Friday, January 2, 2009

Reality Bites


I've always considered myself a realist. To the extreme optimist, I might have a less than cheery outlook on many things. A pessimist might want to flick me in the forehead for being overly confident in the bright side of things. It's my deepest hope that I am able look at situations at face value and evaluate them without letting my bias or preconceived notions taint my judgement. Wow, that's a mouthful. The bottom line is that I don't want to put a heavy layer of sugar coating on circumstances just so I feel better about them.
This brings me to my weight and appearance. I do all I can to avoid being photographed from the neck down. I have recently found the best way to do that is self-portraits and being the person behind the camera. I like my face.
I joke about having a huge butt. It's no joke that I have big basooms. Bodonkadonk. Junk in the trunk. Cushion for the pushin'. Holy shit! Those thighs have their own zip code! Perhaps a mild exaggeration, but you get the point. I am not a small girl. At 5'10", I have managed to hide my weight and fool people into thinking I'm far less hefty than the scale reveals. I'll never forget going to the doctor for laryngitis 4 days before marrying Cletus. The nurse who weighed me thought for certain the scale was broken and insisted I step on another one. Without a doubt in my mind, the scale would read the same as the one presumed malfunctioning. Even those in the medical profession have been fooled. At my current Jabba the Hutt increasing size, I can't even fool Mr. Magoo.
For the women and men who are content with having extra weight, I applaud you. I live in denial via no full length mirrors. No more.
Denial is never having to look at your "before" picture.
I had Man cub take a photo of me when I got home from work. I was already feeling bloated. I figured why not push my esteem totally in the crapper by means of viewing my not so bodacious body. I put on capri yoga pants and kept the t-shirt on that I'd worn to work. I honestly thought I looked cute before walking out the door for work today.
Denial is overrated.
The purpose for this full length reality bites shot is that, once again, I am embarking on a planned means of losing weight. If you've been following my blog for more than a year, you'll know I attempted hotness via NutriSystem last year. It worked fairly well. Sort of. I felt like I was always on the verge of passing gas. I was losing weight, but feeling bloated all the time. I don' t know how, but I believe they managed to put beans in everything ... including pancake mix and chocolate pudding mix. I feared bending over without breaking wind.
Another downside to such a diet plan is that you are dependent on the slop they call entrees. I have a teen ager who has to be fed. I need to manage making ONE meal that will feed both of us. I am not inclined to being a short order cook. NutriSystem taught me nothing more than how decrease my checking account balance. I will confess that I lost 25 pounds and felt disgusting if I didn't get my 45 to 60 minutes power walks in at least 5 times a week. I got off course when my brother in law passed away. That's all the excuse I needed to push my daily walks aside. I started forgetting all that I had learned about portion control. Since June I have gained back 10 pounds. That is absolutely unacceptable.
That brings me to yesterday. A whim that could very well be the start of a healthier lifestyle. Thanks to a fellow Stuck in the 80s blog and podcast fan, I am now a member of Beachbody.com. It's new to me, so I can't go into detail how wonderful it is or exactly how it works. I'm learning the how-tos myself. Knowing someone can track me down online and hold me accountable might be the motivation I need to get moving again.
Eating properly will be a new pattern I have develop. Being conscientious of every morsel I put in my mouth is a requisite. Drinking water not soda is an absolute. Getting accustomed to less caffeine will be a challenge. Not putting creamer in my coffee will be a true taste bud challenge, but I've done it once. I can do it again
Viewing my lack of self control or tenacity to follow through with my goal as a failure would be counterproductive. There's no denying that I allowed myself to derail. I think the point is that I have re-evaluated that same goal and I'm taking another path in which to achieve it. I've regrouped and I'm ready for a challenge.

As a very sweet friend said in an email I received yesterday, "chalk up last year as a dress rehearsal. THIS is the year of the Riss!" Excellent advice, Sprezz. I'll take that and run with it ... or at least walk at a very fast pace for cardio benefits.

9 comments:

  1. Hey, good luck! Looking forward to reading about your progress!
    Didn't you lose some weight by being in that musical?

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  2. I am RIGHT there with you Sistah Riss. Preach on! I know there are several of us in our circle striving to live healthier lives. We can all help one another! Muah!

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  3. Yoon, I maintained weight during the musical, but I had already put on 5 lbs over the summer. I stopped weighing myself regularly. BIG mistake for me.

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  4. I am right there with you. YOU can do it. If I can stick to a plan anyone can. You go girl!

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  5. You go girlfriend!!! I know you can do it!! xoxoxoxo

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  6. Yes You Can.

    I got up one day in 2002 and decided I didn't want to be a fat guy any more (5'4'' 210#) ...

    A year later, 150 and an avid runner. Today, still at 150 and still running marathons and ultramarathons. You can do this.

    (I did it a very weird way, but at least one thing in common) I tried to eliminate every gram of fat from my diet possible. At the time, I lived on burgers and pizza, and believed I was entitled to fried chicken and potato wedgies as a 3 p.m. snack, and a quart of ice cream with TV .... I changed to a diet of beans, rice, solid tuna straight from the can and melba toast. I stunk, but it worked. Started walking on the treadmill (20 mins killed me) .. then eliptical. Then running 2 miles, then 3 ... then 10 ... then, I ran a marathon. Never looked back. The 100-mile HURT race in Hawaii is this month, I'll be there ...

    Yes You Can. Never give in, never take a "cheat day" and when it starts coming off, it will roll off of you.

    The thing we have in common: I used to drink cream (heavy cream if you got it) in my coffee. To this day, black is fine.

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  7. Riss,

    You are disciplined enough to write this blog, you are disciplined enough to lose weight. It's mind over matter.

    Positive vibraton, YEAH! Positive.

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  8. Thank you all so much.
    Chase, I find great inspiration in your story. Thanks for sharing it. To look at you now, I never would have thought you an unhealthy, overweight person. Ever.
    I know to many it seems like such a silly thing to bank so much on cutting out the creamer in coffee, but it's monumental and symbolic for overcoming feeding my face and turning it around to feeding the machine.

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  9. You can do it! I have started a new healthy eating plan - again - too! We will get healthy together!

    XOXO

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