Rapier's Wit

Razors are expensive. If you go to the drugstore or super store, they are in special dispensing shelving units. Some even go so far as having a lock on them. My guess is they are considered a high dollar item that is easily shoved in pockets. Cheap razors delivered to your door are available from a couple different companies. The one that caught my attention is Dollar Shave Club.  The original  commercial was clever. The others that followed were equally humorous. I've been a member for a couple of years. The package I opt for is the four blade razor. That is only $6.00 per shipment. My body hair has never been wild and woolly. If I chose to, I could easily count the hairs on my legs. Ever since chemo, my underarm hair barely exists. Luckily, the hair on my head came back thicker!  OK, so back to shaving. Monthly shipments are unnecessary since I'm far from wolfy. Each shipment received comes with a nifty bathroom reader called The Bathroom Minutes . It is like t...

Mancub has never written an endless list of wants for Christmas or birthdays. He'll name a couple very specific items and be done. That was always a source of mild frustration when family members wanted to know what to buy him. I'd always buy the two or three items listed which left nada for the kinfolk to purchase. Gift cards aren't fun to unwrap, but manage to do the trick. This year was more difficult because my 19 year old, regardless of how many times I asked, didn't give me a list. He couldn't even muster a simple suggestion. Egads! Time was dwindling to shop aka order things online. I should tell you right now that while I do enjoy new footwear, clothes, this n' thats, shopping is not my favorite thing. Going to the grocery store is painful. Maybe it is sensory overload. Perhaps there's too much threat of running into people that'll hinder the task at hand. Whatever it is, shopping until I drop only takes a few minutes. OK, back to Chr...

A little over a week ago I received a phone call at work.  The voice on the other end offered me a promotion.  Out of left field and in a flash I became a manager.  It's pretty stinking cool because in the past there were some hoops to jump through in order to obtain a higher position. However, the powers that be can and will change the rules when necessary.  And this time I benefited from such a decision.  What's really surprising to me is how quickly my mind and focus shifted from " time to make the donuts " mentality to " what am I going to do today that will strengthen our team ?"  What's even better is my overall sense of purpose.  Finally, it feels like I can make a difference. With more energy being exerted on my career, I am actually able to focus better on the home front and declutter my life both physically and spiritually.  Now more than ever there's an empowerment toward being a living, breathing Wonder Woman . I truly feel it wa...

Yesterday I lamented how it seems in the world of dating I am a poster child for Murphy's Law.  Thanks to the Internet, we're now (and have been) able to meet people around the globe.  No longer do we have to wait for happenstance to introduce us -- vacations, business trips, etc...Simply log on to a social network and the doors of hospitality open. It's a work in progress and who knows how it will all unfold. hmmm I wonder how I can incorporate a vacation with Mancub into the mix :)  Now, for the stupidstitious thing that left me with a smackerel feeling of angst.  Mancub and I went out for some low key retail therapy.  It's unusual for me to indulge in this sort of activity. In typical fashion, I spent the majority on the boy.  Target had some cool, vintage looking t-shirts. He selected Captain America and Ghostbusters shirts. I got a hypoallergenic eyeliner (woo! big spender) and stocked up on allergy meds and the like.  I'm a maniac!  In a...

I'm feeling anxious and full of angst.  My pulse is racing but not in an excited, joyful manner.  I'm pretty sure it's not a rush of caffeine. I had less than usual. Maybe it's just residual spazattack from yesterday's onslaught of visually impaired people requiring new spectacles two days before Christmas. Perhaps it's concern over the weather (ice storm and flooding) potentially preventing Mancub and I traveling on Christmas day.  Possibly -- most likely -- it's caused from not being able to afford gifts for my family members.  Normally I would overextend my checking account just to save the embarrassment of admitting I don't have money to make purchases for anyone other than my son.  With the cutbacks at work, that was hardly manageable and I thank God for the angels in my life. This year I baked.  As I said in an earlier post celebrating our cookie creations, I've never made sugar cookies from scratch.  We baked a fresh batch and colorfully de...

