Rapier's Wit

Last week, as you know, was emotionally stressful and I simply existed in a fog. Rapid fire mood changes brought on, initially, by my Uncle Chuck's passing. Unfortunately for those within my line of fire, PMS or PMDD or what-the-fugever chickish hormonal problem also kicked in and ... I snapped ever so slightly at work. The computers kept crashing and no one bothered to call the tech line to find out if the issue was network related or just our location. Then, when I -- yes, I called the help line -- informed the powers that be that it was, indeed, a corporate server issue, they continued to use the computers rather than the 'system down kit' as instructed by the broadcast bulletin. UGH! Anyway, the lab computer wouldn't stay online ... no one was listening to me. My psycho vein on the left side of my head pulsated. I'm quite certain my skin was turning green as my flesh tore at the seams of my clothing. Thank God for Lycra infused fabrics. That's all ...

I was scolded only yesterday for making the statement that I do not possess the power over men that some women do. I have no lingering impact when all is said and done. Oh, a guy might remember my big hooters or the fact that I'm tall, but overall, I have a tendency to be the girl least likely to be a keeper. At least for the time being that is true. Save all your pep talks and reassurance that there is someone out there just for me. Nickelback ruined that concept with their power-pop-rock song. A mere week ago, I was at work going about my usual routine of working, inputting paper work for the day. It was early evening and a name that was strikingly familiar popped up on the screen. Due to the familiarity, I cautiously looked out on the retail floor to see if a recognized anyone. The coast was clear. No faces that rang a bell were to be seen. The uniqueness of this name was undoubtedly the child of someone I've written about on this blog. ARM aka Asshat Running Man....

Feel free to call me strange. Take shots at my philosophy on death and dying. Cry along with me as I take a journey of grief. Which ever view you take on what you're about to read, I welcome your input and thoughts. On Monday evening, the man I wrote about in my previous post took his last breath. With a heavy decision to make, my sister Maureen (Unca Chunk's power of attorney) signed a DNR (do not resuscitate) order. Under consultation and advisement of doctors and family it was decided, but ultimately it was Maureen's signature that put the finality on easing our uncle's suffering. I cannot fathom the range of emotions she experienced as she put pen to paper. Once again, I admire her courage. Sunday I spent the day with Maureen helping her clean out that which was once her family's home. While shuffling through incidental items, she discussed with me the plan for our uncle. His ventilator would be removed on Monday afternoon. Hospice (as well as family) would be t...

Today my mind is like one of those carnival games where you spin the wheel and get whatever prize it stops on. Usually, it's some rinky-dink piece of shit you'll never use. Ooh! Chinese hand-cuffs! I'd like to think what I lay down here today will be of more interest. Plus, it won't cause dislocated knuckles. This morning I awoke to find I had used the last of the coffee yesterday. I suspect the busy-ish workday caused a mushy mind. When it was my time to clock out all I could think about was going home to find relief from the spasms I had experienced most of the day. So, stopping by the store to pick up vitally essential items was not on the agenda. I threw on comfy yoga pants, sneakers, a sweater and flew out the door. OK, make that groggily shuffled to the car. I realized that going to the store completely depleted of caffeine probably wasn't advisable. Therefore, McDonald's to the rescue! Non-fat mocha to go, please! K-Mart was the store closest to the McD...

I'm a celebrator of birthdays. I know a lot of people prefer to play down the anniversary of their births, but I find them all together fabulous. Sure, there are a select few I wish had never been born, but on the whole, I want people to know I appreciate their presence in my life. Even if I've never met the person, their existence on this planet has pertinence to my life. With that being said, I want to wish SEAN DALY of the St. Petersburg Times a very happy birthday. I pray he makes more of it with his family than he did last year. I won't go into it (he blogged about it), but he found himself in the Daly household dog house. He's embarking on the last year of his 30's. For a guy with a glorious full head of hair, gorgeous gams (you should see him in Mantyhose), and an infectious laugh, you'd never know he was so close to entering the second part of his life. I'd be an idiot to gloss over the fact that he's the co-host of a wildly, world-wide popular ...

The sound you will hear on this video is not me passing gas. It's the magic of my butt moving on the big blue Reebok ball. I swear! Believe me or not. I don't care. I feel no shame anymore. I didn't realize the sound was that audible until I replayed the vid. Since I am all about shooting myself in the raw, so to speak, I felt compelled to leave it rather than ruin the spontaneous frivolity that is moi!

Sometimes you have to give in to your wild hair. No, no. No one gave in to me . I'm still working on that aspect of my life. Blahville. You know how you can be sitting on your couch or staring at your computer screen and it hits you? That thing you just have to do. That spur of the moment-if-you-wait-it-won't-happen situation. That's what I succumbed to today and boy, did it feel awesome! I tend to over think everything. OK, not everything, but damned close. Like, I should have really over thought that marriage deal, but I didn't because I was scolding myself for thinking too much. First of all, I ate at McDonald's for breakfast. Yeah, yeah, I know it's awful and I'll probably regret it later, but I was suffering from a serious Southern Style Chicken Biscuit from the house of Ronald. So, I caved. Yum! I realized that I'd left my laundry detergent and softener at home. I had no desire to turn back. Wal-Mart wasn't too far out of the way ...

