Thursday, November 12, 2009

At a loss

For the past two days my Facebook status has expressed that I have nothing to say. That's not wholly true. Plenty of thoughts swirl around in my head like a cyclone; yet, I'm unable to express them.

This is often a startling concept to people who see me as someone never at a loss for something to say. I'm a known babbler. Often in that babbling comes insight and or profound revelations. However, there are circumstances which leave me dumbfounded. Incapable of channeling a great poet to offer words of hope and wisdom, I remain silent amongst the bounty of tears that flow.

How do you offer comfort to a friend who has just said goodbye to his mother? How do I appear selfless and sympathetic while I mourn an amazing woman? A rush of personal experience of loss leaves a feeling of complete uselessness.

This outstanding woman wasn't simply my friend's mom. She was Mama Nelson to all who knew her. She embraced each of us as we walked over the threshold of her home. Never did we feel unwelcome. Always greeting us with a smile. We weren't just Tom's friends. We were her kids by association. For me, the association goes deeper. Mama knew my mother and uncles. Catholic school kids. I felt a great kindred spirit with her for that.

Mama managed to raise four very unique children on her own. Little did I know 30 years ago that she'd be a spectacular role model to me as a single mother. She gave her kids the best possible. My friend Tommy has her love and compassion. I can't imagine what my life would be like had we not become friends. Every body loves Tommy. Trust me that if you met him you'd understand why. He's a loving reflection of Mama.

Tomorrow I will go to her visitation. I don't know if I'll manage to find the right words to offer comfort. I may only cry and embrace my dearest friend. I hope that will be enough.


  1. Missy,
    this is absolutely beautiful!!!!! Thanks for a lovely testimony about an amazing woman.

  2. I am truly sorry that you lost someone so dear.

  3. Much love and many prayers to your friend Tommy, his family, and all of you who loved his mother as your own. May you all find peace in your memories.

    Fair winds and following seas to Mama Nelson. Every child should have one of her in their lives.



Say what!?