Happy St. Patrick's Day -- O'Rafferty's Motor Car

My friend Jeff H. posted this on Myspace, and I thought it worthy of making it here. He probably knows more about music than anyone I've ever known. The more obscure it is, the more likely he'll have all the tidbits. I worked with him making eyeglasses and always wondered why in the world he wasn't involved in the music industry in some capacity. He and I would crack each other up with talk that only made sense to us. His British humor slayed me; he awed me with his intelligence.

O'Rafferty's Motor Car (Tommie Connor)

Now Dinny O'Rafferty's motor car
Is the greatest I declare
It's made up of bits and pieces
That he's picked up here and there
The engine must be ages old
But it's still got lots of power
With a gallon of stout in the petrol tank
It does ninety miles an hour

What a wonderful motor car
It's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat
Now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio
And in every public bar
The burning question of the day
Is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now two of the wheels are triangular
And the third one's off a pram
The fourth is the last remaining wheel
From off a Dublin tram
The number plate's in Gaelic
And the plug's won't even spark
And the chassis came off a tinker's cart
That collapsed in Phoenix Park

What a wonderful motor car
It's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat
Now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio
And in every public bar
The burning question of the day
Is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now go for a ride in that motor car
And you'll end up with the shakes
The road from Cork to Dublin
Is a vale of pains and aches
When traffic lights turn red ahead
Then you'd best jump out the door
For the moment that Dinny treads on the brake
Then his foot goes through the floor

What a wonderful motor car
It's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat
Now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio
And in every public bar
The burning question of the day
Is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now if you could see the upholstery
Then your eyes would start to pop
It's nothing but empty beer crates
With a load of sacks on top
The windscreen's gone to Lord knows where
And there's mothballs in the horn
And I reckon he'd only get half a quid
If he took it to the pawn

What a wonderful motor car
It's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat
Now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio
And in every public bar
The burning question of the day
Is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now Dinny was driving around last week
When the engine did the splits
It went up in smoke and nearly blew
O'Connell Street to bits
They searched around for Dinny and found
That he'd landed up by heck
Away on top of the GPO
With his L-plates round his neck

What a wonderful motor car
It's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat
Now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio
And in every public bar
The burning question of the day
Is O'Rafferty's motor car