Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Another first for Man-cub

A parent's greatest; yet bittersweet, moment is seeing their child make firsts:
    • His first bath
    • First full night's sleep
    • First Tooth
    • First word
    • First step
    • First boo-boo
    • First birthday
    • First day of school
    • First Funyun

screeeeeeeeeeech His first what?!

You read it correctly. The inaugural taste of Funyuns took place today. The Man-cub became one with the beloved snack of my favorite music critic and Stuck in the 80s podcast co-host SEAN DALY. Sean warns listeners and fans to beware of the Salvador Dali-nightmare inspiring effects the Funyun can have when consumed along with a large glass of water too close to bedtime. All more reason to keep the Funyuns. Who doesn't like a trippy-trip from time to time?

There is currently a radical movement to oust the Funyun as the official Stuck in the 80s snack to bring in Munchos or Bugles. BAH! I say.

It wasn't long ago that I won the coveted signed bag of Funyuns for getting the mystery 80's tune correct. I admitted that I sorta kinda cheated in order to guess it. But I was the only entry. Plus, I think Steve took pity on me after Sean read my pathetic tale of woe on the air. My crushing, heartbreaking letter about unrequited love in the summer of 1980. A story so painful that I'm sure the entire 80's nation wept (or laughed). Regardless, I keep the bag far away from psycho cats and, yes, the Man-cub. [the bag in the image is not the fun-size I won. That was a love and devotion shot from earlier this year]

Man-cub called me at work one day Jonesin' for some snacks. He had spied the mini bag of Funyuns perched (still in their shipping box) on the dining table. Lucky for him, he called to see if consuming them would be A-OK. Of course, I said, "nooooooooooooooooo. Tell me you didn't already eat them and you're calling me in retrospect." He hadn't and he didn't.

Ever since then, his curiosity has been piqued about the taste of this oniony flavored ring treat he hears so much about on the podcast. And, WHY would I hold these Funyuns so dear to my heart that I'd forbid him from a wee taste?

Today, I saw Funyuns on display at the Dollar Tree. It was the 3 1/8 oz size bag. Much bigger than the prize bag on my bookshelf. I had to get them. Like a siren's call, they beckoned to me. I figured if Man-cub didn't want to eat more than one, I would tape up the bag and ship it to Sean in St. Petersburg, FL (as a joke, of course). That would not be the case. The boy loved them.

Because of the importance of this auspicious occasion, I documented the entire event in pictures. From the opening of the bag to the emptying of the bag. Below you'll find the Photo Chronicle of the Inaugural Funyuns Bag.

"How do you like them?" "mmmm They are really salty, but good. Delicious! ... really onionish. They are going to give me really baaaaaad breath. But it's worth it. mmmm Can I have the entire bag?"


  1. Best Funyuns evah: Wasabi flavored

    An awesome first for the Man-cub.

  2. That was close. An authentic Sean Daly autograph is sooooo much more valuable on an unopened bag. ; )

  3. Oh, I know! Let's not forget Steve Spears signed it, too! He does not have 'perfect dork penmanship' by the way.

    Cajun, I've never had the wasabi flavored, but I have heard they are like hot garbage. lol

  4. Do they even use onions in Funyns?

  5. Of the 27 or so ingredients on the bag, number 15 is "Onion powder" and number 27 is "extractives of onion" -- I wonder if the onions give their consent prior to extraction.

  6. I mentioned somewhere else (might have been 'Stuck In The 80s') that Funyons contain neither fun nor onions

  7. Best be careful of the taste temptations you leash on your offspring, MissRiss.

    Today Funyuns, tomorrow: Utahn Fry Sauce. Methinks you've opened Pandora's box!

    But the Man-cub must grow and flourish and explore the wonders of the culinary delights of Life. And Funyuns're a superb launching point.

    When he finally comes to see the versatility of Cholula, it's time to hug him and let him go. *sniff*

    Rupe appreciates the historic coming-of-age photos.

    ........................................... Ruprecht

  8. A chip or chip-like product that makes your breath wreak is okay in my book. To me, there ain't nothing worse that plain flavored chips, ew.

  9. Isn't it a horror to craft an amazing post, make the mistake of clicking "Preview" only to have it evaporate into the Internet void?

    Such is the case... but I'll try to reconstruct it here:

    I was the one who introduced the Muncho to SIT80s as an alternative to the Funyun, describing it as the poor man's Pringle...

    Point is, though cleverly phrased before, no one need choose between the Funyun and the Muncho irrevocably. It is a matter of cases.

    When one needs a munch, but the environment is more suited to a lack of the malodorous, the humble Muncho is key to successful munchtasticness. When one is among friends or loved ones who have little say in the matter -- or their protestations will result in no real loss of social favor -- feel free to par-tay with a Funyun groove.

    But make no mistake: the good people at Frito-Lay would be more than happy if you were to stock up your pantry with both delightfully munchable comestibles. As am I. (In fact, F-L might even send you coupons for both if you play your cards right.)

    Preventing halitosis... It isn't rocket science, but it is science. And it's all a little part of something I like to call, good judgment.

    Thank you.

  10. P.S. Spencer I love your photo illustration of the pain one experiences upon finding nothing but crumbs left. ;-)

  11. I've been known to eat a Muncho or 50 in my time.


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