I pray that PETM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Muppets) doesn't come hunting for me.  I'm convinced that one -- or four -- of Jim Henson's creations was killed to make my warm, cozy, very pink house socks (that's what the tag read -- house socks).  Is it possible that a cute and delightful entertainer of children was sacrificed for the comfort of my tootsies? Perhaps a kinfolk to Elmo?

It's Sunday morning and all I hear is the hum of the furnace. When I awoke before 6 AM, I got my coffee brewing and crawled back into bed. A half hour later it was apparent that dozing off wasn't going to happen.  Once my brain is alerted that it's a new day it just won't shut off.  By nature I am not a list maker, but jotting mental notes is not unheard of. The bad thing about that is the task needs to be committed right away or it will be forgotten.  Tiny Post-It Notes line my computer monitor. Sometimes the notations actually make enough sense to jar my memory.  One of them says "new coffee pot."  The current model makes the java juice OK, but it leaks all over the counter.  I have an incontinent coffee maker.  Bounty Paper Towels to the rescue.  While laying in bed, the thought occurred to me to price Keurigs .  I know they are pricey, but a girl can dream.  This line of thinking drove me to daydream about other small appliances t...

Fun Slides Carpet Skates : Make sure your insurance is paid up and get your stories straight before taking the kids to the emergency room. I'm sure my brother would just love if I sent his 3 boys each a pair of these to use in the same room the HDTV is housed. HD Vision Night Wraparounds This item is perfect for the guy who buys the sports car when he's in denial of his mid-life crisis. All the young babes will be salivating when he walks through the doors of the club wearing these over his no-line bifocal specs. Nothing says "I'll be your sugar daddy" like these urine colored lenses. Lens Doctor DO NOT USE THIS CRAP! I cannot stress this enough. You might as well throw the $14.95 it costs directly into a shredder. Your lenses will be ruined and then you'll come to me at my place of business frustrated that I can't remove the dried goop on the lenses that causes you severely blurred vision. S'Mores Maker Really? Are you that much of a d...

Last year I didn't even bother putting up a Christmas tree.  The year prior, kitties decided that knocking ornaments off and destroying them was a far better idea than just admiring them as they dangled from the twinkling branches.  With twenty more days before the mythical fat-man descends from his toy shop in the frozen tundra of the North Pole, I figured my weekend off could be spent trying to turn our domicile into a place of festive lights and adornment.  The tree will likely be left out another year.  Our cats may be older, but they are still creatures of nature with an inclination to climb and toy with anything that wiggles. So, with Mancub's small collection of nutcrackers displayed, I think we can make a go of putting forth the image that the Christmas spirit is alive and well at Casa Marissa. I'll string lights where the cats can't bother them, as well as, garland around the tops of the windows.  Majestic? Not hardly. I know for certain that my on...

I've probably given the impression that I'm not a shop-a-holic. Finding styles that I like in my size isn't limited to bras. I'm tall and have plenty of junk in my trunk.  That combo makes finding really stylish clothing a hassle. But my dislike of shopping isn't limited to personal fashions.  What's involved in shopping is a lot of math. Meaning I deliberate thusly: I worked X number of hours to earn the money item Q costs. No item is alluring to me unless a deep discount is attached to it.  If I'm not going to get tons of use out of the item I usually pass it by.  Grocery shopping makes me break out in hives... Thank you ALDI for making this experience less itchy and scratchy. I'm big fan of shopping online. Quite often I can find items far less expensive than what's available in stores. I watch for FREE SHIPPING and easy returns.  A rush overcomes me when I get to the check out and it ask "do you have a coupon" -- and I DO!! But when ...

Ho, ho, ho, and falalalala abound no matter where I turn.  Santa made his arrival at the mall yesterday. I thought the old, jolly fat man wasn't allowed to make an appearance prior to Black Friday.  Economic strain has overridden tradition, I guess.  Christmas parades are commencing a week early, too. Once again my holiday equilibrium is thrown off. Growing up, our household traditions were upheld by Mom. We always turned to her to keep the season merry and bright.  When she passed away after a short battle with cancer, nothing was the same. It was enough to attempt to pull ourselves together emotionally let alone try to carry on the traditions that Mom made so perfect. Those traditions couldn't be carried out if she wasn't there to execute them. As I've matured and built a household of my own, I've been incapable of duplicating the spirit that Mom embodied.  When I was married and had a newborn child, the hope of creating our own traditions filled me with s...

