If I could punch a movie in the face ... Yes, I am a volatile person. I have potential to be, that is. I keep the violence contained in my head and don't let it travel to my fists, but rest assured if I ever unleash all this pent up fire beneath it will be a hailstorm of fury that'll make Chuck Norris seem like a whimpering pussy.
It has been said that when I'm passionate about something I give it full on support. Likewise, when I despise something, I am equally passionate in my disgust and distaste for the subject matter. That includes people. So, watch out!
In the last installment, I revealed the winners of the punch in the pie hole. For review you can go here to see the winners along with my reasoning (quite honestly I don't think I have to justify anything. I just hate the movies.).
While I compile this next list, I am torturing myself as St. Elmo's Fire churns out it's shittastic dialogue on AMC. It basically has tossed kerosene on the fire.
So, without further ado, I will reveal the movies that have earned this dubious honor. These movies can't even be categorized as guilty pleasures in the House of Riss.
Indecent Proposal: Seriously, Bob! What were you thinking? Have your other amazing efforts as actor, director and producer not brought in enough cash that you had to sell your soul to the likes of Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson ... and a hippopotamus? Did you just want an excuse to feel up the once nursing Mrs. Willis so you agreed to make this celluloid dreck? There is not one redeeming quality to this movie! I remember going to the theater to see it with my good friend Kathy. We laughed. A lot. She said out loud, "Oh Bob! What have you done!?" Bob, of course, is Robert Redford. Oh, Sundance, what did you do to have been party to such a train wreck? Were you being black mailed? I know I'm not alone in loathing this movie.
Little Nicky: I like Adam Sandler. His movie soundtracks are reason enough for me to justify watching his works. I enjoy most of his movies. He's clearly stuck in the '80s and that gives him street cred in my book. With that being said, I cannot bear to listen let alone watch him as he plays the son of Satan. Sandler's voice in this film is so irritating that I want to take Q-tips and push them deep into my brain via ear canal. My son and nephews laugh hysterically as Sandler does his schtick. They are lucky I love them so much or I might be inclined to disown them. In fact, their like of the movie is the reason I feel compelled to mention my hatred for it. It gets enough airplay on television that it's clear someone else loves it. Or, Sandler made a pact with the devil.
The Big Lebowski: Maybe I just don't get it. Everyone who has seen this movie seems to love it. And when I say love I mean they quote it; they live it; they breathe it; they adore it. I fought to watch the whole thing. Maybe mass quantities of alcohol is needed to be consumed. Perhaps imbibing in the ganja would be required in order for a straight laced gal like myself to get into it. I realize that by admitting this my application to the cool kids club will be rejected, but I'm willing to risk it. I'm not cool and I can admit it with my head held high (all the while having an atomic wedgey inflicted upon me). You can blame my frequent bouts with vapidity for why I didn't get into Lebowski. Color me a dolt and a dunderhead.
There might come a day when I'm bat-shit out of my head and I get drunk and stoned enough to watch and revel in the supposed greatness of Jeff Bridges and John Goodman. Until then, I don't give a shit about THE DUDE.