Rapier's Wit

This week is homecoming week at Mancub's high school. I'm certain this ritual is occurring across the country. During that week there is a special dress-up theme appointed to each day. I remember being excited to participate. It was a perfect ensemble for spending several nights in a classmates barn building our class float for the parade. My friends and I embraced all that was class spirit. It was often a chance to spend time with the cute boy you had a crush on while stuffing poms into chicken wire shivering and fantasizing that he'd hold your hand or offer to snuggle you close to keep you warm ... then the fumes from the aerosol spray paint can would overcome your intoxication of that day dream. The Class of '83 had the upper hand of building killer floats thanks to the designs of our classmate Jon Schultz. He had construction know how. Taking his designs and turning them into reality was a great chance to meet and bond with kids we would otherwise not get to k...

I might eventually get off this horriblescope roller coaster. I can't help that it's often so off course one day, and then the guessing can be vaguely hop back on the track. Then, there are days where the prediction is so far behind the curve that it appears out in front. This is the word of the day. "The past is coming back, not to haunt you -- but to thrill you! Whether it's an old flame returning to town to see what you're up to, an old photo you find that stirs up some hilarious memories, or even just a song on the oldies station that reminds you of summer camp, your past is suddenly very present. This is a wonderful day to travel down memory lane and let yourself remember the person you used to be -- and of course, marvel at the person you have become." For anyone who reads this blog with any regularity, you know my past is a huge part of my present. I love my friends! Here we are at the Meadowview Theater in Kankakee awaiting the start of the reinvented...

Today begins a weekend long community garage sale in Manteno, Il. I'm helping my sister today. I've packed up some goodies to toss into the mix. Most of it has belonged to Mancub. Being a man who is always looking for a means of buying more Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, he inquired if he'll reap the benefits of selling his items. Being the sucker that I am, I said yes. The weather doesn't seem to be cooperating to guarantee a great turn out. Then again, I know there are some die hard bargain hunters out there who, much like the U.S Postal Service, will not let a little bad weather deter them from their appointed rounds. Helping my sister out also helps me. I am saved from making a trip to the laundromat! Along with the crap gathered to sell, I'll be loading the car with my dirty laundry. Happy Friday! And if you're a local come buy some amazing sh-- ... great stuff! Make it an adventure! Like a Where is Waldo book. If you can find me I'll give you a prize. I'...

*thanks for the heads up, Michelle This isn't the complete song, but I get chills. It's my life's theme song, for crying out loud -- and to have it show choir format? D'oh! It couldn't be more fitting for this emotional outcast :D PS. thanks for being willing to give me a guided tour of me. It's a long haul of a tour -- you, yeah you , rock my world.

Happy GLEEday, y'all! I know there are some of you who laugh at my love of the new show GLEE. I realize some of you (obvious victims of blunt force head trauma) who don't like the program. It's OK. I forgive and still love you. This week marks the opening of the movie remake of FAME! I'll be going to see it on Friday with friends who appreciate the first movie, as well as, the television series based on the school of the arts. I'm excited! Jazz hands will be flying! It'll surely be an interesting mix of theater goers: Youth vs. more mature people who experienced FAME the first time around. Naturally, we're superior. Speaking of being aged and mature ... My back has been killing me. I have no idea what I did to get this way. I know when I had back X-rays many moons ago prior to a chiropractic adjustment, the doctor asked if I'd been in any serious car accidents. At that time, I had not. Then, he inquired about my athleticism. Early on in life I...

OK, I admit that I need to resist scrolling down my yahoo homepage to read my horoscope. I don't even recall adding it when I set the page up years ago. Maybe it is a default feature. I've had fun with it as it has been fodder for my writing. The horrible scopes give me something playful to share rather than the more intimate details. It's not that I have nothing going on that isn't worthy of being shared, but I've elected to let some facets of my life remain private. I fear jinxing myself by talking too much. Maybe I am a bit more stupidsticious, after all. Therefore, reading horoscopes isn't necessarily out of the realm of my brain function. With that being said, I'm sharing another astrological prognostication. In the last two days my horoscope told me to go out and be my charming self, but not to abuse the power that is my innate being. WOO! They went so far as telling me to teach the youth on how to properly utilize charm. Today puts a screech...

