Rapier's Wit

LensCrafters Friends and Family Sale Say what!? I've been an associate of Lenscrafters for 14 years. I'm proudly part of the company that made ONE HOUR eyewear a possibility. Even more exciting is that I'm the lab manager at my location. Wave at me and my colleagues as you walk through the mall!  Former clients, we urge you to come back and see what's new. Click the link above and print out the valuable coupon.  Use it between December 12-15. Stop by or call in advance to set up an eye exam. Plan ahead and bring in the family for great savings at America's leading eye care company. Let Lenscrafters be your " trusted partner in helping you to see and look your best. That is what we do, and that's all we do ."

The shelves of Wal-Mart, as I entered the store, were lined with one of the most disgusting canned items known to man (besides peas -- am I right, Angie Bailey?) Yams.  Candied yams to be more precise. First, let me say I question the validity of said claims that the item sloshing around in heavy syrup is, indeed, a yam. Hey! Look at the photo. Underneath the word YAM is the truth. Yams and sweet potatoes are not one in the same.  This product is a mushy, detestable glurp in a can. It was a staple side dish at all the Thanksgivings at casa Rapier. Dump the can of candied yams into a casserole dish; cover with a pound of mini marshmallows and bake until golden brown. Yuck! I suppose it comes from the era when it was all a parent could do to get a kid to eat a vegetable so they'd slather it with cheese food or enough sugar to kill and entire nation (and it is) to make it palatable. You may as well give a kid a king size Hershey bar and call it a veggie. It wasn't until I mov...

Normally, I just read my horoscopes and get a chuckle.  But the past couple have given me exactly what I need to hear.  Quite honestly, deep down I am just a hippie chick who believes the cosmos-really-knows-me-best and delivers it if I keep my eyes open and my mind even opener . Just go with me on this and my mutilation of grammar. Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22) Your day can be mixed with contradictions because you may intuitively sense that you're on the edge of something big ... and although it's exciting to think that there are no limits to your far-reaching ideas now, you might have to face an unexpected obstacle. A seemingly insignificant social event can set you in a direction that is very advantageous to your career. Combining business with pleasure isn't always a wise idea, but today it may be just what the doctor ordered for your success.

Check out this horoscope!  I can dig it. Yes, please and thank you! Give me a double helping. You are stepping into a fun-filled phase when your life lightens and you want to express yourself in a more playful manner. Even if it's challenging to find everything you're seeking, you are still more willing to move forward with anticipation now, rather than shut down in fear. It's certainly more pleasurable to be with someone you like than spending your time alone wishing for company.

Listen, my brain is a cavalcade of mish-mash lately.  Bear with me as I try to regain my ability to write cohesively (if that is ever possible with me) and form a decent  blog post.  In the meantime, this handy Facebook tag-a-long will be quite useful.  Thank you to my friend Angie Bailey of Catladyland for bestowing this upon me.  It came in the nick of time -- that's what friends are for! These rules apply if you're going to do this on Facebook. I'm not changing things up for the sake of the blog . To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your title as "Getting to know each other!", tag 25 people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish. 1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:36  2. How do you like your steak? Rare -- meaning, I rarely eat red meat. It's nothing personal against cows nor is it a moral statement. My bo...

Here I am noshing on a Honeycrisp apple. If you've never eaten one then you're truly missing out on one of nature's most delightful snacks. But that is not what this post is about.  Nope. I just wanted to explain the reason my keyboard is sticky -- an excuse for my typos, by the way. I worked all day and it wasn't until around 4:30 that I was struck with a serious case of the yawns.  My sleepiness can be blamed on staying up later than my usual 10:30 PM bedtime.  I know! Outrageous party animal am I!  It was around 12:30 AM when my phone was going dead for the second time. Obviously the cosmic gods were telling me to go to bed. You see, Saturday night brought some serious catch up with the best friend I've never met.  My house phone battery went belly up -- yes, I'm a weirdo with a land line. Immediately after that I grabbed my cell which had been charging.  I knew my Blondie gal in Cali and I had babbled and laughed for a few hours.  It wasn't unti...

I realize that nothing has been posted here since November 16. Five days! In blog days that's like a months.  Sorry. I've been preoccupied with work.  Not to mention there really isn't anything interesting or amusing taking place in the House of 'Riss. I'm working out regularly.  Oh yeah, that's not news.  I paid a visit to Kankakee Natural Foods . It is not nearly as vast as Whole Foods that all my friends seem to be enamored with, but it's a nice little store with all the essentials. It'll be a cold day before this community sees the likes of Whole Foods, me thinks. Wal-Mart is simply no place to find the best in natural or organic foods.  That's not to say I'm a health freak/warrior.  But variety of tofu is not readily available at the mega-mart.  Nor is coconut nectar, coconut juice etc... Now that you've come to my blog aren't you happy I haven't been blogging lately? Seriously, could I be more boring?  When my day off final...

You've seen it. You want it. Don't put it off! Commit and get 25% off retail price. Summer weddings? Graduation? Bikini weather?  It will all be here before you know it.  Do you see your pharmacist as much as you see your kids? Maybe it's time to take control of your health care. Let's do this thing together! It's FREE until the end of 2010.

Ladies, let's face it! Being a woman is difficult in the realm of ... well, nearly everything when compared to men. That's particularly true when it comes to losing weight.  Difficulty goes up when you're a female over 40. Now I'm over 45 (just turned in August) and I read articles about the collection of belly blubber thanks to my ever decreasing estrogen levels.  Seriously, hormones can just suck it!! Hey, at least my libido is decreasing, right? With no applicable suitors hot on my tail, I guess that's a perk. Another downside of trying to lose a lot of weight at my age is that ye olde metabolism is ridiculously slow. Imagine Barney Fife trying to push a stalled Amtrak uphill while wearing stilettos. In the snow. Yes, it's laughable! Working out is my best defense partnered with eating right. It's ever apparent that, unlike my early to mid twenties, that doing 45 minutes of high impact aerobics four times a week and eating 'as usual' will not ...

