Rapier's Wit

Holy cats, Batman! 🤯Has it really been 4 years since my last entry? Yes. It is long overdue...much like the Tropic of Cancer in that one Seinfeld episode. Is it ironic that my last post was about working at my local public library?  My gracious! So much has happened since that last post. For one, I no longer work for the library. I do, however, miss the camaraderie of the place and the level of family-like vibe. I worked several jobs and never found a fit. The library was the closest, but I still felt unsettled. Having worked in the same place for 21 years where I felt frustrated and underappreciated may be the reason I just refused to settle. I mean, if I am going to work until the day I die, I better make it a place that sparks joy. My current place of employment provides that and I have the greatest co-worker. That is correct. Singular.  I am co-owner of a resale and consignment shop. It sort of just happened. Working for myself is so different! I've always been employed...

I adore my Wednesdays. You may wonder why. Most people celebrate TGIF! FRI-YAY!! Fridays are okay, too. However, Wednesdays mean I am off work from the office. I get to sleep in (dogs willing). Easing into the day rather than racing to beat the clock. Wednesday means a cup of coffee tastes better because I can sip and enjoy it while watching WGN Morning News. I still have to go to work, but it is my day to work at the library. My happy workplace. As I have stated before, full-time status is not possible so I sought out employment elsewhere. Luckily, I managed to maintain my job at KPL (Kankakee Public Library). What makes it my happy place? The environment is unlike any other place I have worked. Positivity. A warm, welcoming staff. It possesses a culture unlike anywhere else. Treasuring hump-day has put many things in perspective. Still having to work yet finding myself relaxed and happy brought on an epiphany, if you will. I was presented with such contrasting work pl...

It is 12: 05 as I begin to write this. A new year has begun. Woo-freakin'-hoo! Once upon a time I viewed each new year as a welcome to hopeful new beginnings. Now, it is more about me screwing up while writing a check. ** The neighborhood yay-hoos are setting off fireworks and it irritates the piss out of me. Loud booms bring me no thrill. I'm overtired which makes Miss Riss a tad cantankerous. I could have waited until daylight to start writing this, but prefer to write while inspired - good or bad . ** Set the bar low and pretty much anything relatively okay equals something faboo except in dating and dining out. 2018 wasn't a total shit show. Early in the year I quit a job that made me absolutely miserable. The people I worked with were, to be blunt, a collection of everything I never wanted to be and prayed I never encounter again. As individuals they may have been acceptable specimens, but together they defined Mean Girls. I walked away from it and have not regre...

Happy holidays! 🍷 Merry Christmas! 🎄🎅 Merry Chrstms 🍷🍷🍷 Mefry Chrimas 🍷🍷🍷 Merf chrissssssssss 🍸🍸 mmmmerrrrrrrr 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸 heh 😴

As reported on Facebook, my sleep has been filled with oddball, subconscious visions. WEIRD dreams, yo. It seemed a perfect blog topic. It could become a regular thing. If my dreams do not fulfill the spot I might suggest friends report their sleepy time oddities to me. Anonymity would be the name of the game, naturally. As for me, there's no shame in my game. Typically, my dreams aren't vivid. From time to time there will be one but recall is fleeting as I'm awakened by my 53 year old bladder. In an effort to quickly fall back to sleep once nature's call has been answered, I don't allow my brain to explore what had been experienced during nocturnal slumber. Weird dream #1: In this dream I was dating one of my favorite characters from my absolute favorite television program: Schitt's Creek. If you haven't seen it yet, but are a fan of Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara (Second City TV and Christopher Guest flick fame), you must find it. I watch it on P...

This post is from August 22, 2010! Man, what a difference 5 years makes. I've been through a lot in that time. One major change is that ... well, the change has occurred and the subject matter of the post below is moot. However, it is amusing to me all the same. I found it while looking through notes posted on Facebook. I didn't realize they existed anymore. I thought Facebook had done away with them long ago. Anyway, enjoy my ramblings about being 45 and facing hormonal changes. Also, enjoy my collar bones and singular chin in the photo to the left. I'd lost over 40 lbs. I'm mega fatter in comparison now. Sadness. Working on that again.  Right to the point: I'm a girl who has needed a check up from the neck up. Thumbing through the Yellow Pages for a shrink isn't what is inferred. Although, that would probably do me a world of good. After all, there are plenty of reasons for the manner in which I act and react to situations in my life. Knee jerk reactions t...

Today was my three month check-up. In August chemotherapy for breast cancer was completed. Oof. What a freakin' year that was for me ... for my son. Hell is a great way to describe it. I refuse to call it a journey. To me, a journey implies something fantastic and adventurous. Cancer and the treatment is torturous ride through hell. The only upside is that treatment is available, it was caught earlier enough, and I have decent insurance. Something a lot of people assume about cancer treatment is that the patient will lose weight. Nope. Not always the case and certainly not the case for breast cancer patients. Weight GAIN is most common. Whoopie! Just what a gal wants. No appetite yet you pack on the el-bees. So, I'm heavier than ever in my life. Every day is a reminder that although I am alive (thank you modern medicine), cancer will haunt me forever. Angst strikes at the most unexpected times. As anyone who has struggled with the scale, weight is difficult to lose, but it ...

