nights and early mornings provide an assault of infomercials from that steamer sanitizer gadget and hair care products to workout programs guaranteed to get you in the best shape of your life.  In the past, I have been guilty of ordering the weight loss products only to try them a couple of times and when the fat didn't instantly melt away those dvds with all the diet inserts would find a home nestled away with dust bunnies on the back of my book shelf. Then, as most of you know, I was bitten with the fitness bug.  Basically what that means is that, mentally, I was ready to get in shape, lose weight and be committed to it for a lifetime.  It wasn't until then I began seeing remarkable results.  I had to overcome the pitfall period that usually got the better of me in the past with other diets.  The only way this was accomplished was by having support and encouragement from friends and my online support system of Beachbody.  Initially the weight wasn'...

Excitement is buzzing all over Team Beachbody for a new fitness program that can burn 9X the fat and calories of traditional aerobic programs.  It's called TURBO FIRE⌐ . Creator Chalene Johnson has brought us booty shakin', high kicking and punching Turbo Jam (a personal favorite) and ChaLEAN Extreme .  This new fat blasting 10 dvd set consists of 12 workouts guaranteed to melt away the pounds of stubborn weight.  Chalene and her team pick out some of the best music to keep you motivated while the sweat drips down your back. The key component of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). It will also contain everything you need to get started toward your ultimate beach body.  Couple this phenomenal program with Shakeology , Team Beachbody Meal Plan (newly updated for Club members) and in no time you'll be calling Goodwill to pick up all your clothes because you'll be shopping for smaller ensembles that show off your head turning physique! Check out the link for Tu...

The title of this post is a phrase often used online when someone makes a claim of a certain situation taking place.  "I just saw a woman wearing a poodle on her head." That sort of thing warrants a pics or it didn't happen reply. Since March 27th, I have been using Beachbody's Power 90 In-Home boot camp with Tony Horton.  Whenever I work out, I log on to Team Beachbody and click Super-Gym WOWY ( W ork O ut W ith Y ou). It's an ideal way to track your workouts.  The website is designed to support members (free, by the way) while they strive to achieve their goals for better health and fitness.  In fact, any program you purchase from Beachbody will remind you to log on to WOWY before the work-out starts.  Pretty fab, if I do say so myself.  Thanks to that awesometastic feature, I know that I've worked out 32 times with Tony Horton and 'the kids.'  After last night's Phase 3-4 Sweat and Ab Ripper 200 routine, I decided it was time to put my money w...

As most of you know by now, I am kicking ass on this weight loss thing.  Working out has become second nature and my body shows it. Sure, the changes may be subtle and unnoticed to those who see me regularly, but I know my body is undergoing altered states. Quite literally, my tushy is higher. The cheeks no longer touch the top of my thighs.  It also helps to finally have a bra that fits properly ( Le Mystere 965 Dream Tisha via Herroom.com -- the only site to carry my size in this Oprah endorsed style.). I suppose having less back flab makes that bra fit even better.  The point of telling you that is that is with my boobs being lifted, it accentuates my waistline and improves my posture. Without bragging too much, I feel sexier than I have in a eons.  Sometimes it's the little things that boost the mental state. And through that confidence exudes. I want to take a second to point out that seventeen pounds have been shed, inches lost in just a little over a month t...

It's a horrible fact and fate in my life.  I suffer (and thusly make others suffer) from PMS or whatever trendy name you want to give it.  That is until about six weeks ago.  I'm not making claims that the symptoms have completely vanished, but drinking Shakeology daily, eating well and exercising nearly every day has made my emotional outbursts, cramps, headaches and upper back tension diminish.  Additionally, my inability to stop shoving food in my pie hole during that time has greatly dwindled.  Cravings for high sodium junk food are a thing of the past. Hmmmm Obviously, this isn't some revelation or discovery that I've stumbled upon.  The theory has existed for a long time that if you consume healthy food and exercise regularly, your body will respond positively.  Duh! When morning breaks, I have a sense of dread. I won't lie to you.  The mere idea of working out makes me want to pull the covers up over my head and sleep for another h...

You'll notice that some things have erupted on my page. Those things are ads. Those ads are placed there based on what I'm writing about. For me, it's a no brainer. Hopefully those ads will drive a little chunk of change toward my wallet. Yes, I'm monetizing my blog. The first ads that popped up are for a Beachbody product called P90X. It's a kick-ass, get your body ripped program. Did you know you can purchase it (and many other fabulous fitness programs and supplements) through me as your personal Beachbody Coach. The link in the banner of this blog will take you there! I'm very excited about this new venture. Amazon.com is one of my favorite sites. I often post on Facebook what values I find there particularly in regards to music. You'll get the best of both worlds: My blog and shopping on Amazon simultaneously! It's a multi-tasker's dream come true. Haha. I do believe I'm getting the hang of this dramatic lifestyle change. Since I first ...

