Monday, October 14, 2013

F#@K Marry Kill

Are you familiar with the game? If not, you must live under a rock. Go knock yourself senseless with a rubber spatula or something while the fun kids play the game.

A couple of 'net friends are administrators of a fun page on Facebook called Retrochicks. On that page a promise of a rousing game of boff, marry, kill was promised for this evening. They replaced the profane word used in the title of this post because ... I guess because it is more retro. I don't know. Don't grill me. Damn.
In preparation for the evening festivities, Jane, one of the admins, posted this link to an interactive rendition of the game. It is rather silly. According to the creator there are right and wrong answers. The only ones I chose correctly are the ones to f#@k with exception to Adam Levine (Battle of the Adams). One Adam I don't even recognize so I chose to kill him. In the Michael round I got the f#@k right on a guess. The Michael I know of is Michael Cera. Quite frankly, there's no way I can imagine effing, marrying or bothering to kill him. He's a man-child.

For the record, I didn't bother with the female rounds. Even for pretend I don't care to imagine boffing or marrying women. Killing, maybe. Not for real, mind you. Honestly, I'd probably want to lock them all in a closet so they can out-cat fight each other.

Here's how I answered. Some might surprise you.

Battle of the Ryans:
Ryan Gosling -- Kill. I really don't understand the fascination with him. He's cute. But meh in the book of Riss
Ryan Reynolds -- Marry. He's cute, funny, tall and is probably willing to buy tampons for his lady.
Ryan Kwanten -- F#@K. He's hot and Australian. Have you seen True Blood? Yeah. All naked, baby.

Battle of the Johns:
Jon Hamm -- Kill. Out of respect to Jane, I cannot think of boffing or marrying him.
John Kasinsky -- Marry. Yeah, it might get boring.
John Stamos -- Blackie from General Hospital hangover. Gotta fulfill that teen fantasy.

Battle of the Michaels:
Michael B. Jordan -- first off, who the hell is this dude? It seems wrong to say I'd marry a guy I know little about, but he has a nice smile. Maybe he is marriage worthy.
Michael Fassbender -- Recognize the face and name, but no real idea what he's been in. He looks delicious, however. I'd happily romp in the sheets and risk rug burns on my knees and elbows.
Michael Cera -- Kill. Sorry, honey. I know it seems so wrong to kill that Bleaker kid.

Battle of the Adams:
Adam Levine: F#@k. DUH! Yeah, he's bragged about his prowess or past lovers have. He's too skinny in my book, but he is charming enough for me not to want to kill him.
Adam Scott -- Marry. He seems stable.
Adam Brody -- Who the hell is he? Kill.

Battle of the Hughs:
Hugh Dancy -- Shag. I have a feeling he's attentive and thorough.
Hugh Grant -- Kill. I dig the movies, but blurgh.
Hugh Jackman -- Marry! I'm OK being married to an ambiguously gay man. We'd have a great life together.

There ya go. Who else should we throw into the mix?


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