Rapier's Wit

My oldest and dearest friend Tommy linked me to this. It made me ponder how often I've made a contact, but never followed up on it. The reasons vary, but most likely it is due to fear of rejection or, woefully, I've misinterpreted the intention. So, I just let it go and claim that fate had other plans. But what if failure and fear weren't factors? What would you do? I want to throw caution to the wind and let my sails take me to new horizons ... what say you?? A Thousand Words from Ted Chung on Vimeo .

Born from a cheeky comment I made on Sean Daly's Pop Life is something close to my heart: Breasts. Or, more textually correct, ( @ Y @ ) or ( @ )( @ ). One looks like natural cleavage and the other resembles the baseballish augmented boobalas. Regardless of your desires, I hope I can bring it! Parenthetical Knockers is alive and well on ZAZZLE ! It is my hope that, with your help, we'll take this concept from a training bra to a full-fledged, knock-out, Dolly Parton extremes! I'm putting my breast foot forward to make items that remind our beloved ladies to "check 'em" monthly. As inspiration and suggestions come to me, I will add to the small, yet perky, collection of designs. Being new to the product market, I'm learning this as I go. So, I hope you're a patient patron. Many thanks in advance!

It catches like wildfire. Well, the thoughts and ideas do. Whether or not the concept or desire to purchase catches on is up to you and whomever else checks out my Wildhair Designs on Zazzle . I've made the parenthetical knockers available on hats, too. So, if you're not daring or crass enough to sport them around on your pectoral region, you can still don boobs on your forehead! This girly design is an answer to the male friendly t-shirt I've seen with the saying, " Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes. " Who knew the "@" symbol was called an asperand? If you didn't, now you do. The pink shirt is obviously breast cancer awareness friendly. " Have you checked your asperands this month ?" Also available for purchase is the Parenthetical Knockers t-shirt with and without the phrase on the back of the shirt. This is all new to me, but I'm pretty sure if you don't like the mens tshirt option, you can select the girly tee, tan...

I love to snark. I love American Idol. I love Sean Daly's Pop Life blog. Put them all together .... I love to snark about American Idol on Sean Daly's Pop Life Blog. Participating on a blog that is part of a newspaper which is family friendly sets limitations on what you can write. Foul language isn't permitted. Dropping the f-bomb is a big no-no. Expletives in general are snagged by the censors aka the blog police. Some words that many people deem harmless, such as, slang for body parts are slammed down and beaten into submission. For what it's worth, I don't think a lot of people under the age of 21 frequent Sean's blog unless he's writing about his big brother like relationship with the Jonas Brothers. ::fist bump:: I believe it was last week -- it really seems like this season of Idol has dragged on much longer, but alas it's only two weeks in to a long assed journey till the crowning of season 8's most popular performer. Sorry, I'm easily d...

1. Put your mp3 player on shuffle. (or some other playlist doo-hicky like iTunes) 2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer. 3. You must write that song name down no matter how outrageous it sounds! 4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from IF SOMEONE SAYS, “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? My United States of Whatever -- Liam Lynch WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Miniskirt -- Esquivel/Combustible Edison WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Be My Somebody -- Norah Jones WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? You Just Haven't Earned it Yet Baby -- Kirsty MacColl WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Promiscuous -- Nelly Furtado (not!) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? You Can Leave Your Hat On -- Tom Jones WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN ? Please Don't Leave Me -- P!NK WHAT IS 2+2? Gone Daddy Gone -- Violent Femmes WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? No Love -- Joan Armatrading WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Down Under --...

Sundays are my day for lazing about. I revel in not working. In my realm, Sunday is a day to relax or take on tasks around the house that aren't major feats. I go with the flow. The first day of the calendar week also reminds me of a time of watching movies on WGN Family Classics with Frasier Thomas. WCIA out of Champaign/Urbana always had some movie playing. This was long before movies were released to video. Channels were limited to maybe 12 stations. What I now know as FOX Broadcasting was WFLD back when I was a kid. Those were the stations I'd flip to and from on the rotary knob of our console television set. It was my mother who'd insist on us watching " Ma and Pa Kettle " in their various incarnations. I learned to love Blondie and Dagwood in all their black and white ditziness. Without a doubt, my sense of humor was shaped by those movies and my mother's influence. Of all the motion pictures that were part of my Sunday movie enjoyment, none brings me a ...