I've spent this entire week writing about my son's endeavor to raise money for Easter Seals. His goal was easily reached. Hooray! That in itself is cause for celebration, don't you think? Today was the day of the telethon. Mancub woke up and immediately gathered his clothes and headed for the shower. He didn't even eat first. Hygiene was a high priority. We weren't to report to the telethon site until 2:30 p.m. It was only 11:00 when he excitedly clomped down the stairs. I suggested he take it easy and he insisted he wanted to be prepared. Who am I to argue? The weather has been questionable, as of late. We've had lots of rain and threats of flooding. Yuck! The sky was alternating gloomy to partly sunny. I knew rain was in the forecast. No biggy! We won't melt. As we got our things together to leave the house, it happened. The wind had already been picking up and gusting, but it was the sound of tornado sirens that set us both into a slump of disappointment....

I just received word that we're to report by 2:30 p.m. to Chalfant Hall at Olivet Nazarene University for training on the phones for the Easter Seals Telethon. Then, at 3:00 p.m. we'll be ready for our close ups! Well, I pray not. At least for me, I want to remain off camera. I'm simply going as a show of support for Mancub and to do whatever is needed to assist the telethon. Grandma emailed to let Mancub know she'll be watching for him. He's fairly distinctive in a crowd thanks to being a head taller than the average kid. However, I want to make sure he's visible. Hmmm do you think a day-glo jumpsuit would be going too far? For those of you within the Kankakee, IL viewing area, you can catch the telethon on channel 4 on Comcast. Mancub and the Kankakee Junior High School's National Junior Beta Club will be manning the phones from 3 - 4 p.m. If you want to tune in but are out of that viewership, try logging on to www.olivet.edu for live streaming. ...

MANCUB'S GOAL WAS EXCEEDED! So, do you know what that means? We set a higher goal. For those of you who've already pledged your support, we thank you from the bottoms of our hearts. In these economically challenging times, we understand, first hand, how hard it is to dig deep. Please don't let the fact that Mancub's original goal to raise $200.00 was quickly obtained. Don't let that hinder you from stepping up. He never settles for a B+ when he knows an A+ can be attained. So, we've tweaked the donation goal to $300.00. Are you up for the challenge? Can you help him reach that? I knew that you could. Mancub's Champion page is awaiting you!! In honor of those who give in many capacities to help those in need, we dedicate the tune up yonder! Give 'er a listen. Do a little dance. I hope you like it!

Hello Dudes and Dudettes! Tuesday is for kindness. There are many bloggers who dedicate each Tuesday to sharing random acts of kindness, means in which they strive to be kind, witness kindness, etc... Go to my lovely friend Claudia's On A Limb to find a list of such people. Today I am asking to you review my previous blog post. My son is hoping your desire to do something wonderful and kind will help him in his endeavor to raise funds for the Easter Seals. If you're local, you can hold off and wait for the actual day of the telethon (Sunday, March 8), but we hope he'll exceed his personal goal. You don't have to feel obligated to donate a large sum. He managed to get each of his teachers to pledge $5.00 each. That's the cost of a venti, caramel machiato with a double shot. Your generosity is greatly appreciated. Have a lovely day and remember to seek out kindness in your hearts, as well as, your daily lives. You'll be richer for doing so. Plus, you might be sur...

Mancub, as you all know by now, is an astounding kid. His compassion knows no bounds. He consistently demonstrates outstanding character. Possessing such qualities earned him an invitation to be in his school's National Junior Beta Club. This fine group of kids participate in various good deeds throughout the school year. So, it's only natural they'd volunteer their time to work our local Easter Seals Telethon on March 8, 2009. That's only a week away! I've committed myself to joining in the fund raising endeavor to man the phones or do whatever is asked of me. I can't wait! Working along with some truly amazing people will do my cynical heart a lot of good. By now you're probably wondering how this has anything to do with you. If you aren't asking yourself that, now would be a good time to pay attention. Have you often watched the stories of families touched by Easter Seals and wished you could do something? Now is the time, my friends. I am asking you ...

Do not alert the media. This video isn't stellar nor awe inspiring. In fact, I just ramble. What a surprise! It's longish and there's no kitty howling in the background to add humor. Meowing can be heard, but it doesn't incite laughter. I noticed a comment had been made about my "Detox and Fonzie isn't cool" video. Some dude on youtube told me I wasn't cool being a 43 year old talking about Fonzie. DUH! Hey nitwit, that's the idea. I know I'm not cool. I'm a self proclaimed dork who rambles on incessantly. A single rating star sat sadly under the video about Happy February. Clearly, most people can't appreciate my humor or lack there of. Take your pick. Do I care? nope. Like I always say: It's my blog and I can do whatever I want with it.