Rapier's Wit

Yes, the new year is closing in on me. According to Central Standard Time, it is 11:18 pm when I started this post. I can't really complain about 2007. It wasn't a bad year. It wasn't a stand up and cheer about it year, either. However, it was a year of growing emotionally. I suppose that could be considered stellar. I know a lot of people who haven't grown in that capacity for decades. At least they haven't overtly changed. However, that is not for me to judge or be concerned. I am declaring 2008 the Year of the Riss yes, you read it clearly. I'm not going to abandon friends, family or my dedication to being a selfless person. It does mean that I'm finally going to shift some focus on self-improvement. I'm going to give myself permission to have fun and live a little (again). I hope everybody can find it in themselves to be less selfish to NUMERO UNO! I know 'they' say everybody is too selfish as it is. I am not implying that you spend every pe...

In my previous blog summarizing my Internet dating experiences, I promised a woeful; yet funny tale about my match.com experience. No one said Internet dating was easy. Much like anything else in life, you have to have patience, sort through the BS and hopefully, be wise enough to see blatant red-flags. By age 42 I figured I'd be savvy enough to manage wading through the fallacies men often toss out on their line in hopes of hooking a woman like a voracious salmon swimming upstream to mate. The perusal of profiles ensued. My own profile delightful witty, but not daft. I revealed just enough to appear intriguing, but not mysterious. The perfect photo on display. Now, I just needed to sit back and wait for Mr. Right to send me a message. What a laughable thought that was. I was specific that I wanted someone who lived within a reasonable driving distance. I got responses from men in California, Oregon, Utah. The last time I checked, Illinois was not even close to bordering those s...

In 1999 I found myself newly single and totally out of my element regarding dating. I'm not one of those girls who finds herself drowning in male suitors. I'm also inclined to have more male friends and acquaintances than female. Men do not fix up their chick friends with guys they know. It was once explained to me that guy friends don't do this because it will cause one of two things to happen (possibly both): 1. Should the female friend ever get drunk enough to have friendly sex with him , it surely won't happen if she's dating one of his friends. 2. If things don't work out, he might lose a really good friend or two. I sought out attention and possible dates via the Internet. I was broke and unwilling to pay to put my mug on a dating website. That left me trolling the AOL chat rooms. I had various screen names. I learned that having anything with sexy, hot, gr8, etc in your name was a sure fire exclamation from chat roomies yelling, err, typing in caps PICS? ...

I was just reading an online acquaintance's blog and I nearly spit my coffee everywhere when I read this line: " Men in the Midwest, on the general whole, are ugly ." No offense to any good looking man who happens to live in the armpit of America (my term). Let it also be stated that, if you are a good looking man who resides in the Midwest, you are an anomaly. God Bless you wherever you are; and are you single looking to date a woman with a teen-age son? HA! I digress. I work in a mall setting. That in itself sounds pathetic. As luck would have it. No, it's not lucky. Anyway, there is a large window in our store that allows me plain view of the passing public. Needless to say, my male co-workers have a lot more to look at than we gals of the lab. It's on a rare occasion that a tall, good looking man walk by and strike my middle-aged, single and looking fancy. Did I mention that I'm single and looking? Again, I digress. Like a sniper on the look out we signal ...

I don't care what anyone says about this song, I love it. It combines three things that I love: Christmas, British/Irish Pop stars from the 80s and Love extending beyond borders. This movement and brain child of Bob Geldof started a landslide outpouring of help. I doubt we'd have the Jolie-Pitts setting out to save African children if Geldof hadn't opened our often self-centered eyes to the plight around the World. It seemed everyone got on the band wagon to save our Earth one Ethiopian at a time. Anyway, enjoy the video.

"Give a little bit. Give a little bit of your love to me." I'm a purist when it comes to this song. Give me the Supertramp original version over the Goo Goo Dolls. No offense to Johnny Resnick and his boys, but my preference is the nasal-wain pleading of Rick Davies. Oprah used this anthem of giving for her Pay it forward extravaganza last year. My niece participated in this outreach of unconditional giving. I'm trying to convince said niece to write a book about her personal triumphs. If nothing, write a blog. She's an astounding human being who has defied death numerous times. She learned to walk again after a debilitating accident that caused her brain trauma. Essentially her brain forgot how to tell her legs to walk. Within a year of that accident she was tap dancing like a pro on the stage of our community theater. Phenomenal young lady. And I get to call her FAMILY. I wrote a blog and added the feature our local newspaper did to honor her. The link will ta...

