Thursday, November 28, 2013

Quirks, Jerks and other irks

The other night while babbling with a friend on the phone we segued into things that annoy us. Some stuff is personally unique while other items are likely commonplace irritants for many. Off the top of my head few things sprang to mind. As the days have marched on I managed to make a mental list. 

Oh, you think Thanksgiving Day doesn't seem to be the right day of the year to voice those little things that eat away at me? Ask yourself for as long as you've known me have you seen me follow the typical path? When everyone else is posting heartfelt, earnest posts, I want it to be known that I'm different. If that irks you... oops. You are reading the wrong blog.

OK. Shall we commence with the Rissues list of November 2013?
  • Whispering in movies and commercials. I don't know what it is, but it makes me ears bleed... and mother like son. It drives Mancub mad, too.

  • Couples who share a Facebook, social network, email account. You never know which one of them is posting... sometimes they'll sign their posts so you know, but that's just equally annoying. It's like signing your homework so the teacher knows who deserves the grade. It's not as if you have to pay for the services. Having additional accounts won't be a financial burden. It's OK to be individuals. Is it a trust thing? Share your passwords. Be open-books, but for all that is right and holy, stop with the joint accounts. I'm sure you have your reasons, but just know most people think it is weird and confusing. My bet is that people who do this ironically have separate banking accounts.
  • Food allergies happen. I am fortunate enough not to have any. You're on a strict diet because you choose to be on one. I get it. Personal choices and all that jive. You eat for health. Again, I can dig it. My suggestion is don't go out to eat if it is that troubling! Dining out is such a pain with you! I cringe for wait staff when you begin your order even if I'm at another table and I just happen to overhear. Please refrain from making it a three ring circus every time you go out to eat. Relinquish a little control. Your poor server can only protect your sensitive innards so much. When you sound like Sally ordering food, I don't want to dine with you. Such nonsense pisses off exhausted and likely overworked kitchen staff. By association I don't want unspeakable things done to MY food because you're such a PITA. Stay home. Cook your own food. Stop making the experience miserable for the rest of us. Mmmmkay? Thanks.
  • Kiss-talk-smacking in movies or on television. It falls into the same area of that whispering thing. It just sounds gross. At the moment no specific example comes to mind for me to search on YouTube to post. Sorry. If my son was awake he'd probably be able to name 15 such instances in movies. Yes, he is also aggravated by it.
This next one is HUGE! Brace yourselves.

  • I first noticed it while watching that dreck of a program Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo. The bastardization of words. Abbreviations of words that aren't long to begin with. It's not as if they are saying DNA in full form (deoxyribonucleic acid).  Is it because she was so undernourished she couldn't fully say gorgeous, major, vacation, totally, jealous? .. the list goes on. Well, that effing trend took off and I hear it and see it EVERYWHERE!

    If you write in a comment "OMG I am totes jelly u went on vacay!! Ur hair is gorg gurl." Just know that, secretly, I am punching you in your genitals. I may love you to the moon and back, but your balls or ovaries have been mentally obliterated. 

With great apology and regret, I overuse internet acronyms.

There you have it! What makes your inner time bomb tick?

Happy Thanksgiving! Blessings to all ... and to all a good sense of humor.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Whoa! Hold on cowboy!

  • Conversation started August 1
  • Davis Clark Ben
    Davis Clark Ben

    Hi Beauty Angel,
    Sweet, lovely, honest, trust, caring, kind and enduring is you and I hope you are in good health. Am Engineer Davis Clark and am from the United Kingdom. I work as an Engineer with Mobil Exxon. I am a single Dad and my wife died after 2yrs i was divorced and I have being praying for a new love to come by. I don't know why am telling you all these but just want to be open minded with you. Precisely, am not getting any younger and my dream is to have a wife i can called my own which i will spend all my life with, my wealth and the rest of my life.
    Your profile struck my eyes and went straight to my heart. You really look like someone who is easy going with and just like in my dreams and what I desire although its weird am telling you this for my first letter to you but like I said I want to be open minded and not hiding in shadows.
    I love Vacation, Outing with family, Beach Walk as well as Shopping. I love a Lady who enjoy spending time with her family and wants to share Travel, Passion, Fine Food, Intellectual Conversation with a good Bottle of Red Wine as well as sitting in front of the fireplace and growing old together. My wish here is to get involve in a serious relationship or wish to meet a lady who intend to get married. Apart from my work am a very loving and caring person and I can give to you the best of love you have never felt before. I guess my letter is not getting boring to you but loving. Just email me back if you accept me.
    I will keep my desire for my next letter. I love and cherish u....Kisssssssss...mmmmmm
    Eng. Devis clark.
DAMN IT! Another missed opportunity sent to Facebook's "other messages" folder. Do you think he's still single? He dispenses his words like a Pez dispenser shoots out flavored, rectangular chalk bits. Wow. Sit in front of a fireplace growing old? Damn, damn, damn.