Friday, February 27, 2009

Questionable discussions

I've spent the last couple of days whining and complaining about nearly everything that crossed my path. Like a child tugging on her ear, I should have realized that illness was settling in. Now, I know many of you are accustomed to my cynical and sarcastic method of writing. I do try to weave in humor when I'm bitching and moaning; yet, it's so easy to become settled in that mindset and not get out.
What struck me too close to home is expressing joyfulness for absolutely no reason while at work and being accused of being drunk or high. Naturally they didn't really think I was under the influence, but clearly such jovial behavior isn't what they typically see. In my defense, that's a crock of shit. I'm happy a lot of the time, but people tend to ruin the moment with their stupidity. I have a lot of contempt for my job and I don't know why. Let's blame stagnation in order to remove blame from any one specific person whose mere existence annoys me to no end.
I need to remove my personal feelings towards many people in my life. I'm forced to have them in my life due to circumstances of employment. It's difficult when you only want to do your job, collect a paycheck and get the hell out of dodge when your shift is over. As I said, I do not befriend everyone with whom I work.

A good friend presented me with a situation in her place of employment. It's a small group of people and it's not uncommon for people to discuss their personal lives. It's normal. But there are lines that seem to be crossed with a particular person of authority. While she shared her quandary with me, I had to evaluate my own situation at work. In doing so, a lot of "things that make you go hmmmm" came up.

Here's a question, how does one go about telling a person of higher position that you do not want to learn about their personal life ... particularly knowledge that said higher position person is spending the night with a new companion or how much new companion spends on her or him? While the rest of us are struggling in a recession, I find it in poor taste and inappropriate bragging. Surely this person has friends outside of work to share these details. Why, WHY!? do people equate happiness and affection with the amount spent on them?

I'm a little off track. I'll come back to the money = affection scenario in another post.
What I do want to know is how would you handle this matter? Have you ever been in a situation where your boss person shares more information than you ever wanted to learn? Do you respect a person who is in a position of authority when they spend more time discussing how many Benjamins were doled out on their behalf while they should be discussing how business is slagging? Have you ever been called at home by your boss only to realize the work related question was nothing more than a ruse and a means to talk about themselves?
In my naturally snarky manner, I would advise my friend to tell her boss person that she sounds like a gold digging tramp and needs to keep the business in the work place and keep her private life just that. I would feel justified in speaking to her in such a manner by saying, "You're crossing the line of work and pleasure. When you talk to me about your personal life, I no longer see you as my boss but a gossiping trollop and I expect no retaliation for this reaction. I am hereby asking you cease this line of sharing. You and I are not friends. Please, check your personal life at the gate." Obviously such a comment would probably send the boss person into a frenzied pouting session and leave my friend feeling like the bad guy when she'd be speaking for the whole in her expression.
At what point would you call upon human resources for intervention? Would you ask for a meeting with the offending person and a 3rd party in order to keep it 'in house'?

9 comments:

  1. Like Chrissie Hynde sings:

    Private life, drama baby leave me out.

    I personally wouldn't get involved with that mess. It'll only turn & bite you in the ass.

    Your boss sounds like a part-time hooker. Maybe the `boys in blue` should be called upon, not the human resource dept. Just listen politely, nod like Bill Murray, & get away from her as fast as you can.

    & it's very weird that your boss would call you at home just to `brag` about her latest fcuk.

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  2. There is something to be said for choosing your work position wisely.

    Even so, it’s not always something that is within your control.

    It honestly sounds as if this person has no self control and no common sense. Extra emphasis on the common sense. Not someone I would want to relate with.

    So …. best thing to do might be to tactfully state: “I’m sorry, but I’m a bit uncomfortable discussing your personal life and personal finances. I think they might be best kept to yourself, especially so among people in your employment circle that view you as a person of authority and who you need to be around on a daily basis in a working relationship. I would rather not hear about these issues, if it’s all the same to you.”

    Getcher game face on a’fore stating such, of course.

    Best of luck, Good Friend of Riss.

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  3. Oy to the vey. I would get on the nearest board and surf off into the sunset for sure. That is a line that shouldn't be crossed. I think you just have to say something but keep it short, direct and to the point, less is more here. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

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  4. Isn't insecurity boring? Insecurity about one as a whole? That's the boss, right there... not bragging to tear someone else down, but to build herself up because she somehow feels inadequate.
    Because of the horror stories everywhere right now, I wouldn't risk an income by telling the authority figure to please keep mum. I would, however, very blatantly avoid this person... appearing busier than usual, needing to check my "silent ringing" cell phone or even crassly changing the subject mid-sentence: "Oh that reminds me of Eva Gabor in Green Acres! Didn't you just love Arnold the Pig?"
    Yeah.

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  5. Riss,

    Miss your `wacky` videos!

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  6. Riss, I hate to say this but suck it up and let it pass. After losing my last job, I'd almost be happy to have these kinds of "problems" again. I know it seems like an no-win situation to get involved with this bimbo, but let it go, keep your head down and keep on keeping a roof over Mancub's head....and YOURS too.
    dave

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  7. It doesn't sound like it's awful, yet. Your boss sounds a little clueless. Still, I'd go with the vibrating cell phone excuse, before it gets worse. Avoid being alone with this particular boss. The one time I had a chatty boss with love interest problems, the next time people needed to be let go I was on the short list. I've always wondered if it was partly because my boss saw me as a risk - I knew way too much about her her private life.

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  8. You are Hilarious. That's it. Just a funny, funny person. Glad I found your life to read.

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  9. I want to thank everyone who gave advice and or support. I realize how I perceive things is of more importance than that which is being said. Typically, I manage to escape the droning about questionable personal details, but when I found out this 'twit' called a young woman who is off on maternity leave, I wanted to SCREAM! Can you imagine only wanting to savor your time with your newborn and getting a call disguised as an inquiry about returning to work and it be completely about how much a new dude is spending? Unbelievable. I did report that incident to my immediate supervisor so he might have an opportunity to nip it in the bud before taking it to a higher level.

    Touched, welcome to my randomosity!

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