If I had to choose a modern Christmas favorite flick it would be (and is) 2003s Love Actually. This is not the kind of movie where you gather up the kinfolk, drink hot chocolate and string popcorn. This is an adult subject cornucopia to behold. I watch it anytime of the year, but the setting in the film is Christmas. You're taken on a winding trail of vignettes that eventually lead you to a singular path about finding love, losing love, rekindling love and saying goodbye to love. It's simply fantastic. It all begins with visions of loving people greeting one another in an airport (presumed to be Heathrow). Hugh Grant's distinctive voice is narrating what it is that brings us all together on this planet: Love actually. The cast includes some of my favorite actors and actresses: Colin Firth ... meow! Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Laura Linney. Did I mention Colin Firth? I so adore him. He's just a delicious looking man. It's the accent, perhap...

At 8:40 pm central time my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID as I normally do. It said, private caller . My first instinct was to just let it go to voice mail. More than likely it was a telemarketer or wrong number. The number I have was issued to me just over 2 years ago when I moved into this house. I've received numerous calls for someone else. My thoughts are that they had this number and continue to give it out as a means of avoiding bill collectors or the like. It's quite annoying, but so many people that I KNOW have this number and I don't want to be forced to beg the phone company to change it because some dolts refuse to be responsible. I even get calls for them from ComEd giving notice of disconnection. I hope they do get their electricity and utilities shut off. That's what they get for being turds and not updating or giving proper information. Back to MY call. I figured I'd just go on and answer and tell the caller to take me off their call list. Kil...

Oh, I'm not talking about big screen TVs my friends. I am talking about the BIG silver screen of the Paramount Theater in my hometown. Throughout the month of December the restored and beautiful Paramount Theater in downtown Kankakee is showing the holiday movies we love. Last night my son and I joined my sister, her family and her friend's family to a viewing of one of the greatest movies ever made: It's a Wonderful Life . It was truly a fantastic and remarkable sight to behold. Seeing Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed on that huge screen as my parents viewed it just captivated me. The humor and nuances seemed renewed. The scene where George Bailey feels he's hit rock bottom and he's drinking in Martini's Bar left me with such a sense of profound empathy. As George's tears streamed down his face, I felt my own eyes sting with tears. Having an audience to share my laughter really brought an additional spark to this old movie. I cried for the first time ever wh...

I live in the Midwest. Winters are cold and often unpredictable. The only thing we are certain of is that it will be cold enough to make your nipples fall off while being fully dressed in winter gear. It's currently a whopping 5 degrees. F I V E! That's a single digit. I won't get into the wind chill factor. For those of you that live in warmer climates that brings it BELOW ZERO. Extremities will freeze instantly. The benefit of it being that cold when your fingers and nose fall off (or nipples) is that you won't realize it at the time. You'll be a frozen human shaped block of ice. Once you defrost you can freak out from being less one earlobe. I'm so absolutely grateful that I was able to get a newer car back in March. For 2 years I had driven a 1993 Pontiac Sunbird without functional heat. It blew air, but it never got warm. Now I'm cruising in a 2004 Saturn L300 with heated leather seats. Let me tell you NOTHING is finer than having your frozen tushy make...

As a single mother, I am always trying to teach my 13 year old son that women are to be respected and not objectified. In this age of lusty, sexual visuals it's increasingly difficult. He is easily embarrassed by, as he puts it "skanky girls" on television and in movies. He tells me he doesn't understand why they have their rear ends and chests on display. Now, I do realize he is young. I'm his mother. I see the positive. So, his views are to my credit. That is not to say he isn't curious and appreciative of the female form. I do honestly believe he's learning that ogling and staring are inappropriate. I know some grown men who could take a lesson from my man-cub. So, the other night we were watching a movie. I'm pretty sure it was John Cusack's 1985 charmer, Better off Dead. He and I both love this movie. We've watched it so frequently we can quote many parts. I think what prompted his comment to me is that there is a character in the movie...

Ever since I can remember I have loved eggnog. While passing Fannie May Candies I eyed a sign in the window advertising their new item: Cheesecake . Like Homer Simpson spying a donut I muttered, "mmmm cheeeeesecake..." I adore cheesecake, too. Fannie May has brought together two of my favorite holiday treats! Eggnog cheesecake ! Again, I mentally take on another character; Will Ferrell's Buddy the Elf. I was subconsciously singing in the mall, "CHEESECAKE! I loooooooooove cheesecake and eggnog..eggnog cheesecake.. I-WANT-TO- EAT- IT- NOW!" I'm sure my co-worker was unaware of the scenario blaring through my head. Had this truly happened I'm sure I'd still be explaining to mall security how I managed to escape from my straight jacket. When did the love affair between eggnog and my taste buds first blossom? I can't recall the first time my tongue lapped up the delicious dairy-nog, but I assure you it was non-alcoholic. I do know that my mother ma...