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold the phone. My panties are in a bunch. I only learned yesterday that I had charm oozing from every pore and orifice of my being and now, today, I'm told I have to teach the children well? That's a mighty daunting task. Not to mention I think permission slips would probably be required signed by the parent or guardian and notarized by a public official. Me schooling youngsters on the how to be charming is like Sharon Osborne teaching a busload of skanks how to behave like ladies. Oh. Wait. VH-1 did attempt that. TRAIN WRECK! Anyway, I digress. Here's what this boils down to: " You've been trying to taper your innate charm, but it certainly hasn't been easy. As with all else you do, however, once you get started, you're only steps away from being an expert. Now that you've learned, you might actually be so good at it, and you'll start passing out advice to others. Lend your expertise first to the young ones. " Lend my ex...

Maybe it's due to the apple crisp in the over or the fact that I am off work for an entire weekend, but today's horoscope didn't make me want to throw dishes or ... whine. Admittedly, the apple crisp really has no effect on anything other than making me salivate. I just wanted to brag that I'll be gorging on the autumnal treat when I finish this blog post. All right. The horoscope is as follows: If any sign is aware of the effect their charm has on others, it's yours. No matter how hard you try to pretend you don't know what you're doing, you really are aware of how devastatingly enchanting you've been to the lucky person you've been lavishing attention. If you're interested, then they probably already belong to you. If you're not, be merciful. Tell them you were just playing, thank them for a lovely time and get yourself home. Me? Charm!? Get the flock out! Oh wait, I'm not supposed to pretend I don't know what I'm doing. But is...

Maybe it's just me, but this video heightened my interest in frosting. What's that? I'm nuts? This is useful since I couldn't care less about the cake. Perfect tips for hand to mouth frosting feeding frenzy.

I'm so grateful for the influence my parents had on me musically. You're all aware how my heart is deeply rooted in the '80s and all the cultural impact of that decade and the early '70s with Michael Jackson, Donny Osmond, The Beatles etc... What I have touched very little on is how my parents' generation of music played a huge part in the early years of wee little Rissy. My mother had records of Tommy Dorsey and his orchestra, Perry Como. Crooners, if you will. While I don't believe her to have been a big fan of Sinatra, I think I remember a Dean Martin record tucked away in the stacks. One of my favorite movie soundtracks is from When Harry Met Sally . Harry Connick Jr channels the masters of swing. Additionally, My Best Friend's Wedding contains great covers by Ani DeFranco and Jann Arden. But my favorite of all? A song done by the king himself: Tony Bennett. He's the captain of cool. The muchacho of machismo. The man can croon, good golly....

TEN HOURS! Work wasn't a busy place, but I still had plenty to keep me relatively busy. I'd like to say my ten hour workday flew by, but it didn't. A slow and steady crawl into clock watcher central. Egads! I'm ready to pull the blankets up to my ears and snooze away the remainder of Glee-day. I'm hoping Thursday will bring me surprises and wonderful news. See, I'm keeping it positive :D My horoscope was a bit weird, by the way. If you think back to a couple days ago, this one makes no sense. The last one I posted assumed I had a lover/significant other. Then, came this: " Fanciful ideas and romantic wishes have been blooming inside your head. They're all so pretty, and it's a waste that no one sees them but you. The time is right to share them with a person who loves you the most: They really want to know more about what makes you tick, and they can tell you've been working on something in your mind. Give them a glimpse of what you'r...

