And then, there are those times when you know it's final and there isn't a response. It is then that we leave it up to God to take the message to the loved one you're saying good bye to.
I am finding it frustrating dealing with just that. I don't doubt that God has many messengers that will take a message to someone who had been a part of my life for nearly 30 years. I'm currently wishing that I could get a notice of receipt. You know how the United States Postal Service (for a small fee) will get a signature upon receipt. Then, you can rest assured the parcel or letter is given directly to the addressee. So, I'm pretty sure God utilizes the Internet. With that being said, this is my letter:
Your passing has left me feeling quite sad and distraught. I bet you never thought you'd have such an impact, huh? Well, ya big goober, you have. Everytime I watch television I think of you. If not for your ability to sniff out 'treasures in trash' I would still be watching that itty bitty TV.
I think about how much I'm going to miss your fabulous ham salad. Your ability to turn an overgrown zucchini into something out of this world delicious. Oh, and let's not forget how you could walk away from the grocery store with 5 bags of food and it would seem as if they owed you money. You were the king of bargain shopping. The clerks at Ultra Foods are going to miss you.
You've been an integral part of my life whether you saw it or not. Sometimes you were gruff and grumpy, but underneath it all I knew how much you loved us.
Spenser is wearing his "Goofy shirt" in your honor. "What are ya, goofy?" I can hear your Goofy laugh still in my memory. I can hear you whistling that memorable tune from "The Good, the bad and the Ugly."
I have a lot of fond memories of you. More than you'd realize. I'll be reminded of them when I look up at your amazing sons. I see the goodness that existed in your soul. They are beautiful young men. I promise you I'll do my best to help them through this painfully difficult time. You were a man of few words, but I hope you can help me out with the right words to comfort them. I'm sure God will gladly give me the message.
Well, I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say over time, but that should do it for now.
I love you,
p.s. Spenser says he really loves you, too.