Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Say what!?

I wish I could make a fortune (or at least my current salary with compensation for benefits and paid holidays) doing what I do online for fun. Yes, I realize 99.9% of onliners feel similarly. Oh, you say onliner isn't really a word? I can make up words or forms of words with the snap of my finger. Or more appropriately, with a tappity tap on the keyboard. I believe such a new creation is called a portmanteau word. Pretty freakin' fancy for compound wordery, huh? The other definition of portmanteau is a large suitcase. Whatever.

The demonstrative word used in the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary is smog. Smoke + fog = smog. I prefer less obvious but regularly used creations. The more I focus on discovering these kinds of words the more I realize my online vocabulary isn't tonguegasmic. Everybody is doing it. In fact, while reading Jen Lancaster's book Bitter is the New Black, she uses the word 'craptacular.' I felt such an immediate kinship with her.

The first time I noticed such a mashing is in the Will Ferrell movie Elf. Will's character, Buddy, remarks that something is ginormous. The combination of gigantic and enormous. It took off like wildfire. Since then, I've noticed it flowing from the mouths of tweens to octogenarians.
Of course, Van Morrison delighted us with fantabulous night for a moondance in the song Moondance. That has made it's way into the afore mentioned dictionary as slang meaning marvelously good. Gosh! I almost forgot when Beyonce' and Destiny's Child put BOOTILICIOUS on the map. I do believe it garnered entry into the dictionary, as well.

I find myself using portmanteau words at an alarming rate (much to the chagrin of stern English majors.) I most commonly use them when I'm chatting about American Idol. Seriously, it's more fun to say Lil gave a shittastic performance over, "Well, that was incredibly disappointing and beneath her ability." Yes, the latter is ideal if you're writing professionally, I suppose, but I do it for the snarkaliciousness of it all -- i did it again. Did you notice?

I suspect I'm taking the meaning to extremes, but isn't fun to goof around with the English language? Heck, if you're well versed in other languages you can have verbal melting pot. Sometimes it just rolls off the tongue. It can't be stopped and isn't always deliberately used. It's a habit. I doubt there's a 12-step program for it. And even if there was such a protocol to rid one of such word abuse, I wouldn't enroll. I enjoy it and take too much joy in it.

Here are a few of my favorites. Feel free to add your faves in the comment section.

Sexellent (thanks Scott)

Who remembers Sniglets? Rich Hall declared these words "any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should." It goes on further on Wikipedia that these words are neologisms. Are you confused yet? Is your brain boiling? Fear not! That's just an uppity way of saying they are newly coined words rapidly making their way into common use, but not accepted by mainstream language ... or are they?

The world is now twisted and connected via the Internet. I could instant message a friend in Lisbon and he'd know what I meant when I declared a situation skankified. Never underestimate the power of mutilated language, my friends.

I may sound like a babbling idiot to many. In fact, some folks may feel inclined to call the men in white coats to take me away. I'm gifted! They will realize my vocabulary is fantastically funkolicious and they need to chillax and ride the wave. It might be difficult at first, but I guarantee is going to be groovilicious.

spell checking was a trip, by the way.


  1. This was great fun, btw. Don't give that chick credit for "Craptacular", that's been around for a while. Do I sound like Cartman and his fishdicks? I digress.

    I personally boycott anything with "-licious" at the end of it. This coming from once having to look at an actress's set chair all day long that didn't have her actual name on it... but said (in bedazzled cursive) "Rinnalicious". You just can't take that seriously.

    However, you'd be surprised at exactly who comes up with some of these words. I was sitting in the company of the same people who gave you "Va-jay-jay" when they came up with "mangerines". They thought it was hilarious. I didn't think it was going to fly. Um... fly #4.

    1. (V) to move in or pass through the air with wings.
    2. (N) Small, winged insect.
    3. (Adj) very good, excellent; COOL.
    4. (V) win popular acceptance.

  2. Expresshole: A person who goes thru the grocery store's 12 item express line with 22 items ... is my fave SNIGLET by Rich Hall. I have the book.

    It's fun to coin new words when the situation calls for them. You & Sean are both very good at it & I admire that.

    B.G. & Cash Money Millionaires coined the oft-used "Bling-Bling" with the title of that song. (I think)

  3. I do this all time time. My personal favorite is "baconocity." My goal is to develop all sorts of bacon-themed words. Bacon vernacular. It's baconacular!

  4. As far as portmanteaus are concerned, I'm a big fan of fucktarded.

    And regarding Sniglets, I've always been a fan of Eastroturf (n. That fake grass you line Easter baskets with and then find in corners of rooms months later) and Essoasso (n. A person who cuts through a gas station at a corner to avoid being stopped by a red light).


Say what!?