Analyze This

Far Side cartoon by Dave Larson

Earlier today I stated in a post that I had the kookiest dreams. I said I had three, but I can't remember the third one. I knew I should have written it down when I woke up. Oh well, I brain farted. At least it wasn't a shart! I would have forgotten all of my Thera-Flu induced dreams.

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Riss, the Obamas ... and John Edwards
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It's obvious I was in my home, but it wasn't exactly like the place I'm living in now. The doorbell rang, which doesn't work in my current home. I opened the door and gasped at the vision standing before me. Three people stood on my porch: President-elect Barack Obama, his lovely wife Michelle and John Edwards. I welcomed them and stumbled over myself with salutations, "Mr. and Mrs. Obama, it is not everyday the President-elect and his wife grace me with their presence, but add in the Vice President-elect .... ooh, sorry, Mr. Edwards. My bad." With that I screwed up my face and sucked air through my teeth accentuating my error and pity for the now infamous senator.

Upon invitation, they all sat down. Miraculously, a tray with coffee and pastries sat on the coffee table. They all seemed very relaxed and informal. It is there where it really gets bizarre. I excuse myself to shower! Yeah, while Barack Obama is sipping coffee and nibbling on coffee cake, my weird-assed self takes a shower!

While showering, I am thinking to myself how rude it is to leave such dignitaries sitting alone. I rinse, and towel off. I throw on a robe and think it'd be foul to walk out in such an ensemble. So, I put on a bra, then put on my shabby, yellow, terry cloth robe. In the midst of doing this, I hear Man-cub yucking it up with our distinguished company.

I awoke with a chuckle.

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Riss and the butcher cut

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After I fell back to sleep, I had another dream. This time I was sitting in our local mall with my sister Maureen. We were just talking as passers by mosied. For whatever reason, I had a Braun clipper set in my purse and proceeded to give myself a haircut. Maureen looked at me and mentioned that using a mirror was advisable, but I told her, "I'm fine with the feel method." I recall making certain not to put the #4 guard directly on my scalp as I didn't want my hair too short. I was pulling my hair outward and buzzzzzzz. I asked Maureen how it looked and she simply raised her brows unable to speak. I stood up and walked to a store window and gazed at my handy work. This vision is similar to what I created: