Saturday, December 22, 2007

You're cute! Tourist?

I was just reading an online acquaintance's blog and I nearly spit my coffee everywhere when I read this line: "Men in the Midwest, on the general whole, are ugly." No offense to any good looking man who happens to live in the armpit of America (my term). Let it also be stated that, if you are a good looking man who resides in the Midwest, you are an anomaly. God Bless you wherever you are; and are you single looking to date a woman with a teen-age son? HA! I digress.

I work in a mall setting. That in itself sounds pathetic. As luck would have it. No, it's not lucky. Anyway, there is a large window in our store that allows me plain view of the passing public. Needless to say, my male co-workers have a lot more to look at than we gals of the lab. It's on a rare occasion that a tall, good looking man walk by and strike my middle-aged, single and looking fancy. Did I mention that I'm single and looking? Again, I digress. Like a sniper on the look out we signal one another to come take a gander at the XY chromosome possessing specimen blessing us with his presence. It's as if time is slowed ... his stride seems deliberate. Does he know we're admiring how his jeans just graze his derriere? Is he aware that his pectorals remain firm as his arms slightly sway? Does he realize that the veins running up his forearms and to his well developed bi-ceps.... wow! Yeah, he must be visiting our fair town because men like that don't seem to exist. If, by some stroke of luck, he is a local; he is without a doubt married or solidly taken by some woman who only takes advantage of him. In a matter of moments he is out of our view. We have nothing but a memory of him. I live on that glimpse until six months pass and another fine specimen graces my visual senses.
Now, mind you, I am not nearly as superficial as this may appear. I can appreciate the everyday, typical looking fella. I love the idea of having a guy who can hold a conversation, keep me spellbound with his ability to tell a tale. I have the capacity to be intriqued by the guy who has a slight jelly belly. I'm simply saying that it's NICE to view eye candy from time to time ... just let me look at you. Shhhh no, don't talk. You'll ruin the view. Thank you.


  1. OMG!!! This is hysterical! You need your own single-woman website!

  2. "Acquaintance?" Oh come now, girlfriend, you can do better than that. Yeah, maybe I was being hasty in saying that Midwestern men were "eh"... your poster boy IS from Missouri, after all. I think I just got spoiled in the land of actors and pretty people...

    As for the mall... you are never going to meet Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now or even Mr. Maybe For 20 Minutes at the mall. Believe you me, I worked in Lincoln Mall for 8 years and it was full of icky yuckies.No, I definitely push the "Friend Of A Friend" route. Someone's trash is someone else's treaure... and you just never know what (or who) is around the corner. I am keeping all fingers crossed so tightly that I am losing circulation!


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