No. The Rapier household does not have a washer and dryer yet. The water that comes into my house is rusty. I don't want discolored whites. Orange, in this case, is not the new black. The plumbing and water heater are all relatively new. The pipes from the main water line to the house, however, is as old as running water, I am told. So, with that in mind, I do not invest in the modern convenience of having the units in my rental home. And no, I don't want to buy additional laundry additives that takes the rust out of the wash water. I did that when we lived in the country and it ruined my cottons. Sheesh. For your viewing pleasure. He was not at the laundromat today. He's on loan from LovingMaleModels on Instagram Today was a much needed laundry day. The idea of spending my first weekend off in over six weeks (last weekend) in a laundromat held absolutely zero appeal. Additionally, the weekends are the busiest time of the week to visit said laund-O-rama. Being there d...

My house is a filth pit and I blame Netflix. For years we have had a Netflix subscription. Long before streaming was available I paid $14.99 per month to have unlimited DVDs sent to my home. The only real reason I maintained my cable subscription was for my son who was a youngster. He needed entertainment between school, homework and video games. Anyway, it was all about the movies. If there were television series available I did not bother because it seemed such a, well, a bother. Flash forward to the age of streaming video! It took me quite awhile to catch on. We accessed it through my son's Wii gaming system in the earlier days. If there wasn't a great movie available, I did not partake in what my $7.99 per month afforded. There was no original programming that I know of back then. When the makers of Arrested Development  announced they would be creating a new season exclusively for Netflix I about doo-dooed my pants. It was then that I discovered a lot more was availa...

Years ago on this blog I used this image as part of my header. In the early years it was called WildHair . With that in mind, the wigs made sense. What brings it forth today? Well, I was perusing my blog image photo album. Had I been consistent with writing a year ago, this image could have been used as I decided which hair style to don. Chemo made me bald. Most of the time I preferred not to put anything on my head because hot flashes were intense. Head coverings simply made it unbearable. Scarves and hats were my staple until I returned to work. Then, I really wanted to look less like a cancer patient and just blend in. Wigs gave me license to be playful in a way I had never been with my hair in the past. I bought long, short; dark and light auburn; brunette. NEVER blond. Not that I didn't try it out. I looked washed out and terrible. My natural hue is salt and pepper. There was consideration given to sporting that shade, but why? Why not be adventurous? After what I had en...

If you've been following this blog since forever ago then you'll know that on a whim I nicknamed my breasts Thelma and Louise. It was a joke during a conversation I had with a guy online back in the late 90s. It started by laughing at the weird things men name their junk. Thelma and Louise seemed far more appropriate than Laverne and Shirley. With that out of the way, please understand that I have never been shy discussing my boobalas. It is like ignoring the 800 pound gorilla in the room.  Usually, the discussion revolves around the impossibility of finding a bra that truly suits me (hence the secondary title of this blog) and the difficulty in wearing pretty much any shirt, sweater, jacket, etc... Today, the Girls need to have a serious talk with all of you. When I was 19 a lump was found in my left breast. Immediately, my gynecologist was notified, he examined me and sent me to a general surgeon the same day. Within a week the lump was subjected to a needle biopsy whic...

Oh dear me! This week has been a smack in the head emotionally. Mother's Day is often such a struggle for me. On one hand, I am ecstatic to have a son who loves and respects me. He fills me with so much pride. On the other hand, losing my own mother in 1981causes me such emotional turmoil from time to time. Not often, but when it strikes it strikes hard. The other day on Facebook I shared that my final memory of my mother was that in the hospital where she spent her last days. She was ravaged with cancer and in dire pain even with pain medication. Toward the very end I wasn't permitted to visit her. However, the time I was allowed in her room she had pushed me away after I hugged her because I was hurting her. It isn't the memory I want to hold on to, but it is there. As her last child, the youngest of eight, there's no doubt she had her reasons. My siblings have assured me, while it wasn't what I wanted, it is what our mother felt was best for me ... or her. It ...

...glitter on the mattress... Not so fast, cowboy!! The other night the snow was falling as I drove home from work. The temperature was below 15°F. The flakes were small, but not pellet like. Going the speed limit on I-57 wasn't optional. There was no rush to get home because the headlights shining on the freshly fallen snow was magical. Wet, big flakes don't have the same sparkle quality of the colder snow. If you live in a region where it snows you will understand. Don't laugh. For once in my life it seemed as if the roads were paved with glitter just for me. Shut up. I said don't laugh. When you're a woman like me, you have to find moments that make you feel exquisitely special. Those moments often have to be created in the mind. If only it could have been captured in a photo. The snow causes the world to hush. I loathe the cold, but snow brings with it something so ... comforting. At last my path was lined with glitter. I took it as a sign from...