This week I have had to really push myself.  What's funny about that is knowing I can dig a little deeper and push harder.  The weight isn't melting off as I had hoped it would, but I suspect my body is in shock with all the goodness it's receiving.  In response, it's going into salvation mode. However, it will adjust to all the vegetables, fresh fruit and cardio. I have faith that it will. Tracking my food (protein, fat, carbs & calories), water intake, exercise etc... will get me where I want to be. I've totally given up diet sodas! That's such a huge win for me.  Even if I did only lose 1 pound this week, the fact that I didn't drink soda fills me with a great sense of accomplishment. Rather than leaving it up to the programs on the Wii, it's become apparent that I need to rev up my workouts by varying my routines with Beachbody's Turbo Jam , Hip Hop Abs and power walking (the weather has been perfect). I recognize that the soreness I feel ...

You all know, by now,  that I'm trying to get healthy and, in turn, lose weight.  It's not that I feel awful or have major health issues, but there's no doubt that improvement can be made on my overall state of mind, energy level and physical appearance.  Only moments ago a thought jumped into my head as I went to the kitchen to get breakfast (a blend of Chocolate and Banana Nut Cheerios).  Do thin people -- those who've never battled the bulge or suffer from eating disorders -- do they think about food even when they aren't hungry? Obviously planning dinners etc are expected. Do they consciously choose something healthy even though they are craving a piece of pineapple upside down cake or a bacon & blue cheese-half pound burger? Or, do they just eat what they want but naturally stop before they are full?  Is eating what they want in moderation something innate or a conscious choice? I'm convinced there is, in my case, some childhood psychosis attached to ...

As a gift to myself, I mentioned on February 15th that I bought the EA Sports Active program for the Wii. Prior to buying it I had been sick.  Even though I've managed to feel better, my lungs weren't up to the challenge. Or, at least that is the story I was feeding myself while indulging on crap-food.  The subconscious Marissa was fighting the pending launch back into a healthier lifestyle.  My subconscious alter-ego is ultra lazy and craves junk food.  While I do not crave or love sweets, that chubby nitwit devours them before the conscious me is aware. I'm sure she has chloroform in her arsenal in which to render the smart me into a delirious haze of submission. With all the chips out of the house, Monday is a new week.  Today, I tore into the cellophane of the EA program like Charlie Bucket tears into that Wonka Bar.  Being excited, even if feigned, helps the endeavor along.  At least for me.  Naturally, I wouldn't be able to perform the req...

I confess!! I will try gimmicks to lose weight. I don't buy pills, but I do buy into those infomercials about shaking my booty 'til the weight drops off. You've seen them. Women (and some not so coordinated men) dancing, thrusting, hip thumping themselves into a sweaty frenzy while the instructor energetically leads them. The instructors are frighteningly thin. My guess is they've' not had a visit from Auntie Flow in eons due to dangerously low body fat. No, I do not pay attention to the fine print telling me " results are not typical " when the formerly size 22 is now a svelte size 6 with no apparent flopping skin or stretch marks. I'm thinking when someone drops weight quickly they would have skin hanging on them like wax drippings on the candle you left lit too long. I like to pretend that woman could be me sans drippy skin content. Sadly, I have a fear of commitment that clearly includes committing to myself. That being said, I haven't ...

I'm sitting here trying to catch up on blogs that I enjoy. If you look to your right along the side there is a list of the blogs I try to follow. It ain't easy. I haven't even made coffee!!! When the desire to write hits; one must hop on the word flow train. For some reason I turned on the television when I came downstairs. I think my hope was to find an old movie in progress. What I found was a sea of paid programming. I decided to cruise the channels for something that caught my eye or made me chuckle like SHAM-WOW! -- I can't handle those guys yelling at me. I get it. You're excited. But dude! I think you just popped an artery. About 20 minutes ago an exercise program called Kettlenetics was telling me I could have sculpted abs and lean, long muscle tone and drop inches while having a good time. Ooh, and if I'd called within the next 10 minutes I'd get alllllll the items shown on the screen for 2 payments of $19.95 instead of 3 payments of $19.95. The p...

My mother was a big promoter of poop. She wasn't one to fling poo. In fact, I am quite certain her shit didn't stink. Don't turn away and act righteous. Everybody poops. It's a necessary bodily function. In fact, if you aren't doing it then you have bigger problems than being easily offended by a shitty blog post. Whenever I complained of a belly ache, her question would be, "Have you pooped today?" If I groaned over a headache, her reply would be, "You probably need to poop." If any of us were remotely gassy and incessantly leaving stinkers (she forbid the word fart in our household) the suggestion would be, "you need to go poop." I had always considered my mother's fecal matter queries to be odd. The reason I think her poop didn't smell was due to having no recollection that she did, in fact, have bowel movements. She died of cancer at age 51. It's no laughing matter that people are paying more attention to what they leav...

I'm a woman of few written words this morning. Have a fabulous Tuesday. Gotta run!!!