I'm sitting here trying to catch up on blogs that I enjoy. If you look to your right along the side there is a list of the blogs I try to follow. It ain't easy. I haven't even made coffee!!! When the desire to write hits; one must hop on the word flow train. For some reason I turned on the television when I came downstairs. I think my hope was to find an old movie in progress. What I found was a sea of paid programming. I decided to cruise the channels for something that caught my eye or made me chuckle like SHAM-WOW! -- I can't handle those guys yelling at me. I get it. You're excited. But dude! I think you just popped an artery. About 20 minutes ago an exercise program called Kettlenetics was telling me I could have sculpted abs and lean, long muscle tone and drop inches while having a good time. Ooh, and if I'd called within the next 10 minutes I'd get alllllll the items shown on the screen for 2 payments of $19.95 instead of 3 payments of $19.95. The p...

My mother was a big promoter of poop. She wasn't one to fling poo. In fact, I am quite certain her shit didn't stink. Don't turn away and act righteous. Everybody poops. It's a necessary bodily function. In fact, if you aren't doing it then you have bigger problems than being easily offended by a shitty blog post. Whenever I complained of a belly ache, her question would be, "Have you pooped today?" If I groaned over a headache, her reply would be, "You probably need to poop." If any of us were remotely gassy and incessantly leaving stinkers (she forbid the word fart in our household) the suggestion would be, "you need to go poop." I had always considered my mother's fecal matter queries to be odd. The reason I think her poop didn't smell was due to having no recollection that she did, in fact, have bowel movements. She died of cancer at age 51. It's no laughing matter that people are paying more attention to what they leav...

Like many women out there I seek out the best products my money can buy. I'm not able to fit high end cosmetics into my budget. That being said, when there's a buy 1 get 1 sale, I take advantage of it. Utilizing store coupons on make-up is always advised when you're on a shoestring budget. Making use of that super saver card you have dangling from your key chain comes in very handy. For the most part, I am happy with my purchases. Sure, there are instances when a deep wine shade of lipstick ends up my baskets that is not a flattering shade on me. Sometimes I'll be daring and buy an eyeshadow hue that is deeper than my norm, but all in all, I rarely take issue with my cosmetics. That is if you don't include mascara. When it comes to finding a make and model of the eyelash enhancement, I have yet to find one I've been sold on 100%. When I was a teen, I used Maybelline 's Great Lash -- the one with the pink bottle and bright green lid. Then, cosmetics manufact...

Just when you thought it was safe to return to the truly *cough* talented stage of American Idol, look who rears his fabulously coiffed head: S A N J A Y A! Sorry, he's not ready to be done with his 15 minutes of fame. Per my usual routine in the morning, I checked my emails. Amazon.com likes to give me free MP3s. Do they do that for you, too? More often than not I will take them up on their freebies. I have downloaded some great tracks and some that were more like the aural equivalent to watching paint dry. Sometimes the sample is the best part of the song. It's a risk one takes. It's similar to being all excited over "Don't Mess With the Zohan" based on the trailer. Then, you go and that 30 second trailer was the best parts of the movie. EEK! Today's spotlight freebie is a release from Sanjaya Malakar's CD " Dancing to the Music in my Head." This is the dedication I have to you people. I risked my sanity and my reputation as a totally roc...

These words are the first thing that hit my ears this morning was the audio with this video. I was catching up on PLURK. Within a plurk by Miss Attitude asking for inspiration was this video. Topsurf had shared the famous "I HAVE A DREAM" speech by Martin Luther King Jr. in 1963. I encourage you to take in these words as we are on the thresh hold of a new day in American history.

There's a craze sweeping the blog nation. At least it's being Swiffered in my little corner of the world. And let's face it, with social networking, my corner is vastly increasing. I just hope I haven't painted myself into my own little corner with this one. Dearest Ruprecht has challenged me greatly. His interview conducted by Ashton Daigle surpasses anything I could dream of myself. Then again, I am not Rupe nor Ashton. I'm simply delighted to be in company with such brilliant yet warped minds. Warped in those instances is a good thing. This is my blog; my Rupian interview. I'm left to my own devices. Rupe instructed me that he wanted no creative juices tapped. He wants honesty. So, without further hesitation or contemplation, I give you my answers. Raw. Off the cuff. I'm just letting it roll forth from my skull. Editing be damned. By the way, Imogen Heap chimes in as I write this. iPod earbuds are crammed in my earholes. 1) Two-Parter: The 1980'...