Kitty cats and video games.  The two things that my son loves. Our cats only give me attention when he's not around. Otherwise, they snub me for his attention.  I don't know what it is, seriously.  They dash away from me and run under beds.  Yet, with Mancub, they willfully go to him.  Silver is especially skittish with me. There's no chance of me holding her in my arms.  She becomes this spastic, skin shredding psycho.  With Mancub she's docile.  She anxiously awaits him each morning.  Every night after he showers she paces for him to emerge. Then, she races to the couch, meows as if commanding him to sit down so she can hop up on him and snuggle.  What really gets to me is the smug look she gives me as she cozies up to Mancub. After posting a few photos of my son with his furry companions, my friend and fellow blogger Angie Bailey asked if Mancub would like to be part of a regular feature on her blog Catladyland : Men Who Love Cats ....

The title of this post is nearly longer than the actual post itself.  When my friend Clark Brooks asked me to guest blog for him earlier this month I thought there was no possible way I could possibly fill in for him.  Clark is unique in his writing style.  That is intended as a form of flattery.  His ability to take what one might consider a mundane observation and turn it into an entire blog entry leaves me awe stricken.  Without a thought of what I'd write about, I sat here at my eight or more year old Dell computer handed down to me by the sister of a good friend when she got all fancy shmancy by upgrading to a Mac.  What transpired is pure gold.  It's as if the spirit of F. Scott Fitzgerald overcame me and my deep seated mental issues became my muse.  Please, go to Clark's blog, aptly titled, Ridiculously Inconsistent Trickle of Consciousness and read my entry.  But do not stop there. Peruse his other mindless ... err, well thought out...

I am that girl who wells up with tears each time our National Anthem, The Star Spangled Banner , is played. While I prefer it being sung clearly and as written without vocal acrobatics, it's the sentiment and what it represents that brings forth a great sense of pride and humility.  There is no possible way my simple words can ever exhibit how grateful I am for those who've served in our great military and forged ahead regardless of the circumstances that lay before them. They've given without thought to self.  They've sacrificed greatly for our freedom.   All I can offer is THANK YOU. 

This is it! Once again this girl is on her way to improved health and fitness!! Aren't you just thrilled for me? I could use some back up to hold me accountable through the holidays.  The tab labeled "join my team" is calling out to you. Anyway, back in the swing of things with my workouts. On Team Beachbody there's a schedule for the workout program that I am using --  TURBO FIRE.  When I log into the WOWY Supergym, it tells me which dvd to use.  The rest is up to me.  Plus, each time I log into WOWY I'm entered for a chance to win cash or prizes.  No longer am I doggin' it and taking the easy way out.  My mind tells me I can jump and tuck so my feet and legs do it. Kind of. I mean, I'm not four feet off the ground with my knees under my chin, but I DO leave the ground. Today is the renewal of eating well.  That is harder than a marathon series of sumo burpees.  Focus is my champion right now.  To further motivate me I'm turning t...

It's rather cliche' to say that I'm a work in progress.  Aren't we all? Sure, yours truly needs a lot more work than the average gal.  At least when I look in the mirror that is the resounding affirmation.  It's not my appearance, though that is part of it.  It's what goes on beneath my thinning mix of gray and brown locks.  The other day I posed a question on my Facebook wall about online dating site. So, who out there has found a decent human being to date through an online dating service? My curiosity is for .. uh, research. Yeah, that's it. If you're a long time reader of this blog then you know of the dating woes I've experienced at the hand of Match.com and eHarmony, as well as, meeting men the traditional way.  What came of that question in the thread was an unraveling of Marissa.  What was even more surprising (to me) was an outpouring of compassion, reassurance and thoughtfulness.  What I learned is that I don't see in myself what o...

The other night I awoke from a dream.  It wasn't like any other dream that disturbed my slumber.  Awaking wasn't due to something shocking or upsetting.  However, it was rather curious.  For the past couple of days I've been thinking about it.  Seeking consult from websites that give hidden meaning to the symbols in dreams left me with few answers.  That is why I'm writing about it.  I'm hoping someone reading this will give me some insight. It's not uncommon for a parent to dream of protecting her child.  In my dream, Mancub is in tow at his current age and size.  I'm leading him as we venture through snowy terrain -- a mountain.  Along this journey we encounter treacherous caverns that are wide, but we will never make our destination (unknown at this time) if we don't leap over them.  The one in particular that I remember was daunting.  I look down and see nothing but darkness.  But my stride is long and I make it acro...

It was a rule in the household that no one -- at least the girls -- was allowed to date before turning sixteen.  Oh sure, of the five girls in our family I know at least one caused an uproar to change that law. Another may have dated but did so quietly under parental radar.  As for me, I usually adhered to rules rather than cause a ruckus or question authority.  Being the youngest afforded me many lessons learned by proxy. As a youngin' I always had friends who were male.  That's not an uncommon situation.  Once in junior high school boys became less appealing for friendship and moreso for 'going with'.  Naturally, the family rule of 16 kept me from openly pursuing a boy to date.  I developed crushes.  These would be big crushes on boys who possibly didn't know I was alive let alone like me in return.  But, I'd spend each morning primping in hopes that I'd catch the object of my affections glance.  Even if effective it would have been...