Thursday, November 28, 2013

Quirks, Jerks and other irks

The other night while babbling with a friend on the phone we segued into things that annoy us. Some stuff is personally unique while other items are likely commonplace irritants for many. Off the top of my head few things sprang to mind. As the days have marched on I managed to make a mental list. 

Oh, you think Thanksgiving Day doesn't seem to be the right day of the year to voice those little things that eat away at me? Ask yourself for as long as you've known me have you seen me follow the typical path? When everyone else is posting heartfelt, earnest posts, I want it to be known that I'm different. If that irks you... oops. You are reading the wrong blog.

OK. Shall we commence with the Rissues list of November 2013?
  • Whispering in movies and commercials. I don't know what it is, but it makes me ears bleed... and mother like son. It drives Mancub mad, too.

  • Couples who share a Facebook, social network, email account. You never know which one of them is posting... sometimes they'll sign their posts so you know, but that's just equally annoying. It's like signing your homework so the teacher knows who deserves the grade. It's not as if you have to pay for the services. Having additional accounts won't be a financial burden. It's OK to be individuals. Is it a trust thing? Share your passwords. Be open-books, but for all that is right and holy, stop with the joint accounts. I'm sure you have your reasons, but just know most people think it is weird and confusing. My bet is that people who do this ironically have separate banking accounts.
  • Food allergies happen. I am fortunate enough not to have any. You're on a strict diet because you choose to be on one. I get it. Personal choices and all that jive. You eat for health. Again, I can dig it. My suggestion is don't go out to eat if it is that troubling! Dining out is such a pain with you! I cringe for wait staff when you begin your order even if I'm at another table and I just happen to overhear. Please refrain from making it a three ring circus every time you go out to eat. Relinquish a little control. Your poor server can only protect your sensitive innards so much. When you sound like Sally ordering food, I don't want to dine with you. Such nonsense pisses off exhausted and likely overworked kitchen staff. By association I don't want unspeakable things done to MY food because you're such a PITA. Stay home. Cook your own food. Stop making the experience miserable for the rest of us. Mmmmkay? Thanks.
  • Kiss-talk-smacking in movies or on television. It falls into the same area of that whispering thing. It just sounds gross. At the moment no specific example comes to mind for me to search on YouTube to post. Sorry. If my son was awake he'd probably be able to name 15 such instances in movies. Yes, he is also aggravated by it.
This next one is HUGE! Brace yourselves.

  • I first noticed it while watching that dreck of a program Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo. The bastardization of words. Abbreviations of words that aren't long to begin with. It's not as if they are saying DNA in full form (deoxyribonucleic acid).  Is it because she was so undernourished she couldn't fully say gorgeous, major, vacation, totally, jealous? .. the list goes on. Well, that effing trend took off and I hear it and see it EVERYWHERE!

    If you write in a comment "OMG I am totes jelly u went on vacay!! Ur hair is gorg gurl." Just know that, secretly, I am punching you in your genitals. I may love you to the moon and back, but your balls or ovaries have been mentally obliterated. 

With great apology and regret, I overuse internet acronyms.

There you have it! What makes your inner time bomb tick?

Happy Thanksgiving! Blessings to all ... and to all a good sense of humor.

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