Hello, 2014! Welcome to my life. You bring with you the promise of clean pages on which to write. I won't leave the old chapters behind, but it is time for a new book to be written. A new saga in a series. In general, grand resolutions aren't made in the house of Riss. However, seeing it as a marker for a new start suits me. Making promises and not keeping them seems foolish. Why not adopt something that will bring enlightenment and joy? As I said in yesterday's post, I am ready to take a chance again. Throw some caution to the wind and let my heart soar instead of being sore. Who's with me? Anybody wanna jump on the new attitude train? I was going to say the Riss-train, but that would some how be turned into a perverse notion and the next thing you know invitations to partake in a human centipede would arrive. Yeesh. As part of my new attitude campaign, the look of this blog has changed. It is a tad spiffier and spruced up. We've parted ways with th...

Wow! That's one hell of a post title, eh? It is the morning of New Year's Eve. Snow is on the ground. Temperature is in the teens. Winter is on a hormonal roller coaster. But enough about the weather. 2013. It is almost history. What have I done with the last 364 days? There are the typical things that comes with being a single mom. My son graduated from high school and started college. Work became more demanding and with that came the revelation that I do not seem to fit corporate jargon filled mentality. With that I must either adapt or seek employment elsewhere. My employment woes is not what this post is about. " What is it about, Marissa? I'm already bored? " This is about what 2013 brought for Marissa the female. The single woman. The mom stuff aside. None of the manager crud. I am talking about the chick... the wo-man that has been stifled. This is about putting it out there and getting my swerve on. Do you catch the drift now? No! It does...

New Year's Eve is coming up in a couple of days. When one searches on Google random things can pop up. I like this word. . . a lot. Sometimes I experience this. . . then, sadness strikes. One cannot do this alone. Here's to ringing in 2014 kissing my pillow.

Mancub has never written an endless list of wants for Christmas or birthdays. He'll name a couple very specific items and be done. That was always a source of mild frustration when family members wanted to know what to buy him. I'd always buy the two or three items listed which left nada for the kinfolk to purchase. Gift cards aren't fun to unwrap, but manage to do the trick. This year was more difficult because my 19 year old, regardless of how many times I asked, didn't give me a list. He couldn't even muster a simple suggestion. Egads! Time was dwindling to shop aka order things online. I should tell you right now that while I do enjoy new footwear, clothes, this n' thats, shopping is not my favorite thing. Going to the grocery store is painful. Maybe it is sensory overload. Perhaps there's too much threat of running into people that'll hinder the task at hand. Whatever it is, shopping until I drop only takes a few minutes. OK, back to Chr...

This looks nothing like my dental experience...the chair is all wrong Today was our sixth month cleaning at the dentist. The folks there always treat us as if they see us weekly. I don't know if they keep dossiers on their patients or they are just that good. Granted, we have been going to this particular dentist for quite a few years. Still, considering we only see him every six months or so, he remembers conversations we've had. That brings me to today's chat with the dentist. After the hygienist picked, flicked, flossed and polished my choppers, dentist extraordinaire came in asking if I was still doing the Beachbody thing. After referring to my pudginess with an uncomfortable chuckle, I told him no. See, we'd babbled between drilling and filling (and other dental things that might sound sexual), we discussed what was once my weight loss success. I guess when a person is stretched back in a chair with a light shining in their face, weight loss is noticeable.....

The other day I received a wrong number text. Instead of being quick by telling the sender 'wrong number,' I got creative like all those people who end up on Tumblr and Buzz Feed. First, I had to high tail it to Google and search a photo. My initial thought was an image depicting a person excited about cookies. Search: COOKIES Enter the screenshot. Hmmm That photo wasn't going to do the ... WAIT A MINUTE! Wait a cotton pickin' booger flickin' minute! What is Google suggesting as a related search? Let me point it out Who would have thunk to add THAT to cookies or any baked goods. I imagine Martha Stewart sitting at her kitchen counter after a tryst with the gardener or the butcher ... ya know, she's whipping up a post-coital snack to rev back up to go in for a second round...and BAM! What ever could she do with excess semen? You're welcome! Now we both have that disturbing image in our heads. Ho, ho, ho. Here's the screenshot of the te...

The other night while babbling with a friend on the phone we segued into things that annoy us. Some stuff is personally unique while other items are likely commonplace irritants for many. Off the top of my head few things sprang to mind. As the days have marched on I managed to make a mental list.  Oh, you think Thanksgiving Day doesn't seem to be the right day of the year to voice those little things that eat away at me? Ask yourself for as long as you've known me have you seen me follow the typical path? When everyone else is posting heartfelt, earnest posts, I want it to be known that I'm different. If that irks you... oops. You are reading the wrong blog. OK. Shall we commence with the Rissues list of November 2013? Whispering in movies and commercials. I don't know what it is, but it makes me ears bleed... and mother like son. It drives Mancub mad, too. Couples who share a Facebook, social network, email account. You never know which one of them ...