Today was my three month check-up. In August chemotherapy for breast cancer was completed. Oof. What a freakin' year that was for me ... for my son. Hell is a great way to describe it. I refuse to call it a journey. To me, a journey implies something fantastic and adventurous. Cancer and the treatment is torturous ride through hell. The only upside is that treatment is available, it was caught earlier enough, and I have decent insurance.
Something a lot of people assume about cancer treatment is that the patient will lose weight. Nope. Not always the case and certainly not the case for breast cancer patients. Weight GAIN is most common. Whoopie! Just what a gal wants. No appetite yet you pack on the el-bees.
So, I'm heavier than ever in my life. Every day is a reminder that although I am alive (thank you modern medicine), cancer will haunt me forever. Angst strikes at the most unexpected times. As anyone who has struggled with the scale, weight is difficult to lose, but it is one thing that is in my control. The lovely nurse practitioner at my oncologist office told me to focus on the things I can control. However, help is needed. This is not something that can be done all on my own. Admitting that fact, according to my oncologist, is the first step to achieving. Go me! I took the first step.
In response to my admission of needing guidance and accountability, the NP referred me to a nutritionist that will likely be covered by insurance. Woot! Another win. I told her that food is my lover, best friend and go-to drug.
Turning 50 brings a lot of junk. Oh, I am incredibly grateful to see the big 5-0! However, it also marks the year of the colonoscopy. Chemotherapy catapulted me into menopause, too. Who doesn't love a sauna surge a few times a day? No longer do I contribute to supporting the feminine hygiene industry. Another portion of my follow-up routine post cancer is getting all the lipids, cholesterol, blah blah blood work done, and yes, getting a camera crammed up my pooper.
As my dearest friend Tom reminded me, I have lost weight and got myself healthy before and I will do it again. I just need to start and not to pressure myself. I just need to start.