Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tickled Pink

Today was a very dreary, cold day in Kankakee, Illinois. When I walked to the garage sleet was pelting me in the face. Thank God for my smelly mousse application. It made my hair poofy enough that my skull wasn't damaged by the ice particles falling.
For a reason totally unknown to me *coughplurkingcough* I was late to work by twelve minutes. I'm usually Jenny on the Spot when it comes to getting to work. I was so surprised by my own tardiness that I exclaimed, "whoa! I'm really late!" To which my co-worker nodded and said, "Yeah. You really are." I felt scolded. But not to worry. She didn't care and due to it being Veterans Day, a trip to the bank wasn't required.
Many customers were waiting outside the gate like the zombies in Dawn of Dead. It's a nightmarish sight for us. It's especially frustrating when they over exaggerate the motion of looking at their watches. Our clocks are computerized and we go by that time, grandpa.
With the onslaught of customers comes glasses needing to be made in about an hour. I was the only tech in the lab. So, I was on my A-game but really feeling less than humored. A holiday, people. Home office sends out a big honkin' memo stating MAKE SURE YOU STAFF UP FOR VETERANS DAY. Unhuh. I guess I'm staff enough.
It was when I heard the local radio station's news report that everything took a turn for the giggly. Typically, news of car accidents and DUI arrests don't amuse me. Hearing "Taps" being played while they reported about the local Veteran's Day celebration made my stomach churn. Having experienced a military funeral this summer, it was almost more than I could stand this morning.
I felt as dreary as the weather. That is, until the newscaster told this story: A young man, aged 28, was arrested for suspected drug possession. It was discovered that he had a previous drug charge. During a search, they found crack in his pants.

Bonus Tickle: HONEYBAKED HAM'S radio ad catch phrase: "It's a shame you have to swallow"


  1. Thank you for working in retail for the rest of us. All kidding aside, the work you do is important ... to my sanity.

  2. Happy to help. I'm grateful I don't have frequent, one on one contact with the public. I'd probably have lost my mind and employment long ago if I did.

  3. "It's a shame you have to swallow."

    Call me weird, but that sounds so like the product of living in a country founded by and continuing to be run by prudes.

  4. I LOVE that you're writing every day. Wish Nanoblomo was every month!!

  5. Kevin Kevin, I'm not sure I'm reading your comment as intended. However, I laughed heartily when I heard it on the radio.

  6. Crack in his pants?!?!? LMAO
    I so hear you on working during holidays;(


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