Rapier's Wit

Dear Pixar: As always, I am behind on watching movies. Ever since my son hit puberty we aren't as prone to racing to the theater to see your movies. He's into fart humor flicks and action/adventures. So, this morning I was flipping through the 100s of channels offered up and stumbled upon your film BRAVE .  Since I had not seen it and nothing else piqued my interest, I opted to view. First off, let me applaud the design of the wild haired Merida. It's clear in the very beginning she is not the usual 'live in a shiny castle upon the hill' sort of princess. Secondly, it was refreshing that none of the first born males of the other clans were strapping, handsome warrior sorts with the heart of gold. You almost always throw some stud in the mix that the wild eyed princess fawns over completely losing sight of her identity. Again, thank you. Thirdly, encouragement from the father to remain independent reminds me a lot of my own relationship with my dad. My mom,...

Last night when I got home from work and settled in, I checked my email. Amongst the newsletters and impersonal advertisements was notification of a comment left on my blog for a post I wrote on May 1. "Sometimes I wonder... " was a primer on how I became musically involved at school. The comment I speak of was left by my one and only date from high school. He took me to the Junior Prom. I wore a pink, tea-length gown fashioned after Princess Diana's wedding dress. My sister Maureen made it for me. My date wore white tails. I wish I had a photo to share, but alas those are tucked away in a box at my sister's house. As I was saying, in the comment (you can click the post link above and see for yourself) he said he Googled me for the ... of it. And in doing so he found my blog. I have to say I was flabbergasted and flattered that he thought of me and was curious enough about me to turn to Google. I've heard through the 25th reunion grapevine that he...

If I could punch a movie in the face ... Yes, I am a volatile person. I have potential to be, that is. I keep the violence contained in my head and don't let it travel to my fists, but rest assured if I ever unleash all this pent up fire beneath it will be a hailstorm of fury that'll make Chuck Norris seem like a whimpering pussy. It has been said that when I'm passionate about something I give it full on support. Likewise, when I despise something, I am equally passionate in my disgust and distaste for the subject matter. That includes people. So, watch out! In the last installment, I revealed the winners of the punch in the pie hole. For review you can go here to see the winners along with my reasoning (quite honestly I don't think I have to justify anything. I just hate the movies.). While I compile this next list, I am torturing myself as St. Elmo's Fire churns out it's shittastic dialogue on AMC. It basically has tossed kerosene on the fire. So, wit...

Sundays are my day for lazing about. I revel in not working. In my realm, Sunday is a day to relax or take on tasks around the house that aren't major feats. I go with the flow. The first day of the calendar week also reminds me of a time of watching movies on WGN Family Classics with Frasier Thomas. WCIA out of Champaign/Urbana always had some movie playing. This was long before movies were released to video. Channels were limited to maybe 12 stations. What I now know as FOX Broadcasting was WFLD back when I was a kid. Those were the stations I'd flip to and from on the rotary knob of our console television set. It was my mother who'd insist on us watching " Ma and Pa Kettle " in their various incarnations. I learned to love Blondie and Dagwood in all their black and white ditziness. Without a doubt, my sense of humor was shaped by those movies and my mother's influence. Of all the motion pictures that were part of my Sunday movie enjoyment, none brings me a ...

I have serious noggin' throb. I blame the barometric pressure. It seems to have an effect on my cranium. Temperature change? Thump thump thump. I'm sure I need a new mattress. I could use a chiropractor. A massage wouldn't hurt. I have Advil and a heating pad. Sunday was a day of feeling puny. So, much of it was spent on the couch. I was feeling Christmassy for some bizarre reason. The Man-cub and I selected CHRISTMAS VACATION to watch while I zoned out. Boy, did I zone out! I swear the couch injected me with a sleep serum the minute Chevy Chase got the blasted lights to illuminate. I awoke in time for Aunt Bethany to belt out "play ball!" Zoinks!! This morning I awoke feeling relatively well. I sent the boy off to school and got comfy. Where? On the couch, of course. I was cozy with my two faux fur throw blankets and watched Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. I could have gone the rest of my life not seeing it. The next flick on the mini-screen at casa de Riss? WAR,...

