I haven't kept it a secret that my 45th birthday is approaching. Yes, I'm still pushing for it to be a national holiday. Hey! Lofty dreams aren't a crime.
It's a rarity for the scenarios that happen in my noggin to occur in real life. Therefore, I know I won't awaken to find a loin clothed hotty serving me breakfast in bed nor will that be followed with a chauffeured escort to a spa where I'll receive my first ever full body massage -- happy ending optional.
Instead, my day will consist of one known detail: I have to renew my driver's license. It didn't dawn on me until last night that this is the year it expires. How often do you look at your state ID? The only reason my peepers got a look at mine is because I took it from its hermetically sealed entrapment in my wallet. Why? Because, now don't laugh too hard, I was going out and thought some silly ass might card me. Shut! UP! The signs behind the bars always say if you don't look 99 then we'll card you -- or some goofy nonsense like that. I haven't been mistaken for being under 21 since I was 19.