Wednesday, February 17, 2010

We Are The World at 25

Competitive Caterwauling with a purpose and a whole lot of Autotune.

With that being said, it is for a noble cause and the people of Haiti will benefit greatly. You donate your money in any way you choose. There's a link for another worthy cause in the right margin of this blog. Some people may love the song because their favorite artist has a solo.  Some might enjoy the video for the pure entertainment value. For me, it's simply something you can't UNhear. All the Q-tips in the world can't remove the memory of it from my ears.  That's not to say every performer is sub-par. No, actually some of them are quite talented singers on their own, but it seems it was forgotten that this was supposed to be a group effort. I know many of the parts were done separately. They had stand ins wear green so actors and singers could be later added for the video to fill those spots.  You have to love the frills and thrills of modern technology.

Immediately after viewing the video I rushed to Plurk and threw out what I imagined were the conversations taking place before the actual recording.  Allow me to indulge you in the lunacy that is my mind:

Lionel to Quincy: "Let's start with a real powerhouse voice ... Justin Bieber." Q: "who the hell is that?" Lionel:"Uh, not sure but he's popular with little girls." Q:"Whatever, we need to get this thing off the ground to meet the 25th anniversary deadline."

Li'l Wayne to Akon: "If there's no Autotune you can count me out. My peeps can't be knowin' I can't sing for shit."

Ann to Nancy Wilson: "I'll phone this in.They gave my solo to that slut Nicole Slutzinger of the Pussycat Whores"

Vince Vaughn: "Nicole Scherwhatever will be there? Can I sniff up on her?"

Josh Groban: "Uh, I'm a real singer. I don't need the Autotune. No, really. I'm good. NO! Stop shoving that mechanism in my face!"

Celine Dion: "I am de'greatest singer in all de' worl! Of course I could support all of 'Aiti! but I will zing for dem instead! hunhuh!"

Barbra Streisand:"What do you mean this is for free? I get $10,000 per seat at my shows. I'm calling the Clintons. They'll take care of this

Jennifer Hudson: "I have to duet with Nicole ? You do know I won an Oscar, right? ::I'll blow that bitch out of the studio::"

Tony Bennett: "I'm the coolest son of a bitch in this room. I've shat more talented turds than that pack of thugs in the corner."

Best part of the entire thing? Jamie Foxx impersonating Ray Charles. And Pink didn't stink at all. Well, maybe she did literally. I suspect she probably needs Secret, but I digress. The girl can really sing.

******* something was pointed out by my astute friend Doug W. that I cannot believe I missed (but then I was covering my ears). At the 2:35 minute mark when Babs sings, it is obvious that she deliberately annunciates "for JEW and me."  And she says it with a smirk. **********


  1. Excellent! I can picture Quincy and Tony having a silent conversation via facial expressions and shrugged shoulders: "These are stars?", "Tell me about it."

  2. You are probably right, but I liked watching and listening.

  3. Clark, thank you. From you that's high praise lol and you're right about the exchange.

    Molly, I respect your opinion. It's for a wonderful cause and I support that aspect of the endeavor.

  4. Brilliant! I love this. I have still not watched the video and am kind of afraid to... Oh well, I'll watch.

  5. OK, now I've watched it. It wasn't as bad as I expected, and of course it's for a great cause. I do want to smack Celine Dion. Pink was wonderful.

  6. Not nearly as awful as I thought it was going to be. Good to see LL doing his bit, and Gladys Knight in there too. Not as much Autotune as I expected either. At least T-Pain is unashamed. Pink has some serious vocal cords. We needed more Tony and more Snoop, though. Tony and Snoop should duet, seriously.

  7. Seriously, your Tony Bennett thought bubble is spot-frakking on, I suspect. And he can get away with thinking it because he IS the coolest cat in the room. Tony Bennett in this group is like Dean Martin being in a room with Michael Cera, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zac Efron.

  8. Your obsessed .... you know that?

  9. I never tire of reading your thoughts. I imagine anyone who is around you in person must constantly be rolling in laughter.

    As for this particular piece: spot on!


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