You read the title correctly. It's written exactly as I intended. There's nothing mystifying about it. BUTT HOLE. Crass? You bet. I've spent a lifetime attempting to be the good little girl 24/7 and it's given me little less than a mountain of frustration. So, my halo is coming off and I'm revealing my horns. I have said this before and I'll say it again: This is my blog and I get to do whatever I want with it. I've reached that certain age when a woman just doesn't give a damn what everybody else thinks. I'm still a nice girl. This is an instance where I need free reign to express myself. With that out of the way, I will continue to explain what I mean by magic butt hole. For you perverts reading this, it has nothing to do with a sexual act. If you're married or living with someone, I ask you to think back to a time when your loving significant other asked you where his lucky boxers -- or t-shirt --were located. Since you don't wear his lu...

Not A Mean Girl tagged me! This meme is a little bit different. I like it. I think you'll all enjoy the results. HA! I literally chuckled when I realized what photo was going to be the subject of the post. Here are the rules: 1. Go to your documents 2. Go to your 6th file. 3. Go to your 6th picture. 4. Blog about it. 5. Tag 6 friends to do the same. Simple enough right? Here is my 6th Photo This lovely photo comes from my "those were the days" folder. It's filled with pictures that have been scanned by myself or friends. I love that we can do that! Otherwise, how would I show the blogosphere my hot 80's style? From left to right: ME, Laurie, Kelly and Jessica. The year was 1985, I believe. I was 19 and ripe for the pickin' Please note the tan. I'm quite certain I was doing the fake and bake because my tummy is beautifully bronzed. I have no recollection of wearing a bikini back then. My boobs were so tiny! I had gone to Decatur with Laurie, ...

I don't know if it's the winter weather and I have my heat turned up too high or I've piled on too many blankets, but I have had weird dreams. Perhaps I'm running a low grade fever. Just maybe working out is ridding me of toxins that are reeking havoc on my nocturnal thought processes. Let's go with the last suggestion as I want to believe more good is coming from being kinder to my body. Here's an example: The other night, the howling video kitty woke me from a dream. In this dream I was calling a prize claim line where everything was made from LINOLEUM. Yes. You read correctly. Umbrella stand: Made of fine grade linoleum. Also offered was a lamp, shoe rack, and book shelf. All were comprised of the floor covering of the 70's. Hello! Weird. Every night this week the kitty heard in my video has been waking us up in the wee hours with her obnoxious tones. She's been boisterous and determined to get me out of bed. Mancub, who sleeps like a log, was even a...

This video pretty much says it all. Have a wonderful day! Dance like no one is watching -- and post it on your blog!!

Yep. The title says it all. That's what my brain is doing. I want to write, but there are many thoughts and considerations floating around in that cavernous zone. I've piddled around most of the morning knowing very well I have to go to work. My presence is requested by 10:30 a.m. It's nearly 9:00 am when I start this blathering. You do the math. Time is limited. I spent a good amount of time looking at photos of Facebook friends last night. A picture can, indeed, speak volumes. Yes, a picture paints a thousand words. Thank you to those people who seem to be able to capture life's precious moments with the single click of a shutter & flash. I also listened to songs of bands posted on a link shared with me on Facebook (thanks again to Chase.) New artists and old. I hadn't heard of Yma Sumac until my brother, Rick, pointed out that an earworm I had the other night, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," was inspired by one of her songs "Wimoweh." I realiz...

DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!! I wanted to get this posted before I left for work. Best laid plans and all that stuff ... I was running late and youtube was sluggish. WOOP! The links I promised SEAN DALY'S BLOG and the tunage is a mash-up of "It Takes Two" and "Kiss" -- that and more can be found at Undercover Black Man's Blog .