Handerpants ! Handerpants !! HANDERPANTS !!! Great for the aspiring magician, magician's assistant, booger flicker, gardener, weed wacking (not recommended for other wacking -- the cotton is soft, but not that soft -- wink wink .) Folks, this is for real. It's no Chia Pet or Pet Rock, but wouldn't it make a perfect stocking stuffer for that friend who has it all? And while you're wasting your money, order a Snuggie! What a great companion piece :P

I've not given much attention to the subtitle of my blog. Well, I have discussed my life and love-ish stuff, but what's been tossed to the side like a raggedy pair of undies is my ongoing quest for the perfect bra. There is a plethora of styles, colors and sizes available. The issue, as you all know, is perfect fit. I've made costly purchases only to be disappointed by the internal armor nearly impaling me when I make a sudden move. Or, regardless of measurements taken prior to ordering (I haven't found a store that carries ample cup size for Thelma and Louise), the cups sag and the band squeezes my rib cage. I blame being cranky on ill fitting brassieres. Or the band rides up, the straps leave indentations and my cups runneth over. Uni-boobs and quadra-boobs do not look appealing! The last time I sought out advice regarding my hefty issue, I was directed to various websites. I received an email from one of the shop owners who had been featured in the Washington ...

Claiming to be a fashionista is not something you'll hear muttered from my pie hole. I wear what I can afford and what fits. Sometimes that's not necessarily a prerequisite. I know I'd benefit from a weekend with Trinny and Susannah ( Making Over America -- TLC). Goddesses of fashion and self-love/body image affirmation. With that being said, I often question what other people put on their bodies. Today was one of those occasions. Working in a mall affords me location and time to observe, unknowingly, passers by. Upon first glance I thought this woman in her mid twenties was sporting a fashion I thought ridiculous in the '80s -- unless you were a dancer or Jennifer Beals. What I thought I saw was leg warmers worn over thong sandals. Au contraire, mon ami! They were one piece boots. Sandal boots. I ask you, what the hell is the point? I wear sandals to avoid the whole sock issue! Summer = airy footwear. I'm thinking that without use of stockings there...

I'm not at home. For those thieves who might know where I live, don't bother. There's nothing of real value there. Plus, consider yourselves warned if you're immediately attacked by two felines. I can't be held responsible for their actions upon violating the security of my domicile. Silver, as some of you may remember, has a deafening yelp and howl. Perpetrators will beg for mercy. Mo-mo stops, drops and rolls in front of her assailants thereby causing a nasty spill which renders them helpless. Fear the felines. I've not felt inspired to write lately. I suspect going from my house to my sister's house is taking a toll on me. Perhaps I need to be in my comfort zone. If you read my previous post you fully grasp how my brain operates when I'm not in familiar territory. That was mighty scary. I'm going to let my mind ramble and discuss the mundane. You're giddy with anticipation, aren't you? One of the perks of being employed in optic...

I strongly dislike grocery stores. First of all, most of them are so vast that I need to pace myself and hydrate as if I'm about to participate in a marathon. Then, there's the price comparisons. I know I should take advantage of coupons, but obtaining coupons means buying the Chicago Tribune or some Sunday paper. No offense to my journalism pals, but I find newspapers cumbersome and can't read them unless I'm on the floor and have room to sprawl out. Anyway, I digress. I have a very apathetic approach to purchasing food items. The truly annoying aspect of grocery shopping is the other consumers. I'm a single mom with a very well behaved child. He's 14 and practically self-sufficient. He'll lumber around the store with me with little argument. When he was smaller he was much more of a handful and I may or may not have left a full shopping cart, ice cream sandwiches and raw chicken and all, in aisle 8 to whisk my misbehaving toddler off the premises. There in...