Hump Day is so yesterday. Puhleeez! With consideration to the fact that so many people are working part-time jobs or, like me, work in retail or some other profession that requires weekend work, Wednesday isn't really the day of getting over the 'hump' of the week. With perversion in their minds, many people think of the hump as getting it on. As queen of the celibates, I can assure that only gives me another reason to oust the mid-week moniker. No, to me, Wednesday is GLEE -day. Fox broadcasts my new favorite show at 9:00 eastern/8:00 PM central time. As a former show choir member, it's everything I love and more! Teacher Will Schuester has the daunting task of bringing a lowly glee club back to the days of glory he once experienced when he was a member 'back in the day.' He declares that when he attended the school, "Glee ruled!" With the real threat of fine arts being back seated in our schools, it's scary that kids like I was will be str...

It's early on Tuesday morning. I usually do a lot of writing at this time, but not on my blog. Typically I am writing a response email to a friend who lives in another time zone. In fact, he's on another continent. Our emails are like conversations with delayed reactions. The words just flow and we blather in a singular format. It works much of the time. I tend to send more emails because my day is just starting when his workday is ending. I babble about my day. Let's face it, I just babble incessantly and he has yet to complain. His emails are usually long with details about the day, a recalled memory, questions or a funny anecdote. Whatever pops into our head lands on the screen to be sent. This has become part of my morning routine. Do you follow? So why am I writing here rather than there ? Work. His work. Hello!? Some people and their priorities. JEESH! Creature of habit here!! He's on the road. Short note sent to inform me that he was pressed for time...

Sing it, Natasha.

Dear Yahoo horoscope-bullshit blatherer, Please stop presuming that every one has a lover or significant other. These assumptions discredit your already questionable skills as a prognosticator. For those of us who aren't so lucky in love it is truly irritating. Quite frankly, I'm becoming rather pissed off. I was once amused by your keen ability to be vague yet ballparkishly correct. Today's horoscope for Leos is just over the top and hits me in my already frail ego. As a result, I am forced to express this sentiment with the voracity of 1000 PMSing women unable to obtain chocolate. To you, I say, suck it! " It's all about you today -- and your lover will no doubt prove it to you from the moment you open your eyes. Since you've been planning an equally wonderful surprise for them, of course, there's no reason to feel guilty about being so spoiled. Besides, who in their right mind wouldn't make a fuss over you? " PS. Remember I'm a lion. I ...

So, what does a girl like me do when she's bored and the television is being occupied by a 15 year old trying to battle bad guys on this PS2? She searches the Internet in hopes of finding inspiration, laughter, free stuff or whatever. It's the whatever that can bring woeful fright. Fortunately for me, tonight isn't one of those nights. I am bored, however. Therefore, I shall babble. Earlier today I was at work. Business was slow and I was given the heave hoe around 1pm. My shift was cut short. Booyah! No. Not really. Lacking in hours on the paycheck is not what I need at this time. I received word from a coworker that things really picked up after my early departure. See what happens when Riss leaves the building? All hell breaks loose. That'll teach 'em. My mojo may not work on a personal hot-cha-cha level, but it can wreak havoc in matters of business. Feh. I laugh. I spent all of Friday sleeping. OK, I did some upchucking, too. I blame inner ear imb...

Still speechless.

I've never been in a cemetery alone. In fact, I've only gone to them for funerals. Once my departure is made after the final word is said by the officiant, I don't return. Since I felt the dead can't talk back, what was the point? Recently, there has been a small voice beckoning to me. Explaining this might make you wonder if I haven't been clobbered on the head or under the influence of some really cool pharmaceuticals. Merely admitting it might lead you to believe the previous is certain. However, I assure you I'm not a heavy drinker nor do I pop pills stronger than Ibuprofen. Today after work, rather than turning left toward Aroma Park, I kept straight as I exited I-57 after work. For those of you who live or have lived in Kankakee, you know that Mount Calvary Cemetery was my destination. I wasn't 100% sure of where I was going, but I knew I'd find the grave-sites. The only living person on the premises, I wasn't scared. I didn't get...

