Sunday, November 2, 2008

I get it! You're intense

While showering I always listen to the radio. If I was up to date on the techno gadgets I wouldn't have to rely on FM radio to pump the tunes into the lavatory while I cleanse myself. Sadly, finances and lack of knowledge have me trapped. Due to my locale, I'm voluntarily entwined with the most lame of radio stations: POP radio. ::insert blood curdling scream::
I was lathering up my tresses when the strains (literally) of David Cook's new song LIGHT ON was being played. Dude, ease up. Stop screaming. I understand you're intense, but my larynx aches from simply hearing your tune.
Yesterday a similar thing happened while I was forced to listen to country music radio. It's bad enough that the uber twangers try so hard to be witty in their attempts to turn a phrase, but Carrie Underwood needs to shut the frak up! Jeez, girl! I imagine your head exploding a la SCANNERS when you sing. Every-freaking-note-is-excruciatingly L O U D!
In that same vein we have pop princess Kelly Clarkson. Pick a song. I guarantee it makes my head throb in the same manner Bruce Banner aka The Hulk bulks out when he's enraged.
I realize the three artists listed are all American Idol winners. The crime against my cochlea aren't isolated to that program. To mention a few repeat offenders: Celine Dion; Christina Aguilera; Nickelback; Martina McBride.
Is that truly what people want to hear? Louder is better? I know there are people who think by speaking more loudly that they are making a stronger point. Who told these performers that making the public's eardrums rupture a little at a time is a good thing?
I get it! You're emoting. I understand that you're delivering intensity. Great. Now, please. I beg of you. Shut the f*ck up! (or at least learn how to express yourselves without screaming at me.)
image borrowed from david trent's blog I have no idea who he is and haven't read his blog. I Googled and it delivered.

7 comments:

  1. Makes the gentle suggestion of tuning in your local NPR station, just sayin' ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't believe you're dissing your American Idol peeps.. LOL! Whatever will your favorite pop music critic say? I think you'll change your tune come January when the new season starts;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, I'm strictly in the American Idol viewing for the blog snarking. Although, I think my favorite pop music critic gave Carrie Underwear decent reviews. It is my firm belief that he was distracted by her gams.

    Kat, wise suggestion. Now. where do I find that on my lame radio?

    ReplyDelete
  4. The fact that you lump Martina McBride in with Carrie Underwhelm and this Cook flailer, makes it obvious that you are incapable of rational thought. Pity that you have chosen this platform and idium for your spewings. Usually, one has to visit a bowling alley to encounter a person of your blatant musical critiquing abilities. Please, shut up. Nobody cares.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rupe thinks you lied to him, MissRiss.

    Rupe knew not you were incapable of rational thought!

    Rupe knew notyou spewed!

    Rupe knew notyou frequented bowling alleys nor that your musical critiquing abilities were blatant! (Translation: Your ear for music is tastelessly conspicuous. But ......... we all knew that .....)

    Betcha that monkeyhead "Anonymous" didn't even notice your bangs. If'n s/he did, s/he'd've known you are more than incapable.

    Oh. And "Anonymous"? Betcha it's Dr. Stella Pang. That bitch owes me $35 ....

    Rupes ssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to the 2009 Idol winner ..... so you can "lump" her/him in with other whiney, twangy country brethren ... like Marina and Carrie.

    Come On January .............. Ruprecht

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes, Rupe has a problem spelling and applying punctuation and spacing this afternoon.

    It's okay, though. Don't worry: "Anonymous" will rake me over the coals for it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Never mind about the singers, I'm still thinking about you in the shower.......

    ReplyDelete

Say what!?