Pretties for my boobies

I've not given much attention to the subtitle of my blog. Well, I have discussed my life and love-ish stuff, but what's been tossed to the side like a raggedy pair of undies is my ongoing quest for the perfect bra.

There is a plethora of styles, colors and sizes available. The issue, as you all know, is perfect fit. I've made costly purchases only to be disappointed by the internal armor nearly impaling me when I make a sudden move. Or, regardless of measurements taken prior to ordering (I haven't found a store that carries ample cup size for Thelma and Louise), the cups sag and the band squeezes my rib cage. I blame being cranky on ill fitting brassieres. Or the band rides up, the straps leave indentations and my cups runneth over. Uni-boobs and quadra-boobs do not look appealing!

The last time I sought out advice regarding my hefty issue, I was directed to various websites. I received an email from one of the shop owners who had been featured in the Washington Post after I pleaded for help. I had forgotten that I signed up to receive catalogues from a lingerie company based in the United Kingdom. Bravissimo to the rescue!! Obviously, I won't be jetting over there for a private fitting, but it does give me hope. Not only do they offer lingerie for the big breasted woman, but they offer nightwear, swim suits, dresses and shirts. Cute shirts, too. Not some blousey ugly crap, either. None of that Omar's Tent and Awning --Mama Cass garbage. No, these are not your ordinary frocks. They are adorable and some have real support built in. The bodices are generously cut. Each size from 8 to 18 has a variance size of Curvy, Really Curvy and Super Curvy. What that means is if your typical street dress size is a 14, you don't have to order a size 18 to suit your bodacious tatas and then have it altered. Just order your normal size Super Curvy (or whatever the guide tell you). Typical clothing manufacturers offer a wide range of sizes for nighties and cute sleepwear, but there's an assumption that heavier women are just fat and don't also have enormous breasticles that require some underpinning. The cute city dresses that are so stylish have left me behind due to my bust size. Not to mention the straps aren't wide enough to disguise my bra. Plus, to fit my gazongas, I have to buy a huge size. I might as well put on a muumuu and call it a day. I have a waistline! Why can't clothing manufacturers get that through their thick heads?

The downside of using this company by method of trial and error is that items returned have to follow overseas shipping requirements. It sounds like a lot of red tape. If it's an exchange, they won't charge more for shipping to you. That's a good thing. However, nothing ventured; nothing gained. To be honest, I am really dying to buy a cute nighty and not have my teeots bobbling to and fro nearly strangling me in my sleep. Not to mention that Mancub doesn't need more reason to seek therapy. Seeing one's mother braless can leave an indelible, emotional scar.

What question needs to be asked is, why isn't a company like this available in the United States? Sure, there are countless websites for bras and swimwear, but I've yet to stumble upon one that includes clothing fit based on the same philosophy of Bravissimo's curvy, really curvy and super curvy. It is ingenious! They recognize that women come in every shape and size. Large breasts do not necessarily mean equally large waists. Because of these questions, I can't help but feel my mission in life isn't in creating quality eyewear, but delivering eye popping-life altering under garments and outer wear for the big boobied babe. Now, how to get this endeavor under way ...

photo borrowed from adland.com Bravissimo says they take pride in following Dove's Embracing Real Beauty campaign.