Beware the stare

When I read the first 3 words of my horoscope this morning my heart went pitter patter. It was quickly replaced by a sense of panic. I work in a mall. Do you realize the number of freakazoids who meander the corridors of a mall? I work where we're on display like poo-flinging monkeys in the zoo! I have no idea who might be gazing at me. I'd die a thousand deaths if it's Mullet man. Seriously, if that was the case I'd pull a Samurai suicide with a dull butter knife.

A certain someone -- after yet another day of boring through your soul with their penetrating glances -- will finally approach you and say what's on their mind: you! If you're unattached and interested, this could be the one. You know, The One! For good measure, how about returning a few intense stares yourself? Just don't be surprised when once the staring begins, few words are exchanged.

I've not been feeling a penetration of any sort lately... glances or otherwise. There's no doubt that I'm often clueless or just assume no one in their right mind would be interested in me. So even if I do feel that a 'certain someone' is looking my way I rush to a mirror to see if I have the toilet lid protector hanging from my wasteband. Yeah yeah... self-esteem smelf eshteem. I can't help that my parents gave me an overdose of humility in my formula.