Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Glitter on the highway...

...glitter on the mattress...

Not so fast, cowboy!!

The other night the snow was falling as I drove home from work. The temperature was below 15°F. The flakes were small, but not pellet like. Going the speed limit on I-57 wasn't optional. There was no rush to get home because the headlights shining on the freshly fallen snow was magical. Wet, big flakes don't have the same sparkle quality of the colder snow. If you live in a region where it snows you will understand.

Don't laugh.

For once in my life it seemed as if the roads were paved with glitter just for me.

Shut up. I said don't laugh.

When you're a woman like me, you have to find moments that make you feel exquisitely special. Those moments often have to be created in the mind. If only it could have been captured in a photo.

The snow causes the world to hush. I loathe the cold, but snow brings with it something so ... comforting.

At last my path was lined with glitter. I took it as a sign from the universe that this new year will be spark-tacular!

OK, you're right. That was corny. I'm corny.

The road is paved in glitter and leads right to my door.

Feelin' a new attitude

Hello, 2014! Welcome to my life. You bring with you the promise of clean pages on which to write. I won't leave the old chapters behind, but it is time for a new book to be written. A new saga in a series.

In general, grand resolutions aren't made in the house of Riss. However, seeing it as a marker for a new start suits me. Making promises and not keeping them seems foolish. Why not adopt something that will bring enlightenment and joy? As I said in yesterday's post, I am ready to take a chance again. Throw some caution to the wind and let my heart soar instead of being sore.

Who's with me? Anybody wanna jump on the new attitude train? I was going to say the Riss-train, but that would some how be turned into a perverse notion and the next thing you know invitations to partake in a human centipede would arrive. Yeesh.

As part of my new attitude campaign, the look of this blog has changed. It is a tad spiffier and spruced up. We've parted ways with the definitive lines. Curly Qs have taken up residence. Do you like it? I do.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Taking chances and living without regret

Wow! That's one hell of a post title, eh?

It is the morning of New Year's Eve. Snow is on the ground. Temperature is in the teens. Winter is on a hormonal roller coaster. But enough about the weather.

2013. It is almost history. What have I done with the last 364 days? There are the typical things that comes with being a single mom. My son graduated from high school and started college. Work became more demanding and with that came the revelation that I do not seem to fit corporate jargon filled mentality. With that I must either adapt or seek employment elsewhere.

My employment woes is not what this post is about.

"What is it about, Marissa? I'm already bored?"

This is about what 2013 brought for Marissa the female. The single woman. The mom stuff aside. None of the manager crud. I am talking about the chick... the wo-man that has been stifled. This is about putting it out there and getting my swerve on.

Do you catch the drift now?

No! It doesn't mean picking up sleazy guys in bars or hooking up on some sex-only adult website. Gross! I mean allowing myself to be available emotionally. It means taking a risk to be rejected or heartbroken. But who knows if that will happen. It could turn out great. Or, how about this silly notion... permitting myself to be happy with another person. A male sort.

2013 and pretty much every year prior to that since 1999, I have withheld myself from relationships. Oh, I dated. Plenty of fun was to be had. It was topical. Giving myself fully was too risky. Along the way I learned, or thought I had, most men just wanted a good time gal. Through believing no one could see me as a serious prospect to date and be exclusive with, I projected this aloof creature who didn't need anyone. Being good for laughs, a filler-in, until they (men) met a woman who'd offer a tangible, comprehensive relationship. I would tend to share my feelings too much too late...they'd moved on.

That shit gets old. Fourteen years! That's how long I've been divorced.

Life is short.

2014 will be about living in the moment. Going with my gut and shutting off that inner voice that tells me not to risk it all will not be easy. That aggravating voice is loud. I am taking away its megaphone. The batteries from its Mr. Microphone are being removed.

I am ready.

Laugh at me if you must for posting this tune (because it is Barry Manilow), but it pretty much says it all.  It was used in the film "Foul Play" starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase. Sing along. Tap a toe and pay attention. I've been living inside a shell, but I am ready. With whom? I haven't a clue, but the adventure will be worth the risk... "you get what you get when you go for it ..." Oh, Barry, sing it! Sing the TRUTH!

You remind me I live in a shell,
Safe from the past,
and doing' okay,
but not very well.
No jolts, no surprises,
No crisis arises:
My life goes along as it should,
it's all very nice,
but not very good.
And I'm Ready To Take A Chance Again,
Ready to put my love on the line with you.
Been living with nothing to show for it;
You get what you get when you go for it,
And I'm Ready To Take Chance Again with you.
When she left me in all my despair,
I just h eld on,
My hopes were all gone.
Then I found you there.
And I'm Ready To Take A Chance Again
Ready To Take A Chance AGain with you,
With you.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Kiss me, my fool!

New Year's Eve is coming up in a couple of days.

When one searches on Google random things can pop up.

I like this word. . . a lot.

Sometimes I experience this. . . then, sadness strikes. One cannot do this alone.

Here's to ringing in 2014 kissing my pillow.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

What was on your Christmas list?

Mancub has never written an endless list of wants for Christmas or birthdays. He'll name a couple very specific items and be done. That was always a source of mild frustration when family members wanted to know what to buy him. I'd always buy the two or three items listed which left nada for the kinfolk to purchase. Gift cards aren't fun to unwrap, but manage to do the trick.

This year was more difficult because my 19 year old, regardless of how many times I asked, didn't give me a list. He couldn't even muster a simple suggestion.


Time was dwindling to shop aka order things online.

I should tell you right now that while I do enjoy new footwear, clothes, this n' thats, shopping is not my favorite thing. Going to the grocery store is painful. Maybe it is sensory overload. Perhaps there's too much threat of running into people that'll hinder the task at hand. Whatever it is, shopping until I drop only takes a few minutes.

OK, back to Christmas shopping for Mancub. He wouldn't or couldn't give me suggestions. He cited that school was occupying all of his brain energy. Oof! Relying on my memory of the past year's moments of "when we have enough money can we get ....."

A TV. The one we had was retrieved from the curbside by my brother in law many years ago. It worked perfectly for many years, but from time to time a green blob would appear on the left side of the screen. We'd just pretend the character on the screen was related to Shrek. Magnavox to the rescue. Decent reviews and reasonable price. Done!

Video game. He had one of the newer Pokemon games for his 3DSiXL, but not the other. Woot! Found it on sale online.

Nutcrackers. The boy fell in love with a tiny nutcracker ornament that hung on our tree when he was about 2 yrs old. Not always diligent in bestowing a new one each year, he has been given a new one every couple of years. In 2013 I made up for lost time and he received four. Two traditional styles and two Star Wars style: Yoda and Darth Vader. He loved those the most.

Every college student needs a flash drive. So, why not make it a special flash drive? had Star Wars and DC Comics styles... Star Wars was sold out. I settled for Batman. Still very cool and it made the boy chuckle.

Without a list or even a mere suggestion Mancub managed a decent Christmas haul. Was he surprised with all of the gifts? He was amazed to get what he got, but as for the contents in the packages? Not really. The big box gave away the TV and I did inquire which Pokemon game he had bought recently. Duh. Sue me for not being the most subtle person. The unique style of nutcrackers brought about big smiles.

What did Santa bring me? Hey, Santa takes care of herself. New boots. A couple new dresses -- all clearance items, naturally. Full price? Shut your mouth.
There was one eensy weensy splurge for da mama., once again. Based off one of my favorite movies THE PRINCESS BRIDE... pint glasses with the title on one side and the phrase "contents may contain iocane powder" with a Dread Pirate Roberts motif on the other.

I am certain the hard cider tastes better in this glass