E! Entertainment News reports that Dwayne "THE ROCK" Johnson is officially a free man. May 19, 2008 marked the date on which he was declared single. You know what that means? That's right. Guilt-free lusting for your's truly. He's absolutely divine. A hunk-o-fabuloso dream walking! He's the extra fudge and brownie topping on the most rich vanilla ice cream. He is the extra protein punch in a banana smoothie. He's who makes me drool. My friend who lives in Venice Beach, CA reports that he's spoken to Dwayne at the gym. My pal says he's genuinely kind and hella good looking. Not as ginormous as one might assume. But in Hollywood few men stand over 6' tall. So, someone with a Greek God presence, such as Dwayne, would be heads above them all. Mmmm and what a lovely head it is. GET SMART , anyone? I don't care that it's being panned by the critics. He's beautimus. When he smiles and ::swoon:: raises that eyebrow ... well, you can find m...

Robert Downey, Jr. has just won my heart. I proclaim him my newest celebrity crush. He is supreme in IRON MAN. His natural smirky charm just oozes from every delectable pore. The movie simply fantastic. John Favreau directs this latest Stan Lee comic turned big screen phenomenon. Favreau also appears as Tony Stark's driver. Great! Stan Lee makes his Hitchcockian appearance per usual. I am not a film maker; nor am I a writer or profess to know a lick about making movies. However, I do watch a lot of movies and this one will have me in line again at the theater. I'll own it on DVD. I'll anxiously await the director's cut super deluxe edition. The entire audience at the 11:55 a.m. showing were captivated, as well as, humored. I wouldn't suggest this being appropriate for wee tots, but my 13 year old loved it. There are jokes and innuendo that had the adults laughing; physical humor that tickled the kids' funny bones. The uber high tech gadgetry will appease the n...

I'm taking Man-cub to see Ironman tomorrow and I don't know who is more excited. I'm willing to bet that I'm edging him out in anxiousness. Robert Downey Jr is one of those actors I've always pulled for. When he was battling drugs and rehab, I was praying he'd come out alive and recovering. It's been five years of living clean and sober. I read that in previous projects he had to supply his own insurance because the film companies wouldn't cover him. He was a high risk. Now that he's sticking to his rehabbed ways the film company gladly forks over the insurance. I also read that John Favreau pushed and insisted that RDJ was the perfect choice to play Tony Stark . On my favorite blog Stuck in the 80s , Spearsy posted about the fallen stars of the 80s. Those who've dropped from good graces. A few years ago RDJ would have found himself on that list. However, today we're only seeing him in fantastic shape with a new lease on a career as he...

Mike Myers is at it again. If you don't love his movies then you're just a goombah doofus who has no sense of humor. Mind you, that's just my opinion. I laughed until I nearly pee'd myself while watching "Austin Powers." My friends sat there wondering if I had smoked something wicked prior to viewing. I simply pooh-poohed their lack of laughter and declared myself a superior funny person. HA! I laugh. Now, watch this video and get on with your self-loving mambo. ohhhmmmmm ~ Mariska Hargitay Sutra 1 - "I'm Ordering some Happy, and make it Snappy"

My son and I ventured out to the theater today. It marks the first day of his Spring Break! Since he's too young to partay with the babes and bros in Florida, hanging out with mom will have to do. Choices were very limited. The only real option was Horton Hears a Who . In no way was I disappointed; nor was he. Lots of fun and shenanigans to behold. I just can't bring myself to hate anything Seussian. It's the law. I'm not writing a review or a synopsis of the flick. I mean, who hasn't read the book? It's worth the ticket price. What I am writing about is the use of an REO Speedwagon song at the end. Horton and the residents of Whoville start singing, "I Can't Fight This Feeling." There I sat wearing my Stuck In the 80s tshirt and singing along. It's all further proof that the 80s shall reign as a superior decade ... even in the world of Seuss.

