Special Christmas Cookies

The other day I received a wrong number text. Instead of being quick by telling the sender 'wrong number,' I got creative like all those people who end up on Tumblr and Buzz Feed.

First, I had to high tail it to Google and search a photo. My initial thought was an image depicting a person excited about cookies.
Search: COOKIES
Enter the screenshot.

Hmmm That photo wasn't going to do the ... WAIT A MINUTE! Wait a cotton pickin' booger flickin' minute! What is Google suggesting as a related search? Let me point it out


Who would have thunk to add THAT to cookies or any baked goods.

I imagine Martha Stewart sitting at her kitchen counter after a tryst with the gardener or the butcher ... ya know, she's whipping up a post-coital snack to rev back up to go in for a second round...and BAM! What ever could she do with excess semen?

You're welcome! Now we both have that disturbing image in our heads. Ho, ho, ho.

Here's the screenshot of the text:

I was seriously considering buying cookie dough from a stranger


(I know now after searching the subject that there was a despicable crime attached to 'semen cookies' and this is in no way shape or form an attempt to minimize the severity of the crime perpetrated. Don't put a hex on me or beat me with rosaries. I just write what pops in my head at the moment it happens. Get off me.)

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