Thursday, April 2, 2009

Ain't no sunshine

I'm just going to blurt this out and release it from my system:

I FRIGGING HATE THIS DREADFUL, MIDWESTERN, ARMPIT-OF-AMERICA WEATHER!!!!

There, I feel much better. Not so much. It didn't give me the satisfaction I was hoping for. I have to put the blame on something for my funkgasmic mood. I'm not referring to the Earth, Wind and Fire variety of funky, either.

If the sun does shine around here it's cold with a wind that cuts through you like a hot blade through butter. I feel like a damned shut in. Something has to give. I'm ready for a death match with Mother Nature. That bitch is going down, my friends. I have enough vitriol in my system that I'm an industrial sized pressure cooker ready to blow. And that's not a good sort of blow.

Mother Nature warned us not to mess with her on the margarine commercials. She can kiss my lily white ass, thankyouverymuch. I don't know if this is payback for all the Aqua Net I sprayed on my ginormous hair in the '80s or if I produce too much post consumer trash, but come on!

When I was a little girl, my friend Renee' and I joined the "Give a Hoot. Don't Pollute" campaign. We made signs asking people to be responsible. We canvassed the neighborhood and picked up garbage people carelessly tossed out of their cars or trash strewn about in the alleys by dogs on the loose. When I go on my walks I tend to pick up trash other people are just too lazy to throw away.

Global warming; shmobal warming. I think the winter temperatures started around late September and have yet to yield. This winter has been more wickedly cold than any other I can recall. Enough.

I need warming!

2 comments:

  1. As the MIL of Rupe says: "You can always get warm. Getting cool ... that's the trick"

    Smart woman ... sometimes .....

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  2. This winter has so sucked. In like a lamb out like a lion my ass - It's snowing here again.... sigh.... Of course, I'll complain bitterly in July. Just watch me....

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