Friday, February 22, 2008

First results: American Idol Season 7


Oh, let the tears flow. The odd thing is that the stage wasn't being drenched by the victims of the American Idol guillotine. No, the crying came from the girls camp. The Fembots' faces were shmeared with mascara. I should clarify: The Fembots and Danny Noriega. I'm sure they were tears of relief. Considering the amount of suckage emitted from the "best top 24 yet," -- with the exception of my top 3 choices -- the sighs of relief could have been heard around the globe (even if you don't have a television).
The night started out with this ridiculous showcase of all 24 contestants. Seriously, that stage is too small for that much hair! The girls appeared to be trying to upstage one another. I was certain one of the big haired girls would get an elbow to the eye. They pulled out the best of the worst vocal gymnastics when it was time for their solo. What should have been 8 notes easily turned into 24. Oh the dread! Just give Michael Johns more air time and be done with it.
I don't have to time give a run down on the horrendous attire of the ladies. Joanne was wearing bobby socks. Amanda channeled the spirit of Bea Arthur's MAUDE. That hair! Can we please talk about Amanda's hideous hair? Adding extensions is not helping. I get it! She's the hardcore poster chick. I have two words to describe her black over bleached blond look : DARK HELMET.
So, here are the poor souls who were ejected into the cold hard world last night : Joanne Borgella, Amy Davis, Garrett Haley and Colton Berry. See you at the finale, kids. Oh, if you felt robbed of Amy's presence, you can see a lot more of her in Maxim magazine online. Her off key rendition of "Where the Boys Are" is proof she should have stuck with scantilly clad pictorials as a career choice.

3 comments:

  1. Bea Arthur is one of my personal idols -- but even I will admit that her Maude attire was not a great look. Then or now.

    And for the creatively interested, here's a link to the rankings of the popularity of the Top 24's songs on iTunes... it's not what I expected, but I'm pleasantly surprised:

    http://votefortheworst.com/20080222/idol_inadvertently_lets_contestant_popularity_slip

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  2. I can't believe I braved the DC cold only to miss a potential Hot L Baltimore discussion! NO ONE ever remembers that show! (And am I delusional, or did the fab Miss Dixie Carter portray one of the prostitutes?)

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  3. I'm going to have to do some Googling on "Hot L Baltimore." I'm just so excited that you gals remember it! I mention it and I get these blank stares as if I'm on an acid trip.

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