I have a confession to make.
I've lacked motivation for two months. Regardless of the wild success experienced in the first 90 days of my weight loss journey, I have lost the edge of ambition. My workouts haven't eased up. If anything I have pushed myself harder. The reason? It seemed the best thing to get over the hump. Yet, something triggered the junk food junky in me. The addict reared her fat, cellulite covered, sloppy, disgusting self. I've been pretending that everything is hunky dory and nothing can get in the way of me and my goals. I've lied to you. It was done as a means to convince myself that it was only temporary and if I talked a big game I'd believe it. Wrong. I'm humbly sorry and ashamed.
Wearing the mask is uncomfortable and I've got to be me.
Today, as with last three days, have held me under the weather. Headaches and nausea abound as I force myself to workout each morning. Although, today I succumbed to it. Whatever it is lurking in my system has been relentless. Sweating it out clearly is not the right choice. That theory was tested yesterday. Rather than pushing play on the intensity of Turbo Fire, I slogged through the less strenuous but mightily rigorous Turbo Jam 20 Minutes. Even after a shower and Shakeology -- which combined with working out usually takes care of any bleah symptoms -- did not work. The dull headache, instead of vanishing, climbed to an excruciating level.
What the hell?
My son called me late in the day Thursday to tell me he'd expelled the contents of his stomach in a violent, projectile manner all over the bathroom. He apologized incessantly for the mess as he groaned in agony on the phone. He has not been sick in over ten years. A decade of good health. This is a boy who gets over a cold in 48 hours. Sick. Not just feeling a little blah. Full blown barf-o-matic accompanied by fever.
I had my answer for why I'd been feeling downright crappy.
I'm taking a break from my workouts for the entire weekend and I'll start fresh with the Turbo Fire workouts on Monday. Additionally, my eating habits will return to healthful choices no matter what my foolish food addict inner voice tells me. Sabotage is not an option.