My first crush. EVER.

Here he is. My first ever crush: Donny Osmond. Laugh. Go on. It's okay. I can take the heat.
For my birthday, my sister Maureen bought tickets to see Donny at the Rialto Square Theater in Joliet. Our friend Kris went along. There we sat -- three women over 40 -- screaming like 13 year old girls! When this song started I squealed so loudly that I think I pierced the eardrums of people in the neighboring county ... I'm sure I popped a blood vessel. I was shocked by my own reaction. There I was; mere feet away from the man who gave me dreamy eyed childhood fantasies. Nothing perverse, but I dreamed of Donny being my prince. The women who sat in front of us wasn't too happy about our fanatic behavior. Obviously, she was one of those Branson, MO ladies who was accustomed to the Osmonds show that catered to the folk who travels on coach bus and relies on Metamucil to help 'em go pooh.
The concert was out of this world phenomenal. Donny is quite a showman. After 50 albums, he surely knows what he's doing. He's the first boy to ever make my heart go pitter patter. Well, there was the boy across the alley who had a built in swimming pool. It's rumored that he was my first kiss. I was 5, he was 4. Billy Trout was his name. He could make a snarl like Billy Idol. I don't remember the kiss, but I do remember his pool. Needless to say, I guess my penchant for younger men started long before I sprouted boobs.