Monday, March 1, 2010

Cougar = icky in the book of Riss

While perusing my Facebook profile for new comments, I took note of the numerous aggravating ads that take residence on the right side margin. An X is provided to dismiss the advertisement, but not before answering why you don't like it. As soon as you give them reason, another ad pops up in its place and often more misleading or offensive.  One such ad had a header "Classy Cougars." Uh, whoa. Stop right there. Did that ad just call me a skanky, old broad with a little bit of cash, fake tits and the desire to uber hump 25 year old men only for the thrill of the kill?

If you haven't guessed it already, I despise the term COUGAR. Loathe it. Regard it with great contempt.

Since it is a made up, social term, I turned to Urban Dictionary to find the common definition of cougar.  Not anywhere on the first page does it describe the woman I am.  Far from it and proudly so. For the record, at the time of posting this there are 100 definitions of the older woman on the prowl for youthful, male flesh. After flipping through the pages, some of the descriptions detail a lower-key woman, but still on a quest for younger men who'll satisfy her hunger for sex. 

I realize television shows like ABC's "Cougartown" or TVLand's "The Cougar" try to make the term an acceptable term of endearment about women in their prime (40s and 50s) who have a penchant for younger men. Women who seek love and compassion from the younger set. To me, they depict women who, though financially independent and seemingly put together, are pathetic, needy and use their quest for sex as a filler for acceptance. But I realize that my perspective is partially due to my view of it being an insult. This brand of sexual revolution is not how I want to be categorized or labeled. In fact, why must I be labeled at all? At least let me deserve the name you call me before sticking me with some idiotic term.  What rubs me the wrong way about cougar is due to the usual preconceived assumption that unmarried women in their mid-life fall into the category. Am I single and in my mid 40s? Yes. Have I dated men younger than myself? Yes. Though I did not seek them out intentionally. Additionally, I do not troll the bars hunting young meat to slam against the wall and do to them whatever my loins urge me to do.  I'm not a slave to my vagina. Just sayin'.

For the record, I am not calling all women skeevy just because they like to refer to themselves as cougars. It's probably safe to assume those women are not aware of the negative connotations attached to it. Or hell, maybe they are and rejoice in it. All I'm asking is not to be called one nor assumed to be one because of my age and marital status.

And now that I've vented, I feel better ... probably pissing a few people off along the way.

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