Thursday, May 13, 2010

2-do or not 2-do

It started to set in last night.  I knew it was taking a toll while viewing "American Idol."  Wednesdays are elimination night. Quite frankly, there is little concern from this mommacita as to who is sent packing with their dreams tucked in their carry-on baggage.  This year isn't even snark worthy as years past have been. Sad, really.

Sad. That brings me to my mood that began last night.  It came from nowhere... much like the alien monster that threatens mankind in the B-movies of the '60s.  When the results show on Idol came down to Big Mike Lynche or Crystal and they told the dred-locked not full of the mange single mom, I almost wept.  I-DO-NOT-CARE! And that was all the indication required for me to know I was spiraling into despair (hyperbole).

As with all things Marissa, I had to analyze my dilemma.  There could have been a variety of reasons but nothing stuck out like that proverbial sore thumb.  Some possibilities were:
  1. I'm missing the man who holds my heart (no, he didn't rip it from my chest just like Swayze in "RoadHouse.")
  2. I didn't work out yesterday. I believe I am now dependent on the endorphins.
  3. Pushing myself to excel is not a frame of mind I'm accustomed to and I feel out of sync as a result.
  4.  I've never had much going on so organization and 'to-do' lists weren't necessary. Now they are. Ugh.
  5. The frickin' frakin' rainy, chilly weather has sucked all the happy out of me which proves that I NEED SUNSHINE! 
  6. A good belly laugh should be acquired daily and multiple doses are recommended. That didn't happen in over 24 hours.
There are probably other factors, but those are the things that stand out.  Everything but the weather is in my control.  Working out didn't really do the trick this morning when I awoke with the undeniable urge to burst into tears.  With a suspicion that my blood sugar was ailing, I had Shakeology after a cup of coffee.  Not quite myself just yet.  I let myself have a cry in the shower.  Then, the man I adore with every fiber of my being came to my rescue vie email and offered a much needed boost of compassion and affirmation that I'm his "Super Hero -- Wonder Woman." His words of inspiration gave me energy to put on make-up and get to work.  Once at work I talked to my friend Jen who expressed her concern for this out of character behavior in a manner only she can deliver.  The funky mood was surely melting away.  Work wasn't challenging.  In fact, I was bored out of my mind and the radio station wasn't playing tunage that altered my mental state. 

Finally making it home after what seemed a never ending workday, I managed a serious giggle by watching "I ♥ the '90's" with the Mancub.  Then, I turned to music to help me work off the funk. C & C Music Factory, Freak Nasty and Michael Jackson filled the prescription to get the happy flowing through my veins again.

A notebook is by my side so I can jot down things that matter and require attention.  I'm seeking inspiration through reading "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson (thank you, JPH). "Community" is on tonight which means the laughter will ensue.  I'll be just fine.  This blossoming chaos taking root in my cranium is a monster that can be tamed. It's a matter of taking this obstacle and turning it into an experience that spawns the necessity to get my poop in a group, as my Mama would tell me.

image borrowed from deviantart.net

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to read about your melancholy, Wild. Everyone feels like that at times. I will cheer you up with something I've written before, and at the risk of being redundant, will state again: you have a way with words, are very expressive in written prose, and although your blog is a hoot and a half, you really ought to instead be writing novels for fun and profit. I know, I know: how can Wild consider yet another project on her plate now (or should I say, in her Shakeology cup)? Well, consider it, anyhow. JK Rowling is done with Potter, so the world awaits the first Wildhair adventure. See, you have a protagonist already. ck1

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  2. I'm on the mend and back to myself. It's a wonky world for a woman.

    Coolkayaker, thank you, thank you! That is such an amazing compliment and I'm beaming that you'd suggest it. There's always room for another project to do at my leisure.

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  3. I hate it when I have a stretch like that...nothing seems to fall into place and it seems that it's just one thing after another. A good cry definitely helps and I always seem to get back on track. You do too :) I don't know about you, but I always seem to feel a little more grateful after an episode like that. Don't know why, but I'll take gratitude anytime. You are an amazing woman, Riss -- and I am glad to be your friend :)

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