All Ill Ever Ask - Joshua Kadison Love means so many different things, but you're all that matters, and this is all I'll ever ask of you. Tell me your dreams, so they could be mine too. Let me be there, to help them come true. Tell me your fears, when you feel afraid. Come to my arms, let me rock them away. That's all I'll ever ask. That's all I'll ever ask. That's all I'll ever ask. Of you... Come to my shoulder, when you need to weep. Wake me up, when you cannot sleep. Talk to me, when you want to be heard. Be silent with me, when you can't say a word. That's all I'll ever ask. That's all I'll ever ask. That's all I'll ever ask. Of you... I can't swear you'll never, have to cry another tear. But whenever you want, someone to hold you, I'm always right here. So just, come to me for anything at all. Call my name, it's yours to call. Feel my faith in you, when you can't find your own. And always remember, yo...

GLEE premieres tonight. I couldn't be more excited. Seriously, this is huge! I thought I'd missed it last night, but I didn't! My days are so confused with Labor Day. What a relief to hear the announcement on FOX this morning. GLEE is a show about kids who are just like I was in high school. Though, I don't think as members of The Celebration Singers we were laughed at or regarded as doofuses. Maybe we were but didn't care. I've talked about this before on my blog. Without show choir, I didn't care about high school. That tightly knit group of kids who sang and danced on stage is what kept me sane. While the football stars recall the glory days of making that touchdown at the last second, I recall the the thrill of learning harmonies and managing perfect choreography while singing my heart out. I was no Rachel. Though, I longed to sing well enough to be given solos. When that didn't always happen, I still gave it my all. I can relate to these...

The date is 09-09-09. September 9, 2009. What better way to honor it than with music. ..but probably more commonly known tunage:

Not everyone gets to have Labor Day off. I know that. I usually work it, but this year I asked to have it off. I like spending time with the Mancub. Actually, today feels like Sunday and yesterday felt like Saturday. Two days in a row off is like a mini-vacation in my line of work. Woo to the hoo!! I went to youtube in search of a song all about working -- slaving away for the man. As tribute to the working women, particularly the single working mom (your's truly) I found another Donna Summer song I liked better. Does it have anything to do with working? Not so much. But it sang to me and now I want the melody to serenade you. According to Wikipedia, this song is a cover. In 1981 it was originally performed by Jon and Vangelis (you remember him as the Chariots of Fire guy). Jon would be the lead vocalist for the band YES. Their take on the song is flirts with a Reggae sound. Now that the history is cleared up, here is State of Independence as performed by Ms. Disco Que...

I've not given much attention to the subtitle of my blog. Well, I have discussed my life and love-ish stuff, but what's been tossed to the side like a raggedy pair of undies is my ongoing quest for the perfect bra. There is a plethora of styles, colors and sizes available. The issue, as you all know, is perfect fit. I've made costly purchases only to be disappointed by the internal armor nearly impaling me when I make a sudden move. Or, regardless of measurements taken prior to ordering (I haven't found a store that carries ample cup size for Thelma and Louise), the cups sag and the band squeezes my rib cage. I blame being cranky on ill fitting brassieres. Or the band rides up, the straps leave indentations and my cups runneth over. Uni-boobs and quadra-boobs do not look appealing! The last time I sought out advice regarding my hefty issue, I was directed to various websites. I received an email from one of the shop owners who had been featured in the Washington ...

Claiming to be a fashionista is not something you'll hear muttered from my pie hole. I wear what I can afford and what fits. Sometimes that's not necessarily a prerequisite. I know I'd benefit from a weekend with Trinny and Susannah ( Making Over America -- TLC). Goddesses of fashion and self-love/body image affirmation. With that being said, I often question what other people put on their bodies. Today was one of those occasions. Working in a mall affords me location and time to observe, unknowingly, passers by. Upon first glance I thought this woman in her mid twenties was sporting a fashion I thought ridiculous in the '80s -- unless you were a dancer or Jennifer Beals. What I thought I saw was leg warmers worn over thong sandals. Au contraire, mon ami! They were one piece boots. Sandal boots. I ask you, what the hell is the point? I wear sandals to avoid the whole sock issue! Summer = airy footwear. I'm thinking that without use of stockings there...