Sundays should be a day of rest, relaxation and recreation with family. The idea that my place of business is open leaves me feeling disturbed. I've worked for this company nearly twelve years; yet, I can't quite wrap my brain around working on Sunday. That's the day when the Man-cub and I just chill and enjoy hanging out. Once in awhile we'll find ourselves hanging out with other family members. The point is that Sunday is our time. Tomorrow I am fortunate enough to have the day off. I was off today because a 'vulture' willingly pecked at the carcass of a schedule and took my hours. Vacation hours well spent. We've decided that we'll go see a movie. We have a ton of DVDs that have yet to be viewed, but Man-cub and I need a change. We used to make a ritual of seeing movies in the theater at least twice a month before moving back to Illinois. The theaters near us in Georgia were far nicer and we had an IMAX theater close by. FANTASTIC! We're nowhere c...

Although I stand at 5'11" barefoot, I am not referring to myself in the title of this post. I've been called Amazon Woman countless times. For some reason, it never strikes me as flattering. It's like being told, " you're a big boned girl -- you carry your weight well ." to which I think in reply, " Uh, thanks ... you realize you just told me I was fat in a backhanded way, right ?" I've learned to live with it. Amazon.com is the culprit I refer to in the post title. I've never had any complaints about service with them. In fact, I find it all too easy to order on that site. It has everything I could conceivably ever desire. OK, not everything , but you get my drift, yes? I've been purchasing quite a few MP3s as a result of getting a digital download gift card with the purchase of my 8GB iPod Nano. I seriously needed someone to tell me what a GB was prior to buying. I'm going need a bigger one. That's what SHE said ::snort:: ...

What do these three movies have in common? I mean other than the fact that they are from my favorite decade . My 13 year old son has taken a shine to these flicks. For Christmas, I bought him the double pack Ghostbusters. Prior to that, he discovered Robocop on cable OnDemand. This delights me to no end that he LOVES the same things I do. Well, at least we have similar likes in music and movies. I'm completely at a loss when it comes to learning Yu-Gi-OH! and the video games he plays. I question what's going on in his head when he's watching those anime' programs. I have learned that I need to keep an eye out for those. There are sexual undertones I don't care for him to watch. The characters are all seemingly young, but have in depth relationships with the opposite sex. All the characters seem to shout at each other. I get the heebie-jeebies watching. It's all just too much. I can see how it appeals to the video game generation. The Man-cub is amused when I ...

If I had to choose a modern Christmas favorite flick it would be (and is) 2003s Love Actually. This is not the kind of movie where you gather up the kinfolk, drink hot chocolate and string popcorn. This is an adult subject cornucopia to behold. I watch it anytime of the year, but the setting in the film is Christmas. You're taken on a winding trail of vignettes that eventually lead you to a singular path about finding love, losing love, rekindling love and saying goodbye to love. It's simply fantastic. It all begins with visions of loving people greeting one another in an airport (presumed to be Heathrow). Hugh Grant's distinctive voice is narrating what it is that brings us all together on this planet: Love actually. The cast includes some of my favorite actors and actresses: Colin Firth ... meow! Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Laura Linney. Did I mention Colin Firth? I so adore him. He's just a delicious looking man. It's the accent, perhap...

Oh, I'm not talking about big screen TVs my friends. I am talking about the BIG silver screen of the Paramount Theater in my hometown. Throughout the month of December the restored and beautiful Paramount Theater in downtown Kankakee is showing the holiday movies we love. Last night my son and I joined my sister, her family and her friend's family to a viewing of one of the greatest movies ever made: It's a Wonderful Life . It was truly a fantastic and remarkable sight to behold. Seeing Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed on that huge screen as my parents viewed it just captivated me. The humor and nuances seemed renewed. The scene where George Bailey feels he's hit rock bottom and he's drinking in Martini's Bar left me with such a sense of profound empathy. As George's tears streamed down his face, I felt my own eyes sting with tears. Having an audience to share my laughter really brought an additional spark to this old movie. I cried for the first time ever wh...