Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Where the boys are ~ American Idol 7 ~ Weak 2

That's not a typo you see in the post title. I meant it wholeheartedly. W E A K! I wanted my favorite men/boys to be stellar! Fantastic! Knock it out of the park fabulous! Meh. That's what I say.

Michael Johns aka Love Kangaroo was up first and he just didn't rock it or sock it. Did he look great? Hell yeah. In his pre-perfomance video he told us how he loves tennis. I love his tennis legs. Mmm mmm. However hot his appearance may be, his performance was just shy of glorious. He performed Fleetwood Mac's Go Your Own Way. It was alright. He's capable of so much more. He stated that he'd always wanted to do a Fleetwood Mac song and that's why he made the song choice (The judges questioned his judgement). Being that it was 70s night, I would have loved to hear him rock a Queen tune.

Next up was my darling dreadlocked Jason Castro. I am really hoping he had enough appeal and fan base from last week to carry him into next week. The kid is adorable and truly has talent. I just think he got lost in the Andy Gibb song, I Just Want To Be Your Everything. It's not a bad song, but it was bland. Once again, he stood behind the protection of the mic stand and guitar. What works one week, might leave the performance limp in another week. I don't know that anyone will be racing to iTunes to download him this week ... iTunes might see a slump in downloads.

Some guy performed third. Oh, Luke Menard. For a guy who sings in an a capella group, he sure falls flat in tone and clarity. He hurt my ears, the cats exploded when he sang Killer Queen by Queen. Sorry homies, I can't get behind a guy just because his family is from Kankakee. He's cute, but looks won't carry this fella.

Robbie Carrico: As my blog buddy Bassnote calls him, Axel Poser. This guy is about as 'rocker' as I am anorexic. Egads! Wash the hair, Robbie! Or stop running hair paste through it make it look like you're disheveled. It's not helping your campaign to be the rocker-dude on the show. Hot Blooded? Try tepid. Next! I hope you're outta here.

Danny Noriega seriously just needs to be straight with us and fess up that he's really a girl trying to be a boy (Hollywood scenario). He's cute, but if 13 year old girls are voting for him for the attraction factor, they are WAY off base. He sang a goofy, over-vibratoesque rendition of Superstar by The Carpenters. Bad song choice? Bad hair-do? Bad.

He wore tights as a kid. He could do back handsprings with a twist. Yes, it's David Hernandez. He would have impressed me more had he done one of his tumbling stunts down the steps and stuck the landing just as he broke into song. He didn't do terribly, but I have no recollection of what song he sang. I just know he didn't make the cat explode.

Jason Yeager needs to stop the cheeeeezy grinning. Dude! This is American Idol, not a Pepsodent audition. You're not singing to grannies in gold lame' sneakers on a cruise ship. Please, oh please! I implore you to watch yourself on video. If you don't make yourself vomit a little in your mouth, then I don't know what to say. You might be able to sing well, but I can't get past goofy grinning. It's buggin' me out and you're probably going bye bye tomorrow night.

When you can drop your last name, you must be fantastic, right? Chikezie claims he did it just to make it EZ (pun there) on pronouncing his name. Whatever. You managed to rock the house with your voice. I just can't figure out what you were thinking with the doubled up polo shirts and jeans. Last week he looked like he was a right out of I'm Gonna Git You Sucka and this week he looked like wannabe frat guy. Sean Daly suggested he not wear such shirts as it displays his man-boobs. I prefer moobs. I prefer they be strapped down, kept under wraps.

He hauled out his electric guitar. I don't know the brand. Randy made some remark about it. David Cook seemed to be attempting to steal role of token rocker dude from Robbie. What the hell did he sing? I don't know. It's not important. I didn't vote for him. He back talked Simon and was scolded for his remarks. I'm certain he watched his future flash before his eyes. He's a word-nerd. That much I do recall. Dig it! I do crosswords. I can see promotional t-shirts in the making, "Real Rockers do it across and down " You saw it here first.

The highly coveted pimp spot went to the boy who has wormed his way into my heart. My maternal instincts are kicked into overdrive when David Archuleta came out to sing John Lennon's Imagine. That's a mighty hefty undertaking. His vocals were strong and clear. He probably gave THE best performance of the night. I would have selected a different arrangement. My suggestion for such a high calibre song is keep it simple: You and an accoustic guitar. Let your vocals and emotional message do the accompaniment. End of story.

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