It's officially New Year's Eve '09.
Currently, I am overcome with a fit of the weepies. Waking at 4:00 AM might have something to do with it. Sleep deprivation seems like a good source of blame. But that's not why I feel overwhelmed with the power of emotion. My heart and soul are whirling in a cacophony of feelings. All of this was set forth after a morning of volleying emails with that friend I've reconnected with after years of wondering how he has been since graduation. For that alone I am glad I couldn't sleep in this morning.
While I am looking forward to what 2010 will bring, I am riddled with anxiety to bid 2009 farewell. That's not to say '09 has been nothing but a big party. This year has been a psychosensory roller coaster. But on that ride of twists and turns there has been tremendous personal growth. I think this has been my best year ever in that regard. That is not to say '09 hasn't been difficult. Two close friends have said their final good byes to their mothers. That's an experience I wish upon no one -- having gone through it myself at age 15. However, because of that I was further able to deal with grieving my Mom. It's a process that never ends.
We bid farewell to my Unca Chunk -- there's a life story worth re-telling. He was so close to my Mom. This year was the first year since '81 none of us received a call from him on her birthday.
I've watched my family grow ... and grow ... and grow. It's a thing of beauty. I want to make a collage of my family. All of them. Seriously, it will blow your minds. My hope for the coming year is that my kinfolk will manage to keep open hearts and minds so they might experience the growth more richly.
My sister Maureen's battle with cancer continues, but miracles never cease. She's the happiest I've ever seen her in her adult life. Whoddathunk it, ya know? But that's her story to tell ... perhaps she'll grace all of you with more detail by being a guest blogger on WILDHAIR in the coming year.
I can't let another sentence be written without talking about Mancub. All the credit isn't on me, mind you. He's an amazing boy who hasn't been without challenge, but he rises above each and every instance. I joke that I believe God knew I'd be raising him alone. As a result, he's the easiest child to rear. Oh sure, maybe he spends more time on video games and less on studying, but he's not a speck of trouble. Period. He has the respect and adoration of his teachers and administration. Transitioning into high school hasn't been without faults or drama, but he's not begged to stay home. He faces each day with a new outlook. I admire him. I hope one day I will manage such a mindset. How many parents can say their children are their heroes, huh?
This year has helped me open myself up to friendship. That is not to say I shunned people before, but I started opening up to the possibilities of developing long term relationships. The razor wire fortress I once wrapped around myself is far less forboding. You can laugh and point fingers of stupidity at the use of Facebook, but the connections I've made through that once silly social networking site only teens used has been a major player. EASTRIDGE CLASS OF '83 RULES! If you were ever a Raider you'll understand.
So, while my heart is rather heavy to say bon voyage to 2009, by midnight tonight I'll manage to muster the excitement for 2010: A Riss-Odyssey. ........... stay tuned! This is gonna be great!!