... the tough keep on plugging along. 'Cuz that's how we roll, home-skillet! I've been having a good ol' time video blogging. I have to admit it's a lot easier, but I understand that a little Riss goes a long way. I'm assuming that's why men don't' stick around longer than a month in my life. Those who do just never really go away. Sort of like that mustard stain on your favorite, and usually new, crisp white shirt with the French cuffs. You let the stained shirt hang around because, in a pinch, it serves a purpose, albeit rare and short lived. Once in awhile it comes in handy when it's sweater weather, but the French cuffs don't quite work well with the cardigan or pull-over. I sat down at the computer without any idea what I'd write. I'm sure that's vividly apparent. To be honest, I'm craving something and I have no idea what it is. So, I'm writing with hopes the craving will subside and I'll forget all about it. Tue...

I'm a woman of few written words this morning. Have a fabulous Tuesday. Gotta run!!!

Hey! It's Monday. I'm feeling better than yesterday. Like, 99.9 % better. I hopped on the scale this morning to discover that I'm down 4.5 pounds from Friday. I'm pretty elated. I've been drinking water rather than soda. I managed to get in some cardio-glide time last night even though I didn't feel like doing it. Feeling hellish all day, I felt justified in not getting on, but it's just too easy to find cop-outs. It wasn't a full 20 minute run, but I worked it enough to ease some of the kinks out of my back. Have an awesome day. Catch ya later.

I woke up this morning feeling sort of icky. As you know, I've embarked on a healthful journey to begin 2009. One might think that eating healthier and exercising would bring about a verve in my step. I was fine for the first two days, but me thinks a combination of female stuff (you know what I mean) and bodily adjustment to the lack of junk food, I am detoxing. Under the advisement of my plurkalicious gal pals, Jane and Claudia, I am drinking water, water and more water. Not too much as I know I could drown my organs. I may have waited too long to consume my first bite of food. I hadn't eaten anything since my late dinner -- 8 pm -- of baked chicken and green beans. My nausea kicked in after having coffee around 9:30 am. It hit the worst point about two hours later. I thought for certain I was going to evacuate the contents, or lack there of, of my stomach. Fortunately, it subsided after drinking ginger tea. I apologize for the brevity and nearly humorless video blog. God ble...

I hope you all still find me adorable after viewing this one. Spur of the moment and unplanned seems to be the key element thus far in the video bloggery. I get a wild hair up my tuchus and turn on the cam. Something I learned while attempting to upload this via blogger's video doo-hickey -- vids can't be bigger than 100 MB and, in my case, no longer than 5 minites. Whoopsies! I babbled on a wee bit too long. So, I uploaded my very first video to youtube. It's set for private on the site, though. I'm not ready to get up in the faces of cynical, know-it-all, bratty brat youtubers. Have a great a great weekend!!

I've always considered myself a realist. To the extreme optimist, I might have a less than cheery outlook on many things. A pessimist might want to flick me in the forehead for being overly confident in the bright side of things. It's my deepest hope that I am able look at situations at face value and evaluate them without letting my bias or preconceived notions taint my judgement. Wow, that's a mouthful. The bottom line is that I don't want to put a heavy layer of sugar coating on circumstances just so I feel better about them. This brings me to my weight and appearance. I do all I can to avoid being photographed from the neck down. I have recently found the best way to do that is self-portraits and being the person behind the camera. I like my face. I joke about having a huge butt. It's no joke that I have big basooms. Bodonkadonk. Junk in the trunk. Cushion for the pushin'. Holy shit! Those thighs have their own zip code! Perhaps a mild exaggeration, but you...

Not a rat's ass f'ing thing! He hasn't found me yet. I think the video message will surely lure in a hunka-hunka-burnin' love who suits me to a tee, right? Yes? Probably not? Why I oughta!! What you see on the video is sincerely a dose of what anybody who chooses to hang out with me will get. Maybe I should adopt the thinking of little Miss Anna Kournikova who is quoted in my WILD WORDS FROM WILD WOMEN daily calendar -- Jan 1, 2009 " I am beautiful, famous and gorgeous. I could have any man in the world." Wow! All that humility and she can play tennis. That is what she's known for, correct? Isn't she more famous for boinking Enrique Iglesias? My Skechers need to meet her boney little ass. That's all I'm saying. I had a dream about Alton. He was entirely unappealing in nocturnal picture show. It's not to say he was disfigured or behaving badly. He's a truly cute dork. But the attraction just wasn't there. I recall talking to...