Guilty pleasures. Everybody has them. I suppose if you openly admit your love for something others consider cheesy, then it doesn't exactly leave you riddled with guilt. Feeling guilty about it would imply that you're filled with shame. I have very little shame. Just ask anybody who really knows me. There are a few definitions of guilty pleasure on urbandictionary.com. 1. guilty pleasure Something that you shouldn't like, but like anyway. A cigarette every now and then is a guilty pleasure for me . 2. guilty pleasure Something that you love to do, but you just cannot admit that you do it. Guy 1: "DUDE, you still watch Pokemon?" Guy 2: "WHAT? NO! Ok, I do, its my guilty pleasure. 3. guilty pleasure n. to describe a certain substance or activity a person enjoys, and often practises, while said person morally believed or is informed that the substance or activity is abnormal, improper or incorrect. See more at: guilt, guilty, pleasure Under some common b...

I have received numerous additions to my photo play list. It's going to be phenomenal. I knew y'all wouldn't fail me. Some songs I have heard, but there are several that didn't ring a bell. When early in my life my dad advised me to surround myself with people who are fountains of information and more talented than I am, he was right! I've been listening to the unheard songs as they stream in either here or on Facebook. Some are catchy while others are heartbreaking. Those fit, too. Our lifetimes are filled with joy, as well as, sadness or memories of happier times. Last night friend and fellow blogger Angie Bailey recommended a song ( These Photographs ) by Joshua Radin . I was immediately hooked on his music. To be honest, whenever I saw that guy's name, I thought he was a former American Idol contestant booted early in one of the 8 seasons. Oops. There's no denying he's the prince of shmoopy and judging by the comments on his videos on you...

I've been communicating with a very dear person over the last three weeks or so. Time has slipped by quickly as we correspond. Because it has been so long since we've seen each other, and really talked, it's only natural to exchange photos. Surely it has been over 20 years. Recent photos are mostly shared because of the ease of digital cameras. Though there are a deeper lines on our faces, change in hair style (or color) and additional weight (me), one thing is remains the same. The smile and expressions that we developed early on in our lives remain evident despite the trials and tribulations we've encountered along the way. I do have to say he's even more handsome now than he was back then. I think maturity and life experiences add character to a person. Some of us don't wear our age well at all. My friend does. Though I do seem to be doing more of the sharing, I hold out hope to some day have a mailbox filled with photos of him with the kids, pets, ...

Obviously from my previous post, I've had some weighty stuff on my mind. In general, I take things too much to heart. I'm not dwelling, but it makes writing in a lighthearted, humorous manner difficult. I went in search of funny quizzes or questionnaires. Nothing jumped out at me. Often, I read friends blogs with hopes of being inspired. Reader's Digest couldn't give me any pointers, either. Sometimes music proves to be of most comfort or a guide towards levity. Sigh. All that popped into my head was sappy songs. I just don't want to leave my blog sitting on the lamentation of my character. It's too heavy! There's always the cop out of posting a video that I find humorous, but then I started getting a headache from scanning through the bowels of stupidity. The most notable thing I can discuss about my day is that I burned the top of my thumb when checking the bottom crust of a pizza on the Pizzazz Pizza Oven -- which isn't an oven at all, by the ...

Today was laundry day. I failed to bring with me a book or some other reading material. I knew boredom would set in as I listened to the washer spin and dryers tumble. Everyone who normally occupies the laundromat on Tuesday hadn't arrived. No one to amuse me with their nonsense banter which I'd attempt to ignore or be annoyed by. There is never, ever, ever any reading material left behind by other patrons. Not even as much as a classified ad. As I poured fabric softener into the wash, what did I spy with my little eye? Reader's Digest . Hoo-to-the-ray! I don't know about you, but I tend to thumb through a magazine by starting from the back. In RD, that means the feature The Last Laugh is my first laugh. As I backwardly flicked the pages, I stumbled upon the section called Quotes. This edition referenced a particular subject that caused that proverbial light bulb to off on over my noggin. Why? Let me cryptically explain (can't go into detail -- work stu...