Tuesday, April 27, 2010
And then there were 6 -- Idol Snark-O'Rama!
Well, it appears the darling of the Great White North will be mentoring tonight. I speak of Shania Twain, of course. Oof! She can teach everyone how to sound like they are having an orgasm while managing to sound like a nagging whiny ass simultaneously. Yeah, she's pretty and all -- Plus, she got cheated on by one of the ugliest men to walk the face of the earth, but I don't dig her tunage. I presume it's gonna be a honky tonkin' country hullabaloo this evening.
I wonder how BM (Michael Lynche) will Luther Vandross the hell out of a country song? Will he swagger to and fro to let his balls of steel air out? Y'all know what I'm talking about.
Will Lee enlist the help of Bag Pipes? A troup or spoon playin', washboard scrubbin' yee-haw urchins?
Will Casey James straighten his hair and put down the broken record of a performance he keeps churning out week after week. If he was fuuuuug-ly he'd be gone by now.
Will Siobhan calm the vocal squalering, leave the butterfly arboretum at home and just sing?
This is right up Aar-chuletta's alley. He can finally squeak out Rascall Flatts tunes like they were intended -- ear piercingly high and nasal! Shania will love him and likely nestle the tike in her bosom to calm his nerves.
No doubt Crystal will crank out some serious singin' -- maybe she'll play the banjo or mandolin!