...and I love you so

My mother's laugh was infectious. She possessed poise and beauty; yet, underneath lurked the pain of a child who lost her mother at a young age. Beneath the bobbed strawberry blonde curls was the mind of thoughtfulness and intellegence; a woman who longed for motherhood. She attained motherhood eight times over. I'm the youngest of her brood. The "caboose" of the Family Rapier.

Today marks the anniversary of my mother's birth. She left this earthly place in June of 1981. For many years I struggled with anger. I now understand that it was easier for me to hate her for leaving me. It made the pain seem less excrutiating. For years I held on to the aspects that were negative. I was scarred.

Today, I remember my mother for the many loving things she did. People felt important and loved in her presence. I miss her terribly. I miss the way she gave Christmas an extra cozy touch.

Music always filled our home. Whether it be good times or bad, a song could be heard. Despite the often tumultuous relationship with my dad, they still had their song.

I hope she's proud of the woman I've become